Red's Heart - Comments

@ Death The Angel
Wow! Thank you! That's such a compliment! You make me blush! Gosh... one of your favourites oh, I love you!

@ saber cat lucas
Precisely the way I want it! I want to amaze you with every chapter!!!

@ TaraJanee
Your comments always leave me wanting to