Maid of the Wave - Comments

I love it so far! I'm afraid I was unable to finish it, the white font makes it hard for me to concentrate, but I love your story! I haven't read a lot of mermaid books, but I really like this one. If you want ideas on just little things to add to your story, I recommend reading The Deep series. I think you would enjoy it!

This was a super interesting story! I really enjoyed your voice in this, it's a writing style I don't often see and thought was well done for the most part. I would just take some time to thoroughly edit so that grammatical or punctuation errors don't take away from the story. Keep writing! Great job!

I love the originality of the story. Nothing marks a great story like one that is a new concept. The layout is lovely, even though it was a gift. As for the actual content of the story, you need to really sell your story. Make it more appealing, add detail and know when to skimp on other things. Your transitions of point of view are very good, so points for that. Some people can't handle more than one character focus. Also, make it realistic. Like when the characters are talking, use everyday words. It will help with catching a reader's attention. Don't forget character development as you go.

On a bright note:
I love your story and think it will make a great novel. Don't give up on your story and it won't give up on you.

Comment swap:

First of all, great idea for a story! This is actually my first time reading a mermaid based story on here actually. Starting with the layout, I love it! Not too flashy or overdone, it fits the fantasy theme of mermaids just right. Now to the actual story, you have a great idea in mind. I feel like you just need to work on catching the readers attention just a bit more. Maybe include more details that help us visualize things better. Since it is a fantasy theme and underwater at that, visualizing is super important. Giving good descriptive words is what makes the difference between making it feel like we're on land or in water, ya know? So keep at it. Great plot, just needs some work!

Comment swap:

I don't normally look to reading stories like this however it peaked my attention when I found out it was about mermaids.

It's quite well written although I feel you need some more to keep your readers interested it didn't grip me completely like some other stories I've read. I feel it has the potential to be exceptional if you give more details to attract the reader!

Comment Swap

I usually am not one to like fantasy stories, but I liked how the beginning of this story seemed more like a drabble feel at the beginning of this story. I, however, did not feel there was enough detail to wrap me into the story in the beginning. I would say maybe include some more description in your first couple paragraphs that immediately put your reader into the story. I also thought having the same banner as your background was a bit distracting for me honestly because I kind of wanted to see some different colors to adjust my eyes to the harsh blue of the image. Overall, I would say that while this story does need some work I do like the set-up of it. I wish you the best! Sorry if I sounded harsh.

The layout matches beautifully with your creative story. I love mermaids, I love kings and queens and all that jazz. This story is great!

Though I'm not a fan of the form you have written it in, i love the characters and their personalities and their names are cool :3

The layout matches beautifully with your creative story. I love mermaids, I love kings and queens and all that jazz. This story is great!

Though I'm not a fan of the form you have written it in, i love the characters and their personalities and their names are cool :3

The layout matches beautifully with your creative story. I love mermaids, I love kings and queens and all that jazz. This story is great!

Though I'm not a fan of the form you have written it in, i love the characters and their personalities and their names are cool :3

I love it!!! Please read my story "Three Months of Hell".

I really liked the idea of your story even since the first description. It intrigued me and made me want to read more, which is what I like. and what I look for in a story. I liked the unique way you used mermaids and described them and what their culture is like. It is very unique and refreshing to see something like this.

I just read the first chapter and I'm already loving it a lot.

I cannot believe Vertillo did that!

I was brought here by comment swap and I have to say I'm glad I was. When I saw it was about mermaids, I immediately thought of Ariel and I had to read it because my little cousin loves her.

But your story is so unique, it's captured my attention for sure.

Brilliant job though. :)

Ooh, a story about mermaids, how neat. I can honestly say I've never read one about them before.
I like your layout, it's simple, and makes the story easy to read.

I like what you've written. My only thing is that you may want to space out your paragraphs, but I haven't seen any spelling/grammar mistakes. I love how this has a fairytale vibe to it.

Good job, I think you've done great with what you've written so far.

Comment swap!

So far, I really like what you've written. I did notice another comment about the layout, and so I feel obligated to say that I really like it; it's effective and very clearly relates to the story. As for the story itself, it's well-written. The beginning stands out in particular; it's got a very fairytale-esque vibe, and I'm interested to see if you carry through with that tone to your writing. Awesome, awesome job. Keep it up. B)

Here from Comment Swap.

Can I just say that if my comment comes across as mean, I am sorry. I don't mean to single you out and go harsh on your story, it's just constructive criticism.
To me, the layout is a little boring. I know the classic black background and white writing is easy, but it just isn't interesting enough for me. Plus you could use to different pictures in the background, the banner and the background being the same is a little lazy. I like your characters though, they are likable and the way they communicate with each other is not forced or natural. I think Heidi is my favourite. I noticed a few little mistakes in there, grammar and spelling wise, but they're not coming up in every second sentence, so don't worry! I think the way you've written this is nice, it's magical almost, you make everything seem realistic too. I wish you the best of luck with this story. :)

(I made the layout) ;)

Comment Swap lead me here.

I have to say, this is definitely not a story I would have considered reading on my own. I do enjoy fantastical stories, however I'm not big on mermaids.

Albeit this, I have to congratulate you on your amazing plot. It definitely opened my eyes to a new world, the merpeople's world. Great stuff, keep it up!

Comment Swap~
This sort of story is not the kind I'd usually read, but you're very good at writing. The plot is original and well-thought out, and the main character is likable. I love the layout, it's gorgeous. c:
So all in all this is a great story keep writing!

I had to comment swap on this a month or so ago, and I have to say it improved a lot. Since I already read the first couple chapters, I somewhat skimmed, but I didn't notice any errors. I had a problem with your layout before, the text was hard to read some areas because of the background, but you changed it and it looks great c: However, I still just can't get into the story sadly...I guess mermaid stories just aren't my thing. But that doesn't mean this isn't a good story. It's actually very original. There's people out there who will love and appreciate this story so continue!

I had to comment swap on this a month or so ago, and I have to say it improved a lot. Since I already read the first couple chapters, I somewhat skimmed, but I didn't notice any errors. I had a problem with your layout before, the text was hard to read some areas because of the background, but you changed it and it looks great c: However, I still just can't get into the story sadly...I guess mermaid stories just aren't my thing. But that doesn't mean this isn't a good story. It's actually very original. There's people out there who will love and appreciate this story so continue!