Hate You Forever - Comments

what the... ok... officially intrigued can't wait to see what happens next.

I bet it's Nealer I can sense it:) haha Great chapter! Can't wait for more:)

It better be tanger. Cause i'm not sure what I will do if its Nealer, i don't remember them interacting. But still I love that you've slowed it down and they are hating each other and he's trying the whole trophy wife thing by having aubrey with him. I really hope Jordan and his intuition work for the best.

I was really hoping that Sid and Jess would have a blow up over Avery but then work things out.

I really cant see Avery lasting too long - although she seems like a master manipulator.

i loved this update so much! can't wait to find out who it is!!

oh no Aubrey go away :(( I want to see more Sidney and Jess. Can't wait for more:)

UGH! MAKE AUBREY GO AWAY!!!!!

It's funny because it's true. Everyone, especially Americans, like to sing O Canada while drunk. It just sort of happens. Lol

Aww I kinda feel bad for him :( I mean he had his teammate dress him for God sec. I loved the update and like a crack junkie I want more LOL.

Ugh, I hope Sid has more sense than to hook up with Audrey

LOL I think I really like this story or your writing because, I went to your page to read more of your stories till you update this one and, sadly found this is your only story :(... So please update soon.

I was sent here by comment swap. I love your story so much. I don't normally read this kinda of fanfiction because, I don't know anything about hocky but, I love the way this is done . You have kept me wanting more for each chapter. Please update soon. :-)

i really love this story! update soon!!

Ok, I have to say this isn’t the sort of story I would normally read but honestly I’m intrigued! I really love the originality of this story, hockey fanfics are a lot less overdone than others and your original characters have a bit of an actual edge to them too which is really refreshing! Nothing worse than a Mary Sue!
But Sidney and Jess are both complicated and imperfect and human and I love them!
I also love the maturity of the narrator. There’s so much over the top melodramatic angst on this site, it’s really nice to see emotion being done well. The whole thing is just more realistic and plausible than most stories here.
The only criticism I have, and it’s really a TINY one, is that the storyline seems kinda predictable at the moment BUT even that’s completely unfair of me because it’s not that far in and your still developing all the characters and everything. That’s me really struggling to try and find something constructive criticismy to say so I’m not just gushing – and its hard to find something negative to say about this story! =P
This story kind of opened my eyes to the amount of stuff that’s on mibba besides the usual stuff I read all the time to the point that it’s getting boring.

Comment Swap Comment. But I am a huge hockey fan and from Western Pa, so inevitably a Penguins fan. And I have to say even though I’m probably only four hundred words into this story, but I like your Sid characterization already. Normally, I end up reading Sid Crosby fic, and they paint him like he’s Jesus on ice. So I like that you played up some of his flaws and his hypercriticism.

Continuing on . . .

I really like your dialogue. It’s fun, breezy, and feels natural. It’s also doing a great job of revealing exposition and relationships.

In chapter two, I really love the opening up and description of Jess. It’s a little self-deprecating and is just wonderfully portrayed all together. “She’s maybe as tall as a trophy, but no trophy wife” might be some of the best characterization I’ve read on mibba thus far.

Nitpicks?

Switching back and forth between the third-person limited is fine, but I feel like you flip between the two of them a lot and with little warning. A few transition words, some asterixes or other page divider might make things a little more cohesive and simpler to follow.
Your sexual tension is great, but I thought her feelings changed fast enough to give me whiplash but if I assume that’s just thanks to the booze?

It's a really good story, an I hope you keep working on it. It'll be interesting to see where it goes.

ooooooooo:3 I can't wait to see what happens on their date! :)

Wow, the sexual tension in that chapter was hot, lucky Geno

I love the sexual tension between them, can't wait to read more.

Oh la la! It will be interesting to see how they act towards each other now that THAT happened.

Well I certainly didn't see /that/ coming