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A Hero Can Save Us - Comments

  • Vamprus Prime

    Vamprus Prime (100)

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    The most I can say it "FUCKING STRAIGHT UP AWESOME!" :D
    November 22nd, 2012 at 02:49am
  • Extra Ordinary

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    @ SabinaTanzola
    I'm really glad you like it, I actually did a huge amount of research on this one, I've been keeping myself inspired by watching tons of films starring Milo. I hoped people would get a kick out of it, I'm not sure most people realized I was directly quoting the commercial. I hope you'll stay tuned. :D
    November 8th, 2012 at 08:48am
  • SabinaTanzola

    SabinaTanzola (100)

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    I let a smile spread across my face with this one. Definitely unique. I'm kind of speechless right now. Not sure if It's because I'm tired or just that I don't know what to say. I love how you added the California commerical in there. That made me giggle a little.
    November 8th, 2012 at 08:38am
  • Extra Ordinary

    Extra Ordinary (100)

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    You really like it? Not too unrealistic, I hope.
    November 8th, 2012 at 05:06am
  • Vamprus Prime

    Vamprus Prime (100)

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    Omg! This is so intense. More! More! :)
    November 8th, 2012 at 04:28am
  • Extra Ordinary

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    @ Holden Caulfield.
    Thank you, so much for your input, I will definitely fix it. I hope you'll keep reading. :D
    November 5th, 2012 at 11:10pm
  • bernthal.

    bernthal. (300)

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    You have a good sense of direction and characterization. Very good description and detail! Just one thing, the format of your story is a little hard on the eyes. I would suggest some spacing.

    For example:

    *Here we would have action and description as Abbey and Milo walk through Comic-Con. SHe's seeing various things and sights.

    "And then the dialogue would come," He said in a saddened tone. *

    It would just make it a little easier to read :) Keep up the good work!
    November 5th, 2012 at 06:01pm
  • Vamprus Prime

    Vamprus Prime (100)

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    I am very impressed. Keep writing. i want to enjoy reading more.
    November 4th, 2012 at 05:41am
  • Vamprus Prime

    Vamprus Prime (100)

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    I am very impressed. Keep writing. i want to enjoy reading more.
    November 4th, 2012 at 05:41am
  • Vamprus Prime

    Vamprus Prime (100)

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    I am very impressed. Keep writing. i want to enjoy reading more.
    November 4th, 2012 at 05:41am
  • Vamprus Prime

    Vamprus Prime (100)

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    I am very impressed. Keep writing. i want to enjoy reading more.
    November 4th, 2012 at 05:41am
  • Vamprus Prime

    Vamprus Prime (100)

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    I like!
    November 4th, 2012 at 05:41am
  • Vamprus Prime

    Vamprus Prime (100)

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    I like!
    November 4th, 2012 at 05:41am
  • Extra Ordinary

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    Yeah, I've got it basically all planned out, it's weird I feel like I know how he'd react to certain to certain situations, If you want take a look at the character list, you're on it.
    November 4th, 2012 at 05:30am
  • Vamprus Prime

    Vamprus Prime (100)

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    Omg!!! SQUEAK! You met Milo. :) In this. :)
    November 4th, 2012 at 05:25am
  • Vamprus Prime

    Vamprus Prime (100)

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    Sorry, and they are just misspelling, or extra words.
    November 4th, 2012 at 05:13am
  • Extra Ordinary

    Extra Ordinary (100)

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    You sent that last one like 5 times. LOL Where are the mistakes?
    November 3rd, 2012 at 05:44am
  • Vamprus Prime

    Vamprus Prime (100)

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    I only say that with encouragement and support. Just a few words need fixed not the whole amazingly awesome story!
    November 3rd, 2012 at 05:33am
  • Vamprus Prime

    Vamprus Prime (100)

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    I only say that with encouragement and support. Just a few words need fixed not the whole amazingly awesome story!
    November 3rd, 2012 at 05:33am
  • Vamprus Prime

    Vamprus Prime (100)

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    I only say that with encouragement and support. Just a few words need fixed not the whole amazingly awesome story!
    November 3rd, 2012 at 05:33am
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