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Listen to Me - Comments

  • Nicole_789

    Nicole_789 (100)

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    This iss why you delete your history lol.
    February 26th, 2012 at 07:02pm
  • LaRawra!

    LaRawra! (100)

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    Still liking it! :D
    February 24th, 2012 at 03:21am
  • Alex Suarez

    Alex Suarez (100)

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    ooooo I wonder what happened?
    February 15th, 2012 at 12:38am
  • Nicole_789

    Nicole_789 (100)

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    Update please... Like u said yourself I hate having to wait for updates for good stories lol
    February 14th, 2012 at 10:28pm
  • Snowfall Melody

    Snowfall Melody (100)

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    awww, what happened? very cute
    February 14th, 2012 at 09:11pm
  • meyers

    meyers (100)

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    Ooooooooh drama :o
    I'm in love okay. Rory is so cute I swear. And Jason seems like a good guy. :)
    February 14th, 2012 at 03:34pm
  • Snowfall Melody

    Snowfall Melody (100)

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    Very interesting. I love your characters they're realistic and cute. I would love to read more
    January 22nd, 2012 at 08:59am
  • LaRawra!

    LaRawra! (100)

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    Keep This Story! It's really fun to read and I'm looking foward to the next chapter! It grabbed my attention really quickly. :)
    January 22nd, 2012 at 01:33am
  • petefan2008

    petefan2008 (100)

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    KEEEEEEEEEEEEEP lol
    December 19th, 2011 at 03:53pm
  • Alex Suarez

    Alex Suarez (100)

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    This was really good! Can't wait for the next! :)
    xxKaili
    December 6th, 2011 at 09:45pm
  • tonic

    tonic (100)

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    This is constructive criticism and has not been written to offend you. Whether you take my advice or not is your own decision. I’ll only review your first chapter. Message me if you want me to critique the rest.

    Chapter 1: The beginning doesn’t reel me in. On a website like Mibba, as harsh as this may sound, a reader can easily take one glance at your story lose interest, then click back and read something else. The first chapter is vital for capturing your audience’s attention.

    So, rather than a monologue, you could maybe transport your reader into a scene, and incorporate the paragraphs you’ve already written. That way you’re explaining your characters context and still integrating a story for your readers to follow. I would also cut down on some of the information that he’s piling on. It seems too rushed and overwhelming.

    Rory seems like a very down-to-earth character, and I commend you for that.
    December 6th, 2011 at 11:23am
  • Alex Suarez

    Alex Suarez (100)

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    Oh my god! I am absolutely in love with this story! I also loved the update! Can't wait for the next!

    Kailixx
    November 30th, 2011 at 07:36am
  • Nicole_789

    Nicole_789 (100)

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    DEFFINATELY KEEP!!! This story has potential and not to mention its so sexy ;) LOL
    Keep it up and ill be waiting for more soon :P
    November 30th, 2011 at 06:39am
  • rochelle

    rochelle (100)

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    Gahh, this sounds so promising! More soon? (:
    November 30th, 2011 at 04:02am
  • Red of the Pellet

    Red of the Pellet (100)

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    Ah, I love this already! :) Can't wait to read more.
    October 7th, 2011 at 08:18am
  • Alex Suarez

    Alex Suarez (100)

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    Also first comment! xD
    October 7th, 2011 at 06:51am
  • Alex Suarez

    Alex Suarez (100)

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    Hey, I'm really liking this so far. I love Rory's point of view and I am excited to read more of this story!
    xx Kaili
    October 7th, 2011 at 06:51am
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