City Traffic Puzzle - Comments

I didn't read all of it, but I really really love All Time Low. That being said, I never really read All Time Low fanfictions, so I wasn't really too sure what to expect. However, I really liked this one. It isn't really dumb and predictable like most fanfictions so congrats on that one! From what I've read so far, I really like it. Good job and keep it up!

So I just read the first chapter and I'm excited to read the rest. Normally I don't like to read fanfictions because they all seem to be the same but this story is extremely different from everything. I also like All Time Low, so that's a plus. I can't wait to finish the other chapters and hope you keep up the good work.

This is just so good. Honestly, i find myself rereading it.

I am so addicted to what happens next! please keep writing!

can u update please ok thanks

I must admit, I was instantly curious from the description. Your style, as others have said, is different. I think it's refreshing, although you can't read it lightly. I love the style, all the same, because sometimes you just need a story to concentrate on. I love the little descriptions and suspense in it, it's really, really good! It moves slightly too fast, but that can be overlooked.

I was reading this and I thought, "Oh, no, it's going much too fast." So I think your first chapter should have been the introduction instead. You know? I'm not saying that it's a bad chapter; I'm saying that since it's not long enough to be a sustaining chapter and is going steadily fast, I think it would have been more effective on the summary introduction page. Other than that, you have a good grasp on grammar and spelling and where you wanna take this plot.

Reading this, i thought hmm... different style of writing Compared to what I normally read but I found it refreshing, easy to read. The pace of you writing style is great too; it keeps the readers in the mood and I love the suspense at the end. Good luck in your work.

I have some thoroughly mixed reactions here. To begin with, I'm definitely not part of the Gaskarth fandom, nor am I that big into fanfiction in general, so please take any of my criticism on that account with a grain of salt. As is the case with most fanfiction that I've read, the plot seems a little contrived. Granted, you're hearing this from someone who drools over Kafka's The Metamorphosis, but I'm not sure that the contrivance works towards a higher end. To be a little more clear, I think the best use of a completely improbably plot line is to convey a deeper artistic meaning, rather than simply for show. Some would disagree with me, as many of you readers seem to, but that's my opinion.

On the other end of things, I think your writing is refreshing, stylistically. There's a very beautiful description in the first chapter that deals with writing "flurries" of words onto a page, which is a fantastic image. I get the feeling that you're holding back the more poetic aspect of your writing for this piece, and I would say to go right ahead and let it out in full. You have some very beautiful images here, which is a rarity on this site and in fanfiction in general, and I would love to see more of that.

Also, just as a side note, the "LCD" display in chapter three should be "LED." LED stands for light-emitting diode, and LCD stands for least common denominator, which is a technique for adding fractions...I'm sure you're aware and that this was just a typo. What I would really like to see is an LSD display...

Regardless, good luck with this piece. I think your writing has potential.

I have some thoroughly mixed reactions here. To begin with, I'm definitely not part of the Gaskarth fandom, nor am I that big into fanfiction in general, so please take any of my criticism on that account with a grain of salt. As is the case with most fanfiction that I've read, the plot seems a little contrived. Granted, you're hearing this from someone who drools over Kafka's The Metamorphosis, but I'm not sure that the contrivance works towards a higher end. To be a little more clear, I think the best use of a completely improbably plot line is to convey a deeper artistic meaning, rather than simply for show. Some would disagree with me, as many of you readers seem to, but that's my opinion.

On the other end of things, I think your writing is refreshing, stylistically. There's a very beautiful description in the first chapter that deals with writing "flurries" of words onto a page, which is a fantastic image. I get the feeling that you're holding back the more poetic aspect of your writing for this piece, and I would say to go right ahead and let it out in full. You have some very beautiful images here, which is a rarity on this site and in fanfiction in general, and I would love to see more of that.

Also, just as a side note, the "LCD" display in chapter three should be "LED." LED stands for light-emitting diode, and LCD stands for least common denominator, which is a technique for adding fractions...I'm sure you're aware and that this was just a typo. What I would really like to see is an LSD display...

Regardless, good luck with this piece. I think your writing has potential.

So far I'm very interested in what's coming next and I love how you formatted your work. It's easy to read and follow the story! Great job so far and I can't wait to find out more!

Here from Comment Swap~

Okay, honestly, I grimaced a little when I saw that I'd been given an All Time Low fan fiction. I've never been a fan of them, and I'd assumed yours would be no different from the rest. However, the first chapter immediately changed my assumption. You've got some mad quality stuff going for you here. Your writing is nearly flawless, though it could stand to be a bit more descriptive and less to-the-point, and your plot is bloody captivating. From what I can tell by reading the first few chapters, you're gonna have something awesome here. Keep up the great work! xx I subscribed and recommended.

Omg. Look at your phone Jack!!!!!! Ugh. Can't wait for more!

WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME ??? It's just pure awesomeness .

Wow. I forgot how much I love this story. Alex needs to embrace his inner Liam Neeson and go all Taken on this guys ass and get his daughter back already!

Wow, just wow. I don't really know what to say. I'm so interested in the premise of this story. I don't read bandom very often, and I'm pleasantly surprised that comment swap brought me here. I think the plot is really original; I haven't read a story where one of the band members just up and left before, and I really like the idea of this. I can't wait to read more of it! I only read Chapter one and I'm already interested!

I quite like this. ATL isn't really my thing, but I was able to understand everything pretty well even though I know literally nothing about them. The banner and layout are pretty good, eye-catching. My favourite quote would have to be in the last chapter:

"Alex Gaskarth was beyond furious as he let the angry words spill thoughtlessly from his mouth, barely holding back in the same way he would usually have done under Mr Clifton's threat."

It just leaves a really vivid mental image, and I imagine acid spewing from his mouth when I read it: it's a weird thought but the fact that he's angry just evoked the image. Anyway, your spelling and grammar is perfect as far as I can say, which is amazing. Your style of writing is simple and not too wordy, but descriptive enough. Its great that you managed to find the balance. Sorry, I really suck at comments, haha. Anyway, I came here from comment swap and this was a very enjoyable read. Good luck with the rest of the story, you are a really talented writer! c:

Woah, I was definitely not expecting that twist, but it's nice to know why Alex ran off. I really thought he was dead in chapter five, but I'm so glad he's not!! I think it's so sweet how Jack refuses to believe that he is dead. This story was really great and so captivating! You did a very excellent job!

Yeahy! You're back! This is a really good story! I can't wait to read more! Keep up the good work! =D

I only read the first chapter and although ATL really isn't my type of music, I loved your writing. You have nice description and it was fast, easy, and smooth to read. I didn't get really invested in it though, seeing as it's only the first chapter and I didn't plan on reading the rest.