Welcome Home - Comments

Comment swap brought me here. I love love love Harry Potter fanfiction and after writing it for a few years myself I always like stumbling across one with great promise! You are extremely detailed and paint the picture in the readers mind as the story goes. By adding Ivy's sketch at the end you make the character ever more real with is always something I try to do myself! :) GREAT, FANTASTIC work and keep it up!

Comment swap time!!! I love it when a story is so detailed that I can actually imagine myself in it. You have a very fine eye for detail and your surroundings and I applaud you on that notion:) I also love well detailed characters. Its hard to imagine fictional people, like those in a story or book, but with you, its like I've seen a picture of them. I'm able to see their faces when I think of their names and I absolutely love that. This story is amazing. I wish my works were as beautiful and well written as yours.

Heeey(Comment Swap).

I usually don't read Harry-Potter fanfics, but this is pretty good. Your writing is really good, your descriptions and everything just fit the whole story perfectly. The dialogue parts make the story flow easier and all in all your story has potential :) Also love the layout and ADORE the banner :D

Keep this up ;)

Comment swap brought me here and I was excited to see a Harry Potter fan-fic. It's hard to find good ones, so I was hesitant at first. I'm glad I read it. it is truly amazing. I can't wait for more! I have to admit I was confused at first but once everything about their dad was explained I got it. You're a great writer! keep up the good work!

Comment Swap.
So I thought that your story is really good. Well written and organized, also your characters are well described something that I can’t do with mine. I always have trouble on this. Keep up the great writing and also if you have any writing tips I would appreciate it.

It's been a while since I read a Harry Potter fic! Maybe it's just my attention span but, though background is important, I do wish that the action was more immediate. It took a while for things to start picking up in this story. But you have a very lovely way of describing things and feelings and that made everything come to life =)

I am a huge Harry Potter fan, but for some reason I’ve never been interested in reading fan-fiction about it. That being said, I like the overall concept of the story and I really love the banner; it really describes the story in only four lines and it’s cute!

However, there are quite a few errors in grammar that can easily be fixed, so don’t worry too much. One thing is the punctuation at the end of quotation marks which she be a comma if you want to continue the sentence. For example: “She went to the store,” he said. You should also leave a space in between the end quote and the next word which is something you miss sometimes. Now whether you put the comma inside or outside the quotation mark depends on where you are from (which I’m guessing is somewhere U.K. based on the way you spell things.)

On the other hand, I think the chapters are nice and long which is refreshing! It’s also easy to read with regards to both the layout and the actual writing. Good luck with the rest of the story!

I got here because of comment swap. I have to ay, I am not a big fan of Harry Potter, which made this just a tiny bit hard for me. I read the first chapter and about half of the second one, but I really like it! I just don' find a lot of interest in the story itself, but...This is very well written, I hope you realize that. You have just the right amount of information described in the text, making it easy for the reader to understand your story. It's this kind of writing style that makes me want to read more, but unfortunately me and HP stuff don't get along well. Another thing I love is the banner! And how you introduce the character Ivy. You chose a great way to describe her!

Comment swapper.

So, first thing, your title. It doesn't follow the guidelines. Just shorten it to 'Welcome Home' and out the rest as the short description or this will be deleted, and I don't want to see that happen cause I kinda enjoyed this.

Second, read and reread your chapters before posting. I swear, you had a lot of spelling mistakes and grammatical errors. For example, its Gryffindor, not Gryffindore.

Your character and her brother seem slightly bipolar. They get along slightly at one point, then automatically, for no real reason (that you've mentioned) hate each other. I have siblings and to me that isn't realistic.

All of that being said, I did enjoy the length of the chapters and the layout. Some of your descriptions, like how she draws, are very real and are very very good.

All of that aside, I did enjoy this more than i will admit and I can't wait to see you post more. Just keep in mind what I and your other commenters say and please don't think of me as rude or a bitch.

I really enjoyed this, the chapters are long, sometimes it seems rushed so just slow down and let the story flow :) but great storyline

The layout and banner was nice, they fit perfectly together. I was actually impressed by the banner because it wasn't just a crappy bunch of pieces put together like you can see sometimes, so that is good.

I read the first chapter and you can see that there are a few grammar mistakes when it comes ti misspelling or the sentence just doesn't flow grammatically correct, but that can always be fixed if you just go back through and edit.

The only thing that bothered me about your character is that she's a little too perfect, you know? When creating your character, you kind of want to keep away from being absolutely perfect. Instead of being great at everything, which I read that she seems to be, only pick a few things that she's good at. Like, she's a good at drawing and into sports, but when it comes to other things she's a little worse at it. It gives Ivy more character.

As well-and this is just my opinion- I never really liked when the character came into the HP scene in the later years. I just don't think that any wizards or witches would go under the radar until they were older. But that's just me.

I really liked the layout! It's easy to read and fits the story:) Plot is awesome! Very well thought out and structured. I like Harry Potter os I was glad I got the story from comment swap.
There are a couple of grammar mistakes but nothing to bad. Good job!

Although I don't read too many stories on Harry Potter but I found your story really good. I thought it was really well written and I can see that you've put a lot of effort into it. I'm deffinetely giving this a chance and hopefully you update soon :D

I was sent here from comment swap, and the comment I'd like to make is more about the layout than the story... I like the banner at the top, it made me want to scroll down and read right away!
Okay, now my next point might be to do with layout or it's maybe just my computer as nobody else seems to have mentioned this problem, but some of the text is so far to the left it has 'fallen off' the edge of my screen. It's only a couple of letters that are missing so it's legible but it just makes it more difficult to read :)

From comment swap and I found your chapter very good. There were some mistakes like using a comma where you should have used a period or semicolon. Also, the dialogue seemed a little pushed. Like you knew exactly what you wanted the characters to say, but you didn't know how to make the conversation turn to what you wanted. But, I really like your main character and her calmness and subtleness, yet she has problems only a wizard would have. I think that your character would have fit in perfectly at Hogwarts in the original book series because everyone in that school has this unique thing about them and your character definitly had that.

Hey there, I love it! There are some spelling issues and please don't take offense at this but they might just be the result of living in different countries. The chapters seem forced, try to use detail to make it flow a little bit easier. You have some amazing detail in your chapter so keep up the good work:)

First I gotta say I love the banner picture you have with all the quotes, it caught my eye.
Now with your story, I've read a few harry potter fanfics, but this was pretty interesting.
I gotta say I love the somewhat big font, that was a nice easy read. I do like the build up of your character's backgrounds and such; also saying your use of descriptions and dialogue is very well mixed.

Also to point out I didn't see much grammar/spelling issues so your all good there.
I can't wait for an update. Great job.

xD,, thank you Dana.

LOL I'M A COMMENT

-from comment swap-
Okay, so this is actually really great! I don't read HP fan fictions, but I like this. As most others are saying, good character build up. I loved how you explained bit by bit about Ivy and who she was, where she lived, what she did, etc. so you have enough information to work with through the story. Other than that, you're gold. No grammar mistakes, no typos (that I caught) and really well description. Great job! Keep it up because this story is awesome :-)