Concerning the Young Man in the Woods... - Comments

Hello I'm from comment swap.
First off, I have no clue what fandom this is but I stuck it out nonetheless. Anyways, this is really good and I like the whole journal format. It's not commonly seen on here so props for being original! I like this so far and I really think it's got potential. You're a great writer, so keep it up!

-Jess xx

@ mazohyst
not expecting what :3?
You can PM me, as to not spoil =P

Oh my goodness, I was not expecting that.

@ Everybody Dies;
Oh, thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you!
That's very good advice!
Ya see, I was having trouble with the description, mainly because I didn't want to over dramatize or anything, thus scaring people away ^_^;

as for the commas...yeah...I admit to that...
I blame how, when I was in middle school, I got a LOT of points off for not having commas where they "needed" to be so, I've been a little commaholic since then...
think they have a hot-line for that?

Anyway, I'm gonna try and break that habit, thanks for helping me notice ^_^

In conclusion, thanks for the in depth comment, I'll definitely keep going n_n~*

Comment swap sent me here.

I haven't a clue what fandom this is from, so I'm just going to be reading as an original fiction. Your layout is simple, but I quite like it. Your summary is, if you don't mind me saying, a bit naff though, I'd have a look at that.

And onto the story itself! I nearly freaked when I saw the description for the first chapter, I thought you had used a chapter as an authors note, and my inner Mibba rule-abiding side was about to scold you something awful, haha! The first sentence confuses me a bit, I don't know whether it's badly structured or not. I think (don't quote me on this) but the comma after 'care' should probably be removed in order for the sentence to read more easily. I've noticed you are a little bit comma-happy in the following sentences as well, so I'd suggest looking at those. Reading your sentences out and elongating the pauses where you have commas is always something I find works. Read your sentence aloud as you've written it, and then decide whether it sounds right. You can always go back and add things back in later.

I absolutely love the way you've set his out in a journal format; it isn't something I see very often, and it works really well for your story! You pour so much heart into your writing, your descriptions, as Yzma said, are extremely rich, and lovely to read. And, call me a weirdo, but I absolutely adore how you have her talking to the journal as if it's an actual person. I don't even know why, it's so fabulous! You've got a really interesting idea going on here, not something I'd usually read, but keep it up! You're doing a fab job! :)

@ ClockStopper-
Hetaoni is an AoOni "parody" (and I put extreme emphasis on those quotations there) that can be found in its entirety on Youtube, subtitled by SotetAg
You can also download an in-progress English version by Piano Dream on DeviantArt n_n
There's also a page for it on TvTropes.

Anyway, thanks, I'm glad you liked it ^_^

Helllo I'm from comment swap. I've seen a bit of Hetalia. By that I mean I watched a ton of it last summer. I haven't seen it since so I'm a little lost at hetaloni was. You story however is interesting. Your writing is good as well. Good luck with story, and your future ones!

Sent her from comment swap.
I love your description of things, it's so rich and and exact, I just love it! Everything written feels really personal and I like that. It feels like I'm involved in someone's life.

Anyway, good luck with your story! Never give up writing, you have so much talent!

@ mazohyst
okay then, thanks :D

@ MysticSongbird
I would say it's a forgivable fail. XD I don't know, when it comes to writing, take everything I say with a grain of salt.

@ mazohyst
eh, I tried XP
I guess it is kinda fail but, is it a forgivable fail?
Every story fails at some point, but, the difference is if those fails are able to be forgiven or not XP

@ MysticSongbird
I don't know, it's kinda repetitive kind of? I'm not really sure how you could do it really. DX

@ mazohyst
How else would I do it? I mean, if a journal weren't the framing device XP
and, yes. Cliffhangers. I do it because I like watching you freak out >:D
and, is that a good thing? Eh, I dunno...it is a fan-fic, after all =P

Oh, I'm starting to feel the Hetalia kicking in. And gdi Mystic, cliffhangers?? Why must you do this to me? I wish the sketches of each of the people were described in a different way but it's a journal so I can't really complain. XD

@ xMidnightxVampx
really? well, gosh...thanks ^_^; I'll be sure to upload the rest soon.

Sent here from comment swap

You have a amazing way with words. This really feels like I'm reading a small part of someone's life. Great atmosphere, and rich description.

Nice, very nice.

@ WeHaveAHulk
Thank you~

Sent here from Comment Swap

I simply loved what you have written so far, I read it as if it was an original story because I have no idea about what this is based around. I found a few punctuations and spelling errors but everyone makes a mistake.

Keep writing and good luck

@ mazohyst
Thank you~

I think all of my comments on this story from now on will be less constructive. XD I recognized the lampshading. I feel proud of myself. I'm really interested in seeing what's going to happen!