Don't Let These Boots Fool You - Comments

So I'm not really into hockey, but I thought your story was very entertaining and well written. I like how Kelly has an attitude and knows how to handle herself. I have yet to continue reading this, I will don't worry, but I just wanted to write you this first. Your detail is perfect and so far there has not been a point where I was bored and no longer wanted to read. Keep up the good work and keep writing :)

I love the new chapter!!! Im thinking her man should be Jordan

Jordan or Sidney definitely!

She ought to be with Jordan, I agree. But I hope he's going to act mature and not be a douche around her, but it sounds like he really cares for her

ehhhh I think she should be with Jordan, but have like a ocean of issues holding her back from him.... I hope that makes sense to you xD lol but i really like the story and cant wait for the next chapter :)

:( <--- this face explains all

Ha! I'm on the first chapter and I love Kelly. Being from the south, I understand her attitude and "southern lessons!"

Super interested in seeing where this story Is going!!! Keep it up! I love it!

Wow, I hope she's going to be okay :O That was an intense chapter

Well, I tried. I really did. I read the first chapter and the first bit of the second, but the entire time, my face was just: o_o wut.

I didn't understand a lot of it, only because I'm not into hockey, nor do I find it particularly interesting.

But as for your writing, it wasn't unbearable. I kept looking for commas that should have been there and weren't, 'whole in the wall' should be 'hole-in-the-wall', and I'm not a fan of the first couple of paragraphs and how she jumps to 'That should be enough information to get you by for now. Back to the story now...' only because it makes the story seem very put-on, for lack of a better term.

Also, between dialogue and dialogue tags, use commas in place of periods to ensure that your readers know that the phrase is not over yet.

I think by continuing to write and study your grammar and usage, you will become a much better technical writer.

Good luck! <3

Just found this and love it!

i love the new chapter!!1

Jordan is such a sweetie, but I don't like Mike at all He's either got to shit or get off the pot, not keep stringing her along like this

Okay so I'm from England so I really have no idea about hockey or the Pittsburgh Penguins ahah, but your story seems sweet. I like your main character, but I have to agree with PinkiePromise. There are a few awkward phrases and paragraphs that could do with some editing. Other than that it seems like a good story and please keep writing because your writing will only improve as you go! :)

I love how you mix the MLB and the NHL. This is super original and not so much a fandom like other stories (mine included). There are a couple awkward sentences here and there in the chapter I read, but that happens. The mood is good, like the plotline. Keep up the hard work though because it looks good so far!

love the new chapter cant wait for more

That man doesn't deserve her.

Don't be sad about Jordan getting to play with his brother, they both want that. Be happy they are happy and continue writing. That's why it's Fan Fiction after all. :)

I always thought Jordan had a soft side under that shell And I love Monty Python, that sure sounds better than eating ice cream and watching a crappy movie by yourself

love the new chapter

Ugh, Jordan is such a douche, maybe one of his brothers ought to smack him upside the head