The Ideas of When - Comments

I like this. The idea is great. I love how you worded it in Chapter 1. Instead of calling it being a psychic per say, the psychiatrist called it 'intuition'. It sounded very professional.

And the suits. I like the suits.

this was wonderful, no criticism except for what YourHersheyKiss has said. i do enjoy the story line and creativity in this. great introduction :)

@ YourHersheyKiss
Thank you for the comment. I'm glad you like the summary. In the actual first chapter that I'm working on now it starts off with a vision. I'm glad you liked the introduction though :)

I adore the summary. It leaves the reader questioning. It’s good to have the reader want to find out more. So in the first chapter you jump straight into the fact that he has visions. It’s good; don’t get me wrong, but maybe if you started off with him having a vision. Like, he has the vision and then is jumps to reality. You don’t even have to explain that he had a vision. It’s okay for the reader to be confused. It adds to your story. It makes them want to figure out what is going on. With what you have now, I like how you explained when they started. Good job. Keep up the good work!

bfbcwejhqbvfrwejrhf. I love this to pieces. It flows so beautifully and you really know what you're talking about. And, the best part of it all, is that it's original fiction. There's never any good original fiction on this site. The idea seems so solid too, and I can't wait to read on. I'm subscribing and recommending. Plus, your theme is so simple. Almost everyone on this site, me included, seems to go over the top with their theme. But this is perfect and it goes so well with the story.

Wonderful job.

Hello, I'm from the Comment Swap.
First off, I love the layout. Usually I whine to people that their layout is tough to read but yours is simple and easy and I love the watch. I adore original fiction--especially when it has a touch of the otherworldly--and this one is fantastic. Your writing style flows nicely, but I feel like you had a bit of trouble writing about something meant to be off in the past. Maybe just check over your work, read it aloud, and make sure it sounds alright/you aren't reusing the same words or phrases.
The idea sounds absolutely wonderful. I'm really excited to read more!