Twisted and Broken Things - Comments

love the update :D

what can I say ... very promising start, I simply can't wait to read some more
you have a way with words .

Didn't see that coming. Very creative story so far. I adore your style. Now I'm craving me some Panic! =D

This leaves me with a lot of questions-- have they just met? Why were there only those two options? And so on. But it's not a bad kind of wondering, not the kind where you there and think 'what was that?' It's more of an 'I really want to know where this is going.' Great layout, by the way.

Brendon Urie. :D <3

The layout for this is incredible, it's dark but not too dark? I don't know how to describe it, but it's very pretty and easy to read.

The details in this were quite amazing, the way you described it was beautiful. I loved how it was just one single scene, yet you put so much into it. This flowed very well, and I can't pin point a sentence that I didn't like.

Also, I love vampire stories. Especially the ones that aren't too cliche, and this one doesn't seem like it'll be like one of those.

Anyways, amazing job. (: <3

Firstly, I really love the layout and the banner - they really fit the tone of the story. You're a very good writer - it all had a wonderful flow and the prose didn't sound forced at all, which is great. It was certainly a very suspenseful prologue - not quite giving the plot away but really making the reader want to know what happens next. I shall be subscribing :)

Excellent so far.

A very suspenceful prologue. I adore the layout, especially the way the red kind of brings out the darkness of the picture. Lovely banner. I just wish it seemed like more people knew the Dandies from the "A Little Less Sixteen Candles, a Little More "Touch Me"". I have a feeling this is going to be an amazing story, I'm dying to read more.
;)

Readable layout. Very, very good. :)

You write very well. Every single sentence there has a lovely flow to it and that makes it a pleasure to read even if the content is not my thing, being about vampires and all.

"The Dandies make up the highest level of vampires." This made me smile, but I guess it wasn't intended. I just like that the highest level of a killer race has a name that sounds more suited to a family of possums :) Also, it gave me the impression that these are not necessarily "bad" vampires. Their name isn't so menacing, and so I'm thinking their nature may not be, either.

I like that it ends with "It was the beginning of the end.". Although this gives you a good idea of what shall happen to the couple, it's a good way of enticing the audience. It makes you want to know why they shall not have a happy ending.

The layout works really well, like Ava Marie said the contrast works prefectly :-)
The summary was really short but really sweet. It worked well and drew me into the story as I read on.

This story is going to be absolutely amazing I can tell that much. The description and the way the story flowed was perfect! I hope you continue with this story for its starting off amazingly well.

The layout is simple and pretty, I like that. I loved the vocabulary you used this, so many beautiful words that just framed the story so well. This was an extremely interesting prologue, with just a bit of mystery, especially with the last line.

This is excellent! I would love to read more of this!

The layout this is really, really pretty. I like the contrast between light and dark and how the dark is perfectly centered. :)

The summary for this was pretty boss, too. That name, William Beckett had little red flags going up in my mind thought. Like one of those famous people names I should know, but don't haha. But I knew the Brendon name, so I figure it's all good. :) I'm really, really curious to see what this story has in store because the summary just really tugged me in. Gigglys, at the risk of sounding cheesy, I'm willing to bet this story will be something I can sink my teeth into. ;)<3

My two favorite lines in this had to be the ending line, and

"Most likely something completely stupid."

It really just made me giggle with how cute it was. Total, crude boy attitude and it was adorable.

Like I predicted, thanks to your fabulous summary, this was awesome possum. I liked all the detail, and the sense of mystery this gives off. I just, I need to know more, plain as that. :) <3

Amazing job so far. (:

love this so far :D