Angels Born of Hell and Fire - Comments

I must say, I love the photos throughout the story, helps me picture the characters better. I also really like the layout, pretty cool. I also love how you describe items and surroundings. You're story is very original and interesting. Keep up the good work! :)

There are a few mistakes, but that's not a big deal.

This isn't something I would ordinarily read, if not for the Comment Swap, but it's an interesting plot. The chapters are a little long for my liking but the writing itself is commendable.

The atmosphere was dense and heavy, so dirtied with humidity, filth and dust that it might as well have been a solid thing.

This was a stunning description, and it shows your talent as a writer.

I had killed a man.

The blunt feeling here is so direct and shocking, it's very impressive writing.

Good luck with the rest of this!

I was brought here by the Comment swap, and I'm sorry I'm so late with my comment. I really like ( as far as it seems) the fact that you have a different banner for each chapter. I got a completely different feel from the introduction than I did the first chapter,which in a way, was good. The introduction left me very bored, but the first chapter sparked my interest. I noticed you have a few mistakes in the first chapter:

Anything pacific?

It should be specific. It wasn't the only mistake I noticed, but I decided to point that one out. I understand when writing a novel you're going for length, but I think chapter two is too lengthy. There's nothing wrong with it, but it is a daunting length for a reader.

I really like where you are going with this, I absolutely love it, just make sure you look back over your chapters before you publish, there were a few times when you used 'me' when you should have used 'my' or other simple things. There were a few other small things that should have been changed, and make sure you read over it, other than that I can't wait to read more! I love this story!

well this was very interesting and an addictive story.
I love your characters, they feel so real at times, I forget that they are fake.
Your plot is very promising, I love it. Also your title is very catching too. I haven't found much if any mistakes so that is a up.

I can't wait to read more

Despite my many qualms with your grammar, I am utterly addicted to this story! I've subscribed too! Your characters are brilliant - I love the enigma of Adam - and how they're so similar and so different at the same time. I love the ideas and how the plot goes on, and how everything is only revealed in small bursts. I just love it! Update soon?

This is really interesting and original. I do agree that there was a drastic difference in chapter 2. There probably still should be a little bit more seriousness to it, but you also have to keep in mind that they're probably in shock, so their brains probably would be trying to distract them a little from the situation. I'm sure there's a happy medium. You should probably read over it when it's all done, because there are a few grammar and spelling mistakes, but it's nothing huge. You used the wrong form of "your/you're" a couple times though, and that's a personal annoyance of mine.

I think that this is really great though and I'm still curious as to where it's all going, which is fantastic.

I was really impressed by the introduction and the fist chapter, but the style of the dialogue in chapter two was startlingly different; I have to say I thought it was a little too casual for their situation, especially compared to the previous chapter. Also, the seriousness of the situation was kind of lost when the focus switched to clothes rather than the danger of being kidnapped and purchased. That being said, I really adored the style of the first chapter and the premise for this story is unique and intriguing. I cant wait to see where this goes!

I love this. The whole plot line is really intriguing and I just had to keep reading till I was finished all seven chapters and I can't wait for more. There are a few errors in places, some yours when it should have been you're, or it could have been the other way round, i can't remember now,haha. But anyways,great job and I'll looking forward to the next chapter!

I really like your character Megan, I love your layout and the ideas you've put into this story. It drew me in at '... We shall win.' I really want to read more so if my internet will allow me I am going to recommend and subscribe! (I don't like giving out criticism whether it's constructive or just general. Sorry.)

Love this story, and especially the title! It's a very easy read, and flows fluidly from chapter to chapter. I would love more details in the two main characters, Jasper & Megan, but sometimes it's best to leave it up to the reader's imagination, which I can understand. I honestly thought I was beginning to read a Pirate story, and it's COMPLETELY went the opposite direction. The only thing that really bothered me was how easily the reverted back to normalcy when they were abducted and placed in the room before meeting their captor. They spoke like teenagers, acted like them, although they're in a place they've never seen/been/heard of. Although paranoid, I'd feel like the fear would still be deeply embedded within them, but that's just my opinion. Definitely subscribing :]

Okay, when I got to the end of the introduction I laughed. Not because something was funny, but the General Chaos reminded me of Butters from South Park. Anyway the story is very well written. No spelling mistakes! You're great at descriptions and I love the chapter picture!
Anyway I love stories like this! And its extremely hard to find good ones with good grammar and actual descriptions! *Huggles you* I shall subscribe to this!
Oh my gosh when Adam was touching them and calling them magnificent and stuff all I could think was "Dude Man's creepy,"

Okay, so your title is fucking awesome. So is your summary. It made me so pumped to read this story.
Your introduction is completely epic and I LOVE the language you use, it's so much fun and it makes it sounds all the more sophisticated.
You've got a great plot going, and I'm definitely recommending and subscribing!

Wow! I'm kinda glad I got this through comment swap! I wasn't sure if I was going to really be interested, but the first chapter had me intrigued and the second chapter even more so. That's all I've read, but I think I'm definitely going to read more. I'm really interested to see where this goes and I think you have a great story here so far.

(oops, sorry i pressed enter before i finished)

**i just love the way you make things feel. i've read so little of this and i've felt so much already. i can't wait to see where this goes, as soon as i finish this comment i'm going to dive straight back in. i love the layout too, by the way.

(oops, sorry i pressed enter before i finished)

**i just love the way you make things feel. i've read so little of this and i've felt so much already. i can't wait to see where this goes, as soon as i finish this comment i'm going to dive straight back in. i love the layout too, by the way.

this is really good so far. i've read a few chapters and i'm really impressed. the way you flow through the story is really great. i just love the way

This story is amazing so far, i really can't wait for the next update:)
Usually i'm not a big fan of 1st person stories as most phrases are overused and the thoughts seem unnatural but not in yours:D
Probably a few spelling mistakes but it made no difference:) Though it was a slow start it was still very interesting, i've got to thank comment swap for such an awesome recommendation!

*sits and waits happily with a box of popcorn*^w^
can't wait to see how the training goes:D

Ignore my last comment! It didn't have enough characters for the Comment Swap's approval and I'm more in depth with this one!

I found your story through Comment Swap as well, and wow! It drew me in right away. It's so interesting! I can't wait to see what happens next. Your characters and plot are great. The plot is perhaps not the most original (or my cup of tea for that matter), but it is definitely interesting enough to keep me into it! I noticed a lot of the other comments were on grammatical issues, but I didn't really notice anything major, so great job editing!

I found your story through Comment Swap as well, and wow! It drew me in right away. It's so interesting! I can't wait to see what happens next. Your characters and plot are great.