Sinister Eyes - Comments

this is good. like really really good. right from the beginning you gave a great description of most of the characters. I can see them all perfectly, each one is unique. Also, I haven't heard of any books with a plot like this. It's very interesting and I can't wait to read more. I'm in a military program, and I like how you showed that when these people give an order, you follow it. That part is very realistic. All in all, this book is amazing. alright, bye c:

@ nostalgicnaga
Glad to see your really enjoying the story! :)

that cross wit.h wings tattoo, so many secrets already..

i just started chapter 1 and this is sick! I can't wait to continue reading. This isn't like anything i've ever read too legit dude!

@ talullah
Yeah the forest part in this story is really identical to the Hunger Games which kinda made me feel like oh...lol. Glad you liked it though! They'll be a lot to this story so hope you stick around! :) Thank you!

@ Tipsy
That was probably the most amazing comment I read :) Glad you enjoyed it! Trust me, you'll be seeing Susan and Lawrence a lot in the story. Hope you stick around till the end! Again thank you! :)

Comment swappy swappy! I honestly wouldn't have chosen this story for myself but was really glad I got it! I adore Caro and hope Rayson and Elaine get together ;) ;) It kind of reminds me of the Hunger Games, but I really like the whole academy/war background. Would lovelove to hear more about the war :)

Hello there! Comment Swap brought me here and I’m glad it did! I think this is an amazing story. My first time reading something related to war, so I hope you won’t drop it and continue the brilliant work! The first chapter was impressive, and I like Rayson’s character. Ally was fine as well, but I simple LOVED Susan and Lawrence! I hope they’ll be main character in the story, as well. The layout was readable, so no problem there. It was simple and army-like, so I’m okay with that. Update soon! I will definitely be a supporting reader! Good luck with this, it’s going quite well! (:

@ xXSainXx
No problem :) :) :)

@ MissAwkward
Thank you for reading it! :) I'm actually really dedicated to finishing this. I have did a good share of planning this story out and I hope I do get to publish it one day. :P I liked the pattern to xD Wasn't sure if it was a right pattern to go with the whole story but it seemed to go in my taste. Again thanks! :)

Comment swapy :P :P :P Wuddup... let me tell you, I have always wanted to write a story that had to do with war and what not...but I ALWAYS would loose interest...so I write about love...because well...love is endless.. lol anyway I like how you hav'nt lost intrest and hopefully wont because this tory it actually pretty good :D P.S i love the pattern in the background >.<

Write more, more often >_> cant belive I like this a lot...lol

Nice story :) I like like the idea.
I've noticed a few grammatical errors, but if you've read any of my stories you will see that mine are full of them :P
There were a few sentences that ran on and confused me a little bit, but over all it was a good start of a story :) great job!

So I figured I'd return the favor of commenting. :) I really love this, which is kind of bizarre for me. Although my nickname is Ally and my personality is alot like the character Ally. :) I def can't wait to see what happens in the forest!

This is really good for being your first story! The summary is much better! The layout too is already better. The first chapter is so catching and really makes you exited for the next chapters to come! Can't wait for more!

Much better summary! Perfect amount of info.

Comment Swapper!

Alright! I love how thus begins! It just catches me right away. It felt to me that he was on a mission to, I don't know, take down a Elthian leader, or something. That loyalty test is awful! I don't think I could do it! I like how when he looks at his reflection he never says he sees himself, it's always "I see a teen.." or "I see a man.." It makes me think that he doesn't really feel himself. Saying, "It looks more worse!" when Ally sees Rayson is not correct. Just get rid of the more, and you will be good. "Lets go ask them if their okay." Their should be they're. "I'll get one to." To should be too. I do like the story, and think it's pretty sell written. I am not crazy about the whole violence thing, but that's just me. I feel you have an interesting plot going on. Definitely make the summary less of a complete summary because you want some suspense there. Overall it was pretty good, not the story for me, but if it was, I would definitely read it!

The story plot is so interesting and original.
Your spelling and grammar is flawless and I can't find a single mistake.
I really enjoy this story and I can't wait to see what happens next!
The only thing I would reccomend would be a new layout perhaps?
I also think your summary gives too much away, a little bit of suspense is always good.

Hey, comment swapper - first off I think your summary is a bit long, and perhaps gives too much away? It would be nice to see how damaged he is from his friends death than to simply he told.
Your layout is okay and I see you are not finished, my main issue if the colour of the text against the harsh white cause it irritates my eyes a bit. The story itself is an interesting concept and not something you find a lot and the writing is easy to follow with nice description :)
Good luck with your writing, I see potential

COMMENT SWAP HERE! C:
Well, first off, since this your first story, I'll shoot you some pointers. Your layout's readable, but just because it's readable doesn't make it aesthetically appealing, and by that I mean, it's not so easy on the eyes. Some people are more attracted to a story when the layout looks like a lot of effort was put into it. And I get that it's hard, because the new layout maker can be kind of tricky, but once you get used to it, it's not so difficult. There are some syntax issues, but with a little bit of work and tlc, I'm sure this story'll be really awesome. It has potential!