What's funny to me is that I just started reading Desirably Hateful just for fun, and now I'm being told to read this for comment swap. What a coincidence :D
Anyways....
One suggestion I have for you is to really add depth to your setting description. You've done marvelously at describing the setting around the dramatic action, but now I want to get a feel for the setting that has nothing to do with what the kid is doing. For instance, can he hear an AC unit running? Is there a special meal for lunch that he can smell. It has nothing to do with the storyline, but it will bring your reader right up to the scene and see what your character is seeing - feel what he's feeling - so much better.
Also, insignificant details can sometimes be the best. Something that doesn't seem useful can really add to a story and throw your reader into the character's life. For instance, if there are little plaques saying the letter for the different wings: A, B, C, D, etc. Describing how the sunlight from outside was shining on one of them, and it was a gold plaque that refracted the sunlight into your eyes brightly. Completely useless information, but if you describe it well enough, it can really ground your reader in the actions your character is taking. Also, you could have the character do an action that doesn't help or hurt the plot line at all, like feeling over the ridges of one of the plaques. Doesn't do anything, but you can really add in the sense of touch when you do that.
Just a few suggestions. Keep up the good work and I'll go back to reading Desirably Hateful ^_^;
Hey, Iv just spent the whole day reading this whole series from the beginning, its amazing, I love Joel more than Mitch cause hes adorable but Mitch makes me smile :) I dont like the fact that we wont be hearing from them again, I would like to see what happens with them and Ali, Ill miss them alot :/ I would love to find out if this is the same brother that got chopped to bits (he obviously didnt if it is) or if its another brother we're yet to hear about, also I wanted to see if Joel's dad made another appearance ever, this is a very shit comment I know but holy shit you are a good writer! Seriously I love this series, but I miss Joel + Mitch already D': xx
Holy cow! So is this the little brother that Joel thought was dead? Was he abused by Joel's mom? Wow. Oh my goodness my mind is trying to wrap around it. Wow.
Oh my gosh, you are such a fabulous writer, honestly. You're so talented, and your writing is just amazing, especially recently. This chapter really highlights it, I think. :3
Parker seems so cute, in that sort of sympathetic, heartstring pulling sort of way. He's a lot different than your usual characters but I think it's really cool that he's something different, and the sort of timid mousy sort of guy, you pull it off really well! It breaks my heart a little, especially the end of the chapter. Hahaha, he's just someone I wanna scoop up in a hug. xD He seems a little... scared of touch though, which is actually really interesting. I'm definitely excited to see what was up with that, maybe someone to do with his real parents or previous foster homes or shelter... gah so many questions, I can't wait to read more! I'm so excited for this story! ^^