Soon My Friend - Comments

I really like this idea so much. I reread the first chapter and saw that you've edited it which is good. Now I know why you've chosen Atlas as your character's name (it should have been obvious to me really) and I just, get this background story on him while I'm reading. It's cool.

There are a few grammatical errors where you switch up your tenses but that's cool, you know, no one's perfect. I think this story is going to be a great one for sure. (:

Awesome!! I love astronomy, and am really into it, so this story for me, is extremely interesting. I like how you didn't spend too much time in the past, just going over it in an explanation of his character and what he's like. I can't wait to see what happens at his interview, but I'm also interested in seeing why the other guy with the tattoo's seems like he hates him already.
=D AHHHH I just want to read more!

wow. i love it. cant wait to see what appens next. you hooked me and i stayed that way.

Okay I have to say I am such an astronomy freak so in the first chapter when you talked about Atlas always looking at stars and constellations I was like 'hell yeah!'. I also like how he's an alien. The story as a whole is very innovative and I encourage you to keep writing!

That being said I wish you would've described a little more about his high school years. For example, how he got along with other students, how was he during puberty, and how well did he get along with his foster parents during these years.

Other than that the story is really good! I like it a lot :)

I also have an space/alien story I'm working on if you'd like to read it. It's called 'Moon Island' C:

Oh my lord she kissed him! At first I thought that she wasn't gonna accept him but, this is just too cute. I really want an alien boyfriend now. xD. This chapter was amazing. I spotted a few type o's here and there, but if you read through it you'll find them.

I don't know why you don't have any other readers. It's sad. I'll try to get you some. I can't type anymore or I'll faint. lol. This was amazing. :"D

I'm very confused by this, first off, with an odd name such as Atlas, there needs to be an explanation for that, at least in my opinion. Secondly, the way you're telling the story in the first chapter is kind of rushed, like his past isn't important which I can tell that by the mystery of the locket that it is important. Its just really confusing. I like your idea though, it reminds me of the Martian Child movie.

That was definitely a different reading experience for me on this site. I think this story is interesting and has potential since it's pretty original. For me, it's moving a little too fast though. A little more description and maybe insights from the character would be nice.

There were a few grammatical errors that a couple of rereads won't fix. But one thing that really bothers me is the first line of the summary. It's redundant because if someone was raised in an orphanage, it's a given that they didn't grow up with their parents.

Aside from that, I think you're doing a pretty good job.

Hmm, Atlas? Very unusual name but then again, he comes across as a very unusual boy with an unusual upbringing so then again, it all matches quite well, aha. This was very original and interesting, and it's quite unlike any story I've read on Mibba (in a good way, of course) and I like how right off the bat, you made him a fairly odd sort of kid which again highlights his name which is also strange, which in turn highlights his attributes.

Ahaha, when you described Mr Marshall, you wrote, "Clark gable would be jealous." That made me laugh, I liked the old Hollywood reference :3 'gable' should be capitalised though, since it's a person's name.

Despite the couple grammatical errors here and there, it wasn't anything too major though and you have a very interesting premise so far and your writing is easy to follow and read :) Good job, keep it up :)

Wow, this is the best chapter so far. I liked the super hero action in it. This story is definetly growing greatly and you have something good going here. I can see this being made into a move or something. Keep writing. I'm already subscribed. :"D

This piece is definitely original and interesting. There are of course a few grammatical errors splattered here and there, but otherwise I find this very interesting. I've never read anything lik eit on Mibba so good on you. But I do feel like maybe there could be a bit more depth with your characters, and more of an...outlook on him and his life. :]

She was a fairly blonde with a blotch of freckles in her nose... *fair, on her nose

Grammatically speaking, those were the only things that stood out to me.

I don't know if it's just me, but this sort of seems like a romance story. Not in the conventional way, of course, but a romance dealing with your main character and who he truly is. Granted, with the second chapter, you've told us basically who is, but there's more to that.

There's so much to discover, so much more to learn, he wants to find his purpose and just... to know who he is. I adore that. It's what everyone goes through. And even though he isn't of this world, you've made him human.

And although at times your writing techniques are a bit choppy, it's brilliant. I feel like this plot is so much more than just the obvious, and that it can be interpreted in many different ways. No matter what ending you give it, I believe it'll still have that 'open-ended' feel for the reader-- which is so hard to accomplish.

When reading the first chapter, it was almost painful to feel how much he longed for the sky. He loves passionately, he wants more, he needs more. I don't know, I'm rambling, but I really adored your piece.

It goes without saying; I'm subscribing.

