Kiss of Death - Comments

I read the first chapter of this and asdfghjkl; whoa man just.

The layout is just. Incredible, amazing, every positive adjective in the book! It's just so pretty!

Your writing is so beautiful, and perfect, and I love it. I love this so much! You. Just. Omfg.

Happy (late) Halloween btw!

Woah. I usually don't like layouts with backgrounds like that, or banners where things have been placed in and are obviously edited, but yours just works! It's so nice! The summary is to the point, which is good because most HG fics I've seen have long, boring summaries.

I honestly don't know how to give this a proper review because I didn't find anything to be wrong with it! The way you write is very lovely, and I found the story to flow at a good pace. It's really nice to see characters that aren't from the original story, as nearly all of the other stories are.

I only wish I was more into the Hunger Games so I could say I'm subscribing to this, but since it's so good, I'll recommend it so maybe other people can find it and you'll have more readers(: Keep up the good work!

Layout I like it, its slick and simple and the color is very pretty

So when I seen this was a hunger games fic I was expecting it to be about charecters we already knew and I have to say I’m glad its not

I like how you show Scout wants to be more then what a typical girl does in her district I like that a lot, what I don’t like is her boyfriend is sexist and mean, and her dad seems maybe to just be tired of trying to show her..

I like Reed he seems like a good kid, obviously he’s good at what he does, I cant wait to see more…

I hated chapter 2, you made me feel sad very sad and it wasn’t for Scout it was for Maven how could you do that to her huh? I just ugh I am not happy at all..

I like how Scout lashed out at Reed in front of everyone, I cant help but feel she feels some sort of affection for this boy though and I’m wondering if through the games we’re going to see it..

I like Reed, I think it was very brave of him to take up and go in place of a smaller younger kid I just cant help but like this guy please don’t make him an ass hole or worse kill him…

I still don’t like Ash something tells me he’s not going to wait on her like he says he will I don’t know why I just get a bad feeling when it comes to him..

I’m not a very big fan of chapter three, I’m not sure why I just didn’t care much for the chick who called their names and stuff she reminds me a lot of Effie though so maybe that’s why, I do like the mentors though, the one with no emotion I’m curious as to why she’s like that..

Honestly I’m curious with this whole story mostly why there are only three chapters??? Secondly why I agreed to read it when there are only three chapters??

You’re writing as I’ve told you before is amazing, and its no different with this story, your take so fare on what happens before the game and during the ride well I enjoy that a lot as well, I like how you even chose a district that wasn’t very popular when you could have went with so many…

All in all I’m hooked and have a feeling I’ll be harassing you to update this story frequentally, as I do your other story, I’m glad you don’t seem to mind being harassed :P

Much <3 Kat

Chapter One:
Okay, so I already knew it was going to be brilliant because of the summary. and the background, and well... it's you! I think that Ash and Scout are really cute and I like that he was able to lighten her mood, because it shows a lot about their relationship. Her dad kind of irked me at the end because if she gets picked for the games, the he'll have wished he'd taught her a bit about axes and whatnot. My only concrit so far is the paragraphing. A lot of the paragraphs are really small apposed to being quite varied in length. It's just this really weird thing I have about paragraphing, and doesn't make the story any less brilliant.

Chapter Two:
Oh no, I feel so sorry for the characters. I got to the end of the chapter thinking, "that's it? No! This chapter should be longer." I'm really begining to get into the story and I'm so shocked. I didn't even guess that Reed would volunteer himself. It's made me fall in love with his character, as I'm assuming he's only volunteered so that he can make sure she wins it.

Chapter Three:
Well, Brash is certainly a fitting surname, Alder! He seems quite cold at the moment (I'm only at his introduction). Please get an update up soon because I can't handle how superb this story is. I just want to keep reading. I don't think that I'll ever like a character as much as Reed. Scout's a close second. Amazing characterisation - it's definitely the strongest part of the story so far.

I don't know why, but I like Kari, and Alder doesn't seem too bad either. :)
But Geneva can just die. xD
I wonder what Reed is planning?
Great chapter! Can't wait for the next one! :)

Really like it, your characters are very interesting and the storyline looks really cool. I wonder what they'll be dressed as... :)

This is an interesting piece. I like that fact that you gave Scout a boyfriend and how she reacted so calmly to her fathers impatience. The characters seem like they'll really develop in further chapters and I'm not a Hunger Games fan but fan fiction didn't require much knowledge on my part. Really nice. The only thing I'd suggest is not starting off a whole bunch of your sentences with character names. Maybe try reworking some your sentences so some of the names come just a bit later one. The repetition was a bit confusing for me; otherwise, you have a very point blank writing style that gives it how it is. I really admire this sort of writing, because mine feels so far from it and there are days I wish I could write like that. Awesome job on chapter one, however. c:

Delivery of your sweetie:

This is a fandom I tend to generally stay away from because I attempted to read one story from it before but found it was basically Katniss but by a different name. But I'm going into this with an open mind.

