Fighting for Freedom - Comments

First of all, lovely layout and picture. Although I think that picture of Taylor Swift is overused, I also think that it's beautiful and fits your story well. The entire time I imagined your princess to look like miss Taylor :)
Your summery let's me know two things: one, you area very intelligent writer and two, this will not be any ordinary "fairy tale". It drew me in:)
The actual story was very well written. I particularly like how it's a story within a story. Like, the babysitter is telling this little girl a story, but it's nit the run of the mill fairy tale. I think that whole opening scene sets up the rest of the story quite nicely.
No spelling or grammar mistakes spotted, although when I'm reading I usually have a hard time picking that stuff out, so that means you have at least not major mistakes...good job:)
Last thing I want to mention is I'm impressed by how correct you are when when talking about technical stuff like the dresses. It makes me feel like I'm reading an historical novel:)
Nice story, I can't wait to see what you do next with it:)

nice update. i really like princess and stories like this, but nice ones like this are hard to find. Update soon please!!!

Ouuu, I really like this story! I'm a sucker for fairytales, so, and especially the ones with the rebel princess. :3
I thought the introduction was brilliant, it really gave it a classic story sort of feel that made me just want to curl up in a million blankets and read the entire thing in one sitting, if that makes sense.
I like how she has a reasonable head on her shoulders too, she's not spoiled or bratty even though her atmosphere allows her to be, and it's shown in little things like how she sees her maids and whatnot.
Forbidden romance, you have found my weak spot!<33
I love how you have that historic feeling to it too, I really love fiction like this but it's seems to Keats be ruined with this modern-day tinge, but you don't do that which is awesome!
I really am excited to meet to suitors, and the one she loves most of all, hehe.
The lion metaphor was super nifty, too! c:
I really think this is a wonderful start, I'm excited! :3

I read the summary and I'm intrigued to know more. It gives out the forbidden romance vibe which is one of my guilty pleasures. ^_^

I love the way you started this story. Instead of just jumping into the story of Lydia (I love the name by the way. It's not some stupid, fancy names and it's beautiful), you started of with the babysitter telling it as a bedtime story to the kid. It's pretty cute, actually.

I don't usually like to read princess stories because it's hard not to fall into the cliches but I have a good feeling about this one. I find no problem with your writing and that may be because I'm not too nit-picky about grammars unless if it's really obvious.

So, kudos for you. This is a perfect first chapter that makes the readers hunger for more.

I really enjoyed this!

First, a couple things I didn't like. The banner and the story area don't match up at all, and that doesn't look really good. And also, Dustin and Jessica aren't really names that fit into this story very well. The names don't fit with the times.

But besides that, this is very cute! I like that it is a bedtime story for a young girl, instead of just being a story about a princess. The little girl was very cute; you don't see many girls who don't like fairy tales.

Overall, good job!

I love it! It was amazing :)

I loved how I could just picture your story in my head and watch it play out :) I can't wait for more

lol love it! i love the little girl! i wanna see more of her in the future :)

Another AWESOME story!!

This is a very interesting idea, it'll be interesting to see how the story continues. To be honest I wasn't a huge fan of the banner but that dosn't really matter. So far I love what you have, your descriptions are wonderful and the summary was good, it made me want to read this. Good job

I love stories that have a period feel, so as soon as I glanced over the summary I was hooked. I loved the summary, it gave a nice sense of the basic idea behind the story. I also love that you included a quote, but that it was paraphrased so it didn't give too much away. It made it much more interesting, too, whent he quote appeared in the story as it registered familiar but wasn't boring - good because you used a fairly long quote!

I loved the introduction; I thought it was adorable. I'm doing a primary teaching course right now, and I love that you included a child that was obviously completely different to most because it happens so regularly. I think that's just something that I would automatically enjoy, but you did it so well. I hope that gets tied up at the end, I'll be excited to see that!

I liked how Lydia avoided the question and how you descirbed her opinions towards the marriage set-up. It worked so well, and the simile of the lions, tensing up, claws drawn and ready to pounce on their prey was beautiful. It brought wonderful visions in to mind automatically.

Great job so far! I can't wait to see what comes of this! ♥

I like this a lot I didn't see any mistakes or anything like that your layout is increidibally elegant and it just fit what you had going on in the story a lot.

You described things beautifully, and I really love how you have the way she feels about getting married being describe as walking in to a lions den its beautifully done and its a good way to show her fear of what was going on

Much <3 Kat

This is definately a good start. I've seen a lot of I am an independent princess and I want the poor man kind of stories, but from just reading the first chapter I can tell it'll be a million times better than I profiled it as. I loved the little intro in the beginning but in a way, it could be unneeded but I like it where it is, so keep it.

I totally already love Cassie and Lydia. And this Dustin jester guy sounds pretty sweet if he writes her a song every year. I have to say that my favorite part of the whole story is when she's getting laced up and they're tightening the thing. It reminded me of the first Pirates of the Caribean movie and it made me just wanna keep reading.

Great job!

Wow. This was amazing. I loved it, very very much. <3
Especially the little girl, in the beginning. I thought it
would just be a story about a princess, but it's a story
within a story. I've always thought that was pretty cool. ^.^

The summary was very interesting. It was kind of long,
but it was very intriguing to me. I mean, I liked it because
it didn't seem too conventional.

I liked the beginning of the story within the story.
The description you gave me was very interesting.
I liked imagining this whole thing. It felt very pretty.
I'm a bit of a day dreamer, so this was very cool for me.

As I read this, I found there were a few historical inaccuracies.
And what I mean by that is, there were just a few places in the
dialogue and other areas that seem a little too modern.
A lady in waiting wouldn't address a princess with their actual name.
They would say 'Your royal highness' or something along those lines.
It wasn't a big deal, though.

In some places I could see some grammatical errors, but none too big.
This was really good. Very lovely, actually.

I liked the intro :) It confused me a little at first, but I caught on and think it's a neat addition to the overall story :)

It was very wellwritten, and it feels pretty authentic. I like it so far! Subscribing :D

Wow. I loved it. I love the idea of the story telling and then jumping almost like into the story. You have a way with words, I loved the imagery I got in this. Well done. I love the layout by the way:) It plays like a movie in my head, I'd defiantly like to read more.

Sorry for not commenting on this yesterday my computer was having issues and I have a horrible headache. and you don't have to comment on my story that I swapped you for. I looked at this yesterday and I read the summary I wanted to read yours anyway. First off, I love the layout the banner is very pretty. I loved the introduction it made reading the story kind of like a movie and the descriptions you used were amazing so I could really picture everything like a real movie which is fantastic. The summary was great too. I liked the end of the chapter I really want to read more so update soon!

damn.

i'm speechless.

like.....

wow.

I literally don't think there are strong enough words to explain just how abosultely marvelous this is. the idea, the plot, characters, the banner and layout the descriptions and wording. it's al amazing.

I cannot wait until you update. this is just.... incredibly written. you have talent my dear. lots of talent!

alright, i'm gonna comment twice. first for the summary/layout.

the layout is pretty, elegant, fitting the story perfectly. I absolutely love the banner though and it's not just because i'm a huge taylor swift fan xD

the summary itself, for a second I thought it was the first chapter and i'm thinking this is freaking incredible, and to find out it's only the summary. well damn, I guess the first chapter will be better! well, i'm gonna go read it now, then comment again what I think!

Interesting story idea.
Okay, the layout. The banner picture doesn't really fit the story section, but that just bugs me because... It is just me :tehe:
The story itself. I did not see many grammar or spelling errors, so, good job, I guess.
Umm... I guess that is all of the criticsm that I can give you...