Hwyshfiehsi this is awesome.
I love your writing.
It's a bit choppy in some places.
Mars needs to be capitalized. Sorry. That bugged me. And, Me and your mother will wait for you when you get here. It's Your mother and I. That bugged me too.

The only thing I didn't really like was that there were two paragraphs in the second chapter that were really long. The part with the counselor, and the letter from his dad. The letter from his dad made sense, but there were places in the part with the counselor that I kind of lost track on what was going on.
But this was still a great story. I've never seen a space story, so it should be really interesting to keep reading this. :)

I hope you update again. This is like...ashdslka dsjakldsa. I mean, it's the new Star Wars. It's like Star Wars and Super Man had a baby. But this baby is just...like...dude. I love this. My new husband is amazing.

I love that there's a girl in it that actually encourages him with what he wants to do in life. He seemed so confused. He wanted to do two things but now, oh now he knows what he's been put on the Earth to do. I love this. It's simply brilliant. Please update. You left it at the best part!

The way you've summarized the character in the first chapter was good. I enjoyed getting to know the character, even though it was in a short time. All the little facts you gave, like the enjoyment of the night sky or the opinion of college really made me feel like I knew this person.

Over all, you seem like a very talented writer and I am very interested in the story. Great job!

You have such amazing writing skills, I actually love this story and where it seems you're going with it. The main character seems like he has a lot to discover about himself, and I hope I get to read about the journey to not only mars but his self discovery :] Anna seems like somethings a little mysterious with her, it makes me wonder how she knows who he really was this whole time. You have a nice choice of words as well. i can't wait until you write more :]

I absolutely love the first chapter, and even the summary. As soon as I read the summary I just felt as though I needed to read more. Your first chapter is completely brilliant. You use such amazing grammar it makes me feel as though my stories are inadequate compared to yours. I can't wait to read more.

You did a wonderful job. (:

Your summary did just what a summary should: hooked the reader. I like that it told me just enough without giving away the plot.

The story in itself was well done. It isn't too fast paced or filled to the brim with excessive description that crams huge words that most people don't know the meaning of. I'm falling for the main character, I love how intelligent he is.

Fantastic job. ;)

Okay, so I’m not a person who looks for grammar or spelling mistakes mistakes in stories, so I’ll try my best.

I found even advanced placement seemed to easy. isn’t it suppose to be even advanced placement seemed too easy. I don’t know, I guess it’s right, but it felt weird for me. I’m sorry if my version is incorrect :)

That’s the only spelling mistake I found, but I am half blind, so you know, I’ll leave someone else to help you with grammar and stuff... Onto the content and layout of the story of the story!

Layout: I think the colors match perfectly, I’m not going to say it’s oh so beautiful or it’s so ugly. It looks fine, it’s readable, so it’s fine :) If you want someone to think it’s absolutely beautiful, you might want someone to make you a layout...

Summary: In my opinion, the summary is absolutely intriguing and amazing. I actually felt like reading this story because it sounded so damn unique and interesting, that’s a good thing. I haven’t like, ever, read a story that has the main character going to mars.

First Chapter: It was an amazing beginning. I love how you started with Atlas explaining how his love for stars came from and then you ended with him in college where the story actually comes into play. But, I also love how you make him like other scientists. I’m not a person who follows every scientist, but I do know some scientists weren’t doing great during school or college time, but they ended up doing great things. One thing though, what does Atlas mean? I know there’s one meaning, but maybe you had something else in mind when you chose that name?

Also, I agree so hard with Robin ,it's unbelievable ;)

I was like dsal dsjkla. I mean, I didn't even know if it was a girl or a boy in the summary until you said "He". (That's a good thing.) So, I mean, it's just so not cliche. I really enjoy your writing. You have a way of actually telling a story that's different.

But when I read that he was from another planet...I was just so...full of emotion. I love aliens. It's just...something people don't write about. And his name is just...I want to marry him. Is that okay?

Okay, let's get serious. Anna seems so sweet and just perfect. I like that he was kind of the outsider, by choice of course, that really had a passion for the stars. He seems so different and I like it. It gives me the feeling that he kinda knew that he was different from the beginning.

He's smart which is key if I want to marry him. ;) I like that...I don't know he just seems so different. He's not a rock star or a boy who's in love or anything. He's a smart, handsome (I think) alien and that's just, it fills me with joy. I'm gonna make pretend I'm Anna. Is that okay?

I loved the scene when Anna took him to where he would show her the constellations. It's just so romantic and I'm now in love. This is lovely. I'm gonna subscribe. You're an amazing writer.