Would You Bargain With Hell? - Comments

I like the idea, but (please do not take offense to this) but it was a bit too predictable. But maybe that's just me, because I've read a lot of stories similar to this. I love your diction, but sometimes the words get jumbled together and you didn't put commas or periods where they were supposed to say. I like the relationship forming between Mason and Rayder.

@ Hana_Hitachiin :3

you'll see my love, and thanks again for commenting.
:3

I say marry Patrick. Mason will fade from her thoughts one day, running away is dangerous and I am pretty sure Patrick and Grace would find her. No suicide at least for the sake of her dead father.

Don't worry, I feel the same way and like no one ever comments on my stuff

@ Hana_Hitachiin :3
lol, I definetly considered that storyline, but had to go for the cliche.
I appreciate your comment X)
I get really conflicted when no one comments, because I imagine they all grew to hate it.

I sort of wanted her to marry Patrick lol I see M is back so things are about to get interesting

@ Star Angel
I Will try darling <3

update soon please

update soon please

Nice story

@ Star Angel
There will (with all hope) be a QUALITY update tomorrow. I hope you all will like it. Really glad you like it though!!!

love this so much i want her to be with her boy update soon please

@ WhoAreYouJudy
I'm glad you're into the story! I'll try my best :) Don't mean to make you sad.

@ WhoAreYouJudy
I'm glad you're into the story! I'll try my best :) Don't mean to make you sad.

I'm pretty into this story! BUT STOP MAKING HER RUN AWAY :( It makes me sad:(

@ MadamnnnMisfortune
Thanks, i know the chapters seem rushed, because its a first draft. And when i write first drafts top prioirty is to write a novel. In the second draft i add the description and stuff :)

I really enjoy your use of vocabulary in your descriptions. It paints a realistic picture but it really emphasizes the world she lives in and her spin on it. The plot is interesting for young audience. So keep on(: all I could say is take your time don't rush to finish a chapter. Describe Describe Describe. Unless you don't like to use adjectives some authors don't. (:

@ fearless-forever
;) only one way to find out. :3