Unlovable - Comments

This is awesome... your writing style is so unique, and your story telling is awesome. Your words create the scene as the reader reads, which is sometimes hard to do, and the description obviously helps with that. Everything flows nicely, and the story overall has a great feel to it

I LOVE this Emmalee! Variel is such a unique character - so chilled out and the whole love-potion thing is genius. Particularly to link it with Harry's tasks in the sixth year. I really like how you're showing Snape as he is to regular students in his own house. It really rounds off his character nicely and it's so believable too.
Can't wait for more!!!

Finally an update! :D

That was a very cool trailer by the way.

Hey.

Man, this is so awesome. Such a wonderful twist on the Half Blood Prince. I absolutely adore your creativity at this point.

The start was good, but the way it proceeded, is what I’d commend you on. I like Variel, she has a dignified air to her. And the fact that she was conceived by a love potion is stirring. I’m just wondering where this will go. I mean, if she’s with Harry…I dunno, is she to die at the end then? Or will she be the wife of Draco, that Rowling never bothered to introduce? Personally, I’d prefer the latter. Better than her dying or leaving anyway.

Your writing style is unique and you have a way with words. Good job! Keep up the brilliant work!

Love is stupid. It’s nothing but mind games and hormones. - this line totally made me laugh, cause it's so true!

Variel rolled his eyes and kneeled down. - I believe you mean 'her'

That was long, but I really did enjoy it. And you know, I'm not that much of a Harry potter fan. It flowed so nicely though and it never got boring, I just really liked how you described Variel and I really like her attitude as well.

I will be recommending this for sure and heck even though I'm not a Harry Potter fan, I might even read more just cause I want to see what happens between Variel and Harry.

Keep up the excellent work!

Hi, here from the Grinch Christmas blog. I, normally, don't go near Harry Potter fics, but this is good. I love your descriptions, and even the bits of imagery you use to make everything come together. Variel seems like a fun character to write too, and I'm glad you made her slytherin but a nice slytherin. The Malfoys are not my favorite breed of warlocks. Anyways back to your writing. It's very good, very well written. I could imagine this being an actual Potter story, so we'll done.

Hi, here from the Grinch Christmas blog. I, normally, don't go near Harry Potter fics, but this is good. I love your descriptions, and even the bits of imagery you use to make everything come together. Variel seems like a fun character to write too, and I'm glad you made her slytherin but a nice slytherin. The Malfoys are not my favorite breed of warlocks. Anyways back to your writing. It's very good, very well written. I could imagine this being an actual Potter story, so we'll done.

Again, here from the Grinch blog. Your descriptions are exq

Ah omg it was fantastic, I seriously love this so much.

For some reason I found this part to be really funny: “O-oh...” Hermione’s voice trailed off and she became somewhat uneasy at the thought. I'm not sure if you meant for it to come off that way but Hermione and Luna were so cheerful and at ease before and with Variel awake, and still a Slytherin, it's still funny to me lol. I love how you used the spells in the chapter, it made it more authentic to me (because I absolutely love HP and am an avid Potterhead), and it's not just a cliche slytherin-gryffindor mix with harry in it, there's a back story to Variel and why she's cursed the way she is - and it's just great on your part! I really enjoyed this.

Can we talk about how in love I am with this story? FREAKING FANTASTIC.

Hello! I'm here from my Christmas giveaway :)

First off, Harry Potter \(^_^)/

Second of all, I love this idea you have created! Variel is a very intriguing character. Your summary helped me make that conclusion. Your summary is exquisite and pulls a reader in right away.

The first chapter started off on a strong note. I like how Variel helps Harry instead of Luna. But then there's Snape being his usual self, taking points away for petty things like Muggle clothes xD

I like the next chapter as well, even if you think it was slow. It added more characterization to your character. The ending left a reader on their seat too. According to the summary, Harry will get feelings for her but she's still okay with not loving. I feel like some major feels are coming :3

And I noticed this takes place during the 6th book. I wonder if the plotline of that will affect this in any way (positively or negatively)? DUN DUN DUN!

One thing I noticed is your dialogue in the first chapter. You're getting your commas and periods mixed up. When you're putting so-and-so said after the dialogue, there should be a comma. If not, then a period. Like this:

"I like food," I said.

"No you don't."

This is a great story and I'll definitely be subscribing :D

So I came here because of the giveaway recommendation. Saw the Harry Potter banner, decided to read the summary since I'm a huge HP fan. And holy shit, I just had to read it. This is absolutely amazing!! Subscribing!!

I love this and update please!

I'm going to start off by saying that I'm not a big fan of Harry Potter, but you write it so well that I'm not really bothered by it. I love how you sort of paint a picture of the story. You give the story such life.

I love the summary you used. It's really wonderful. I love the layout as well. It really matches the story.

Anyways, I hope you keep up the good work and have a wonderful day.

I've never read any Potter fanfiction before but I was pleasantly surprised at how amazing this really was! You captured the characters wonderfully and your descriptions were great! :)

Oops. I'm not sure if my comment is going to mean much because I never read Harry Potter—I watched the movies and hopefully that's enough kind of for my comment to mean something rather than a mess of babble.

Before I start, I have a minor suggestion for the layout and it's personal preference over anything so you don't even have to acknowledge this, but I would recommend putting some more space on the edges. Your words go out all the way to the edge of the text box and it makes it hard to read. For me, anyway. I might just be half blind.

Onward, now!

Heeey, I remember the scene you worked with from the movies. The entire time I was reading, I was like, "Oh! I remember that part in the movies." I really like how you morphed a well-known scene to fit to your writing. I wasn't thrown off by it in the least. I thought it worked a whole lot. It still made me want to punch Malfoy in the face, ngl.

I love Variel, wow. I don't know why I like her so much but I do. I feel like she's a character that's going to have a lot of spunk to her later on. She feels like one of those characters. The one that remains quiet and is seemingly bored with everything, but once she's more comfortable or with those she cares about, she's got attitude. That's how she comes across as me, but I love her nonetheless. I love how she's just indifferent to Harry. She has that "I really don't care" behavior when it comes to him versus everyone's "Oh my god it's Harry Potter" behavior, and I really love it.
I also really love her name! It's so incredibly unique. I've never heard it, ever.

Your word usage and sentence structure was fantastic. There wasn't any stumbles or awkward/forced sentences, and you kept me hooked the entire time. My attention didn't even wander when I was reading it and my dad called me towards the end but I put him off just to finish. I risked getting yelled at for this. I love the potential this entire story has.

I don't even have anything bad to say about this story! I don't even read HP fanfiction, but I definitely want to read more of this. You definitely got a subscriber out of me, so I'm happy you gave me this for your Halloween thing.

I am in love with the concept of the love potion child. It's a be tedious to re-read scenes I know by heart, but the changes you have made are stellar. I love love love Variel. Not to mention that this is the first HP ff I have read in the longest time, and it's perfect. I really am actually looking forward to this story so much!

I'm so glad you gave me this story to read for the mibbaween treats! It's been a while since I've read a Harry Potter fan fiction, let alone a good one.

I love your writing style! I can't wait to read what happens next, so I hope you update soon! :D

HARRY POTTER FANFICTION = LIFE.
This was so good. I only read a handful of HP fics that haven't had a cliche, over-used plotline, terrible grammar, or have just been terrible in general, so I'm so happy I found this. I'm definitely subscribing because I love Harry Potter and this seems extremely promising! Great work.