I'm only halfway through the first chapter and I've found myself liking Scout already. She just seems so easy to connect with as a reader and that's something I really like to find in a story. You haven't tried to make her over-complicated or amazing-in-a-hidden way that many writers tend to ruin their main characters with.

The only mistake I found in the first chapter is right at the bottom in the line "Scout nodded and her father sat up from the table". It's meant to be stood instead of sat, right?

When her name got drawn from the bowl in the second chapter, I was extremely glad. Not for her, of course, but that she didn't volunteer. Although Reed volunteering was a huge surprise and I honestly didn't expect that, nor her reaction, really. Bravo for that surprise.

Further down, I feel a bit for Ash. Not quite sure whether he actually loves her, but gosh he just tugs at my feelings in the scene where they're in the room saying "I love you".

In all, I really like the beginning to this story and have found myself wondering just what is going to happen with them both in the Games. I really wish there were more chapters so that I knew what happened to them, but I guess I'm now going to be waiting like the others for the next chapter to come.

This is amazing! You're writing rocks! Don't let anybody tell you otherwise! :)

Woot! An update! Haha, I just took notice of it! :)
Well, I kind of saw that coming, but I didn't expect Reed to volunteer. I actually thought Ash was going to do that.
And I honestly don't think he loves her. (x
Well, it was another great update and I can't wait to read the next one! :D

This is a genuinely good fan fiction. I tend not to read them because people write them poorly, but you have done a fantastic job here. The only thing I think is that your writing is very straightforward. You'd be amazed at how much impact words like cold, soft, gentle, calloused, etc. have on your writing.

As she splashed the cold water on her face, she practiced her deep breathing once more.

That kind of thing. Otherwise, you have a very lovely plot and a well developed writing style.

This is great! Update please!

Heyyy Katie!
I'm totally your biggest fan of this story. It's so amazing, and I can't even put it into words! Your description is so beautiful, and Scout seems like such a strong character. Your grammar is almost flawless, and the layout is so interesting! Overall, the writing is amazing!
May I suggest something, though? I would love a little more insight into the background of the entire situation. It seems a little too direct, and it leaves me wondering what the relationship is between everyone. Just a thought!
I can't wait for the next update! You end the chapters so well!

I am in love with this so far. :3
It's incredibly well written and the characters seem well rounded. There's a flow to your paragraphs and I just can't bring my eyes away from the screen!! I think my favorite sentence out of the whole chapter was the first one. I could just visualize the setting sun and the mixture of pink and yellow tainting the sky. It was perfect!
I'm definitely subscribing and recommending this!!

This is the first fix that I read that isn't an Avenged Sevenfold fix and I liked it :D basically 'cause I'm a fan of the Hunger Games haha :]

Here is your Halloween treat ^^

I love The Hunger Games, so this is a good story for me to be reading, haha!

There is only one chapter, but I'm interested so far. I love how you give an explanation of how everyday life is, rather than just diving straight into the action. I think it works very well.

There are a lot of characters to remember in the first chapter, but I'm sure that as the story develops, it'll be a lot easier to discern them from each other. All in all, pretty fabulous, well done! :)

Here is your Halloween treat ^^

I love The Hunger Games, so this is a good story for me to be reading, haha!

There is only one chapter, but I'm interested so far. I love how you give an explanation of how everyday life is, rather than just diving straight into the action. I think it works very well.

There are a lot of characters to remember in the first chapter, but I'm sure that as the story develops, it'll be a lot easier to discern them from each other. All in all, pretty fabulous, well done! :)

Finally, a Hunger Games story worth reading. I don't know what it is with other people, but it's always fan fictions about Peeta or Cato. Either that or we have a completely odd formed plot.

This is brilliant. Though it's one chapter, it has enough information to get a reader thinking. I recommended this. Good luck!

I love the Hunger Games a lot so I was happy to see this was a hunger games fic. I'm really interested in where this is going, in your writing as really nice. You add just enough description so you can experience all of the senses but you don't over do it. I was a little confused at first by all the characters but I suppose you'll get more into the different relationships through out the story. Great job so far :)

I love the hunger games! I also really like the way it was written because it didn't really remind me of Suzanne Collin's writing style so it was sort of interesting mix. I love the contrast between Scout and Katniss since Scout isn't fatherless and doesn't have to weild an axe like Katniss shoots her arrows. I also like Reed's character, I like that she isn't Scout's sister but they almost are, just like Prim.