Forever's Not Supposed to End - Comments

AWWWW D: that was so SAD! D: im glad he finally woke up <3
more soon, and dont worry about it, it's perfectly fine :)

awwww i loved the matthes thoughts and just the whole chapter in general lol

^ exactly what i was going to say lol but yeah it is awsome i can actually imagine nate and matthew running up that buliding lol. when i got to the part where matthew was thinking i'll push you off if you beat me then jump cos i cant live without you i literally went aww. more soon please and yes lets get to matthews miracle recovery :D i thought you captured that chapter perfect of how irritating it must be to hear your oved ones crying and you cant tell them you are going to be okay xx

there are no words to describe how AMAZING this was! poor Matthew :(
really liked it, cant wait for more :)

awwww Matthew really is a hero and i love this story it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside as he gets better and better and i like how it isnt rushed b/c that makes it more realistic lol the funniest thing tho is i dnt listen to Madina Lake so i had no idea who they were at first lol but this is good i hope you update soon :)

I love this shame it's based On a true story glad Matthews better more soon please

The dark-ish text is kinda hard to read against the layout, but other then that, it's plain and simple, nice (:

I really like the relationships that the two brothers in this story seemed to have, since it just makes them more 3 dimmensional and real.

The opener was really good, it had a good hook and I liked how mysterious it was, it really hooks people in and makes them want to find out what was really going down that night.

Overall, good work!

Also, I know who the two bands in this story, just thought I'd add that in xD

I find the layout hurting my eyes, but that doesn't matter XD

The sentences, despite how they are fairly detailed...sorta, seemed choppy. The paragraphs were choppy too. I think the story deserves more detail, you know? Add setting and character information/detail/whatever. Make the words have clear images for the readers :)

Over-all this seems interesting with Hayley Williams (I love her!) and her having a type of romance in this story.

Keep up the good work :)

I'm not a big fan of the layout :/ It made my eyes hurt when I went to comment D:
I love how sad and awesome this story is! ^.^
Nathan is such a sweet heart!
I was thinking that Mathew was gonna wake up and get slightly better, Nathan Hayley take care of him, and fall in looove! ^.^
Its your story and its awesome!

Ah, I was happy to get an email letting me know I'd have something to read when I got back from my camping trip today. :P

This was really sad, which in turn means your writing continues to be amazing. It takes talent to be able to get readers feeling emotional, after all haha. I still feel so, so bad for Nathan. Even more so now. :( Can't wait to see how things continue to unfold. Great update!

Okay, I'm going to be typing this as I read it. Just letting you know :D

Summary/Layout:
I like that the summary is an excerpt from the story. It really caught my attention!
As for the layout, the way it is now is cool, with the black and green. I think a custom layout with a banner would really make it pop though. You can always ask people, including me, to make you one! :)

Chapter One:
I love the detail you put in this. It's pretty amazing. Nathan seems like a pretty cool dude.
The end of the chapter made me sad though. It was courageous what he did.

Chapter Two:
Oh no :( I hope he makes it!
This chapter made me want to cry. The detail and emotion that you put in this is really good.
No mistakes that I caught.

Chapter Three:
Oh my. You can practically feel the sadness rolling off of him.
Once again, good detail. This story is turning into one of my favorites! :)

Chapter Four:
Hayley is the bomb! :)
I like how she's so caring and just..yeah.
Very very good job so far on this.

So, I'm subscribing to this.
I can't wait to see where this goes!
<3

I've never listened to this band, and I never knew that happened to this guy. That's really horrible. :(
That being said, this story definitely has me intrigued. :) I always find the relationship between twins to be such an interesting dynamic, and I feel so bad for Nathan. I will subscribe, and am looking forward to reading more!

I'll start off with the layout is a little too dark, I think. With the grey against the black. I feel like even if you put a white background against the text it'd look a little appealing.

The beginning made me laugh, one joint in his hand in one in his pants. I was just like YOU GO NATHAN. Especially how casual he is about it, just like, meh. Whatever. No big deal. He is officially my favourite.

I like their brotherly relationship, how they pick on each other. The ending was so sad though, it went from such a happy atmosphere to like, terror. Gah, I felt so bad, he was only trying to help!

I think instead of going just into their actions (I did this, I did that and so on) try delving a little more into the emotions that he's feeling, you know? It's great for character depth and well, getting to know them. I mean, how does he feel when he sees this scene and so on? How does he feel about the break up? Getting into that I think would a lot more dimension to your story! :)

I figured I'd be fair and comment on your other story and this one :D

He should've been smarter than that, honestly. Even I would've known that a guy who was about to kill or shank some woman wouldn't just walk away. Especially when the other guy's teensy.

Well, this is really interesting, and I've subscribed :D