Maid of the Wave - Comments

I was brought here by comment swap, and while I must admit I'm not really in to mermaids, you do have an excellent writing style. Your use of words is varied and you're very descriptive, as well. Just watch that you're putting each line of dialogue on a separate line if it's said by someone else. You're idea is very original and I hope you continue with it.

I really like how original your idea is. Also, mermaid stories rock. You might want to watch your paragraphing, it's a bit inconsistent (ie, chapter 5). That's a formatting thing, though.

I like the character of Prince Cornelius. He's not typical in the slightest, which is very refreshing.

I’m just here from comment swap, and I’m glad it brought me here. So far this is one of the most original stories I’ve found on the internet although I am biased since I’m a big mermaid fan. I really like your writing style for this piece. It’s conversational in a way so it feels like being tucked in bed and being read a bed time story without being juvenile. I really like the world building. You managed to give a sense of a rich culture and revealing what’s necessary at the moment—and you’re doing it without infodump-ing all over the place or being patronizing. It’s a very natural, sort of normal conversation between the three friends. The relationship between the characters is great. And it’s just the first chapter, but I’m already intrigued about how the rest of the story is going to go.
My only nitpick is sometimes you don’t put a full space between paragraphs which can make reading a little jumbled for me and sometimes the writing feels a little redundant at times, but other than that I think this is a great story, and I’ll be interested to actually read more.

This feels like fate, or destiny, or something. Because the story I asked for a comment swap on had a main character named Claire, and here is a story about another Claire. :D I am kind of getting excited about this; it's kind of embarrassing. xD

First of all, I would like to say that your writing is very magical. It's a style that reminds me of fairy tales, fantasy stories, and other magical things like that. And along with being magical, it flows beautifully. Usually I don't read fantasy stories on Mibba, because they manage to fail almost every single time (or at least the ones I've stumbled across 'cause I have horrible luck), but this one is good.

The only two mermaids who ever talked to her (aside from her guardians) were two other little girls who decided then and there that being outcasts wasn't as bad as being cruel. I'll be right back, I'm dying from their cuteness right now. Ahh, so nice. x]

I love it. You have an amazing imagination.

Hello, it'sme from comment swap again! I can't believe Mibba sent me her for the third Time!

You have a unique topic. I haven't read much about marine animals or animals in general. Nice Job.

Your layout matches perfectly with your story (hence the mermaid). I'm glad you did your research before writing this. Most people wouldn't have and would have gone with what they know. That was very smart of you.

I think the lettering should be a bit bigger, I had trouble reading it.

I have really fallen in love with this story even if animals are not my thing. Awsome job and keep writing!

Found this through comment swap.

The idea is quite original and not at all overdone like many other, this is what makes me like it so much. It's really well written and so interesting that its hard to look away. Well done.

Don't you agree the layout looks nice? (hahaha)
The story is good too! ;P

This is magical, oh my god. I love it so much. I've always been obsessed with mermaids, and I kind of always thought I was one because I love to swim so much. But this is just too much. It's perfect. Your imagination is incredible my friend, I'm impressed. You've got yourself a new subscriber!

Hii, I'm a comment swapper.

Straight off, the concept for this is quite unusual and I havent read a mermaid story before! Your writing style is easy to follow and I cant really find any errors.
Your layout however is blinding me xD It makes it hard to read and concentrate on the words, the blue against the black is perhaps too harsh?

Good luck with your writing however :)

I really like this story. I have seen a couple of spelling mistakes so far but not a whole bunch. In chapter four, the word "onner" should be spelled "honor" and the word "clique" means like a social group, it should be "cliche" instead. Other than those two words, I haven't found any others. I really enjoy this story!

Okay honestly when I started reading this I had no intention of reading past the first chapter, because well mermaids aren't really my thing but oh my god I have to know when happens.

I really like your writing style :) But it's kind of hard to read at the bottom where the mermaid is as the writing mixes in with the background, other than that it' amazing! :D

[comment swap]
Mermaid story really caught my eye :o
I love the layout. Except the area where the mermaid is on the bottom, its a little hard to read the text >.< Now to the story.
No grammar mistakes. I loved the descriptions you gave and the beginning was great! I loved the way you opened it. Unfortunately though, I just can't get into the story. Maybe its just not for me. Because I honestly think it has good potential. So keep it going!

I found this through comment swap

I don't read this type of thing at all and it doesn't interest me. Your story is very unigue and interesting but to be honest I didn't really like it. Don't take this the wrong way though. Your writing is beautiful and I found few grammatical mistakes but I found it very hard to get into it.

Carry on Writing :3

I find this story really good, and I always love a good fantasy story. Your grammar is really good, and I love your style of writing. The only thing I probably don't like is the layout, but I'm rather picky on those type of things. Of course, I am go to subscribe, so I can read more.

-Discovered on comment swap-

Okay, this isn't the type of thing that I really enjoy reading so I only read the first couple of chapters. The premise of the story is really unique and isn't at all cliché in the 'mermaid rebelling against her parents' type of thing. The fact that she was banished because of the color of her tail proves that. I like your writing style and I found very few grammatical mistakes.

Wow, ermaid story; what a change of pace! I love fantastical stories, and mermaids definitely fit in that category. I love the plot, her being banished and all, and how Claire's character's been developed. I like that her friends stuck by her despite her being hated, pre-banishing. Despite being a fantasy, it's still believable, as far as personalities go. I only picked up on a few grammatical mistakes, like the odd typo and missing word which are easily fixable and everyone makes them. I do have to mention that when the picture in the layout came behind the text, it did make it difficult to read; I had to highlight the text. Other than that, it's a really good read :)

Every time I get a new story from Comment Swap, I am floored with what I read. Your story is no exception. Before comment swap I was always given stories that looked like they've been written by a 12 year old. Now, I'm happy to find stories like yours where you can actually understand what is being read.

I applaud you on your exquisite story and yes, I've subscribed so I can continue to read more. Brilliant word play and descriptions too! Love all your characters.

Oh my gosh, so I've always wanted to read a mermaid story, but not like a cliche type of one, you know?
So when comment swap gave me this one, I was excited, and then I read the summary and sounded different. Which is good in my book.

I really like the explanation in the beginning about the different gifts mermaids have, and it's really what I would imagine a mermaid to have. Pretty much, you explain everything, and that makes sure readers don't get lost.

The only thing I'm having trouble with is the format of the dialogue, it's all bunched up with the description. And also, the layout makes it a little hard to read, and the picture is somewhat distracting. But those can easily be fixed, so don't worry.

Anywho, keep up the good work.
:)

So when the comment swap gave me this story, I can't say I was incredibly excited about it. I've never been a huge fan of fantasy stories and mermaids seemed a little odd to me. But I started reading it and oh my goodness, it was really interesting! I really like your plot, it's definitely different than anything I've read before. I only read the fist two chapters, but it's definitely interesting so far.

The first thing I noticed was the layout, which I wasn't a big fan of. I dislike black backgrounds, because it makes it hard to read the story without my eyes going all funny. I wasn't a huge fan of the picture either, it blocked a bit of the words in parts. I like the idea you were going for, but I wasn't a fan of the layout as a whole.

I really like the descriptions you have in the chapters, but you're missing punctuation in quite few places. There was a lot of run-on sentences, and adding a comma in there, or even making some of them two separate sentence will help with that. The flow of some of them was also a bit awkward. I think you just have to read over the story and you'll see what I mean :)

Overall this is a very unique and interesting story! Good job with what you have so far and good luck with the rest of it!

Honestly, if I were a mermaid I'd want a purple tail :p that's my favorite color! The color of royalty:)

Anyway, I love mermaid stories, and this is probably the most original idea I've seen thus far involving mermaids. Claire's character is so sweet and nice, despite being rejecting by so many since so early in her life. Now that she's being banished, I'm curious to see how her life is going to be with all the other purple tailed mermaids. And what of Heidi and Naomi?? I'm so curious.

This is very good so far, and I can't wait to read more of this!!