I hope Phoebe sue him and left in in the streets!!!! Or maybe with that money she can hire an assassin to kill Sebastian!!! I would be really happy! =D hahaha XD Love the story! keep the good work both of you! ^.^
You need to work on simple grammar. You leave dependent clauses alone, without an independent clause. Also, you repeat things that aren't necessary. One sentence was, "She came in calm. She came in so calm and timid.". Why not just combine the two? Work on grammar and sentence structure. And you could try different variations in the way you start a sentence. I feel that it's boring and repetitive if every sentence starts with "I".
Otherwise, I think this is a good idea yu just need to work on mak
Ok so please do not get really offended by this but you both need to work on your grammar. Also I like the fact that you are telling the perspectives from both characters but you have to remember to male them match up. So for example if Phoebe says or acts a certain way in her perspective then she should act the relatively the same(might be different since we see things differently) and say the same thing in Sebastian's perspective. I suggest rewritten certain areas to make them match with wherever they appear in anoher chapter. Also you should reread the previous chapter to make it so that it will make a smooth transition into the next. If you are finding it hard then ask someone for help.
Once again I'm not trying to be mean or rude with my comment I'm just trying to help out. If you want me to be more specific of the grammer and the chapters not matching up please let me know. I'm willing to help.
I just hope one day Phoebe kills him!!! He deserves to be tortured until he dies just like Dinah for being so cruel!!! Ahhh! I really hope he dies.... Update soon and nice layout! ^.^