August 5th, 2012 at 09:27pm
Behind the Lines - Comments
-
-
This is good little story you've got here. Lovely written. The story is very believabe too. Great work!August 5th, 2012 at 08:28pm
-
I love your story!! And caleb is so freaking sweet. I love how real this is. And i think blaine and claire should accept her!! They got along so well!! Update soon!August 2nd, 2012 at 09:16am
-
I absolutely love description. It brings a story to life and helps the reader visualize exactly what's going on. But in this case, and don't think I'm crazy or mean for saying this, it seems like you put maybe too much description in it. At least at the beginning. It seemed like there were so many words and sentences that it didn't seem to flow right.
Don't get me wrong, your vocabulary and character development is superb and this story overall intrigues me. But the beginning seemed a bit choppy. At least to me it did.
But otherwise, Happy Writing!July 28th, 2012 at 02:18am -
Caleb is cool but I TOTALLY want Blaine back!!!! SO BADLY!July 25th, 2012 at 06:45am
-
You're killing me!!! Just as I thought you were going to explain why everyone hated her....you didn't :( I know you're making it a mystery. You're doing a good job. Update soon :)July 25th, 2012 at 12:37am
-
It just keeps getting better :) Can't wait for the next update!!July 21st, 2012 at 03:31am
-
UPDATE!!!!!!!July 20th, 2012 at 11:28am
-
UPDATE!!!!!!!July 20th, 2012 at 11:28am
-
That last chapter was AMAZING... I'm happy something good happened for her and that she isn't with her family because she didn't deserve any of that crap. I already like Rob though.... ;)July 19th, 2012 at 06:16pm
-
Yay she's happy! Now who is her mate? I kind of have a feeling on who it is...July 19th, 2012 at 04:06pm
-
absolutely love this story, its one of my favorites... update soon!!July 19th, 2012 at 04:55am
-
Damn I just wanted to slap all the people that were mean to her! I had a feeling this was going to happen and please update soon!July 18th, 2012 at 02:25pm
-
Righto! Okay, so the layout (I know it's premade as I've used this one before): The title is kind of hard to read since it's green on green.
I really like the summary, though. It gives something big away, but not too big, if you know what I mean.
Here's something that I really liked about the story: This isn't really just any story, it's different. It's like I walk into a store and I walk to the book section and go to the slightly unpopular books, I pick one up and start reading. This is what this story feels like, if that makes sense. This is amazing work. I see no mistakes, so it's actually like I'm reading a published work. You used great, great description which I loved and that made the story even greater.July 17th, 2012 at 07:55pm -
Great idea for the story and I enjoyed reading it. I just feel it is a bit unrealisiltic. Her parents even disowned her? What about unconditional love? Isn't that what parenthood is about? Plus, after three years of silence, it only took being partnered together to make him apologize. I just thought it was odd that the first chapter of the story he is apologizing already and the second, he is crying over it. It felt a bit rushed. However, I did enjoy reading the story and the idea is brilliant.July 14th, 2012 at 04:46pm
-
Okay, so my comment posted before I had finished, so This isn't like the usual stuff I read, but I really like it and I think you've done a great job, well done! I like the characters but I think the 'no one cares' is over played a lot, and that might be your aim, but reading that a lot becomes tedious after a while, as it pulls away from the story:3July 14th, 2012 at 03:31pm
-
This isn't like the usual stuff I read, but I really like it and I think you've done a great job, well done!July 14th, 2012 at 03:27pm
-
I'm in love with this story! Blaine is so sweet and I love how he stands up for Journey! It's amazing! I love how you put so much detail into it, it's like I'm sitting there with Journey!July 14th, 2012 at 08:34am
-
Alright, so I'm going to comment on your summary evern though you said not to. I think it was too long, and revealed too much of what the story was going to be about. If anything, you should make it shorter and add more mystery to it, to make people want to read the story more. I know how hard summaries are though, they always mess me up too.
I only read the first chapter, because this isn't really a type of story that I like to read. I think you have to watch out and make sure that the story doesn't end up being incredibly cliche. I think with whatever twist you have in there it should be fine but the whole ex-best friend that the girl hates" thing is a little overdone.
You characters seem rather intriguing so far, and I like how you took the time to go into some descriptions and didn't just fill the whole thing with dialogue.
I don't understand the layout though, it doesn't really match very well and I'm not exactly sure how the background fits in with the story.
Good luck with the rest of the story though, it seems like it has tons of potential! (:July 14th, 2012 at 06:23am -
Okay, so I actually quite enjoy this. I think the plot is kind of like a common type of movie you'd go see in theaters, though. Typical ex best friends who were probably in love or something, then one did something to the other and now they're not friends. The only corrections I think you should make though are some grammar one's. And the background isn't very fitting, even though it's adorable. Make the audience feel like they're in the story more! :)July 14th, 2012 at 05:36am
This is a good little story you've got here. Lovely written. The story is very believable too. Great work!