February 21st, 2017 at 09:13pm
The band name is gold. That is awesome.
"Remember that you will die."
Wow, so the descriptions that were used in the first chapter made me
it was written incredibly well. The second chapter was easier to read, mainly because I tend to zone out when there is full-on description and barely any dialogue. (I love my YA novels! 
) The one thing that threw me off in the second was the characters that made an appearance, that was quite a bit to take in, with all the names to remember and stuff.Other than that, I enjoyed what I read. Both of you are really good writers, and I hope you continue doing it.
and @ Oblivion, I agree that bass players should always get some love!
And River has come along so much since the start of the story, she's letting Issac in more and more! :D
shame on me!
It has to be the twins! Even thought they're related already, I love them with all of my metaphorical heart!
What I like right off of the bat with this is that it's a lot less glamourised and a lot more realistic. It's silly little things like talking about the tech and how important they are to the band that just add this instant sense of realism to this story. There's a lot of silly little things that, as a musician, I really appreciate seeing as well. In the second chapter, when you've got Jessii patching up her fingers -- that was really cleverly done! You can also almost feel the adrenaline as you're reading, particularly when you've got them winding down post-concert. I can see the entire first chapter playing out in front of my eyes like it was me in River's place. You've instantly got this wonderful sense of characterisation as well -- you get the sense that River does have this camaraderie with her bandmates. That continues on as you have both Jessi and River's chapters in the future. You both describe their emotions so well; not too explicit, but also not impossible. It's written flawlessly between the lines and I love it.
The other thing that I love about this is the seamless interweaving of the language (Swedish? I'm gonna assume Swedish) throughout. It doesn't trip up the flow, and it adds that little extra hint of culture to the whole thing. It's really cool to see a story that isn't set in the US or in London, so that is really cool as well.
I love this, honestly. You've both got a great writing connection and the chapters flow completely seamlessly. You've also got this lovely mix of joking and serious tone. I love reading about bands when they're on tour, and this honestly hits the nail on the head for me. I've hit chapter 8 by this point and I'm definitely going to be continuing and subscribing -- this is so awesome! Wicked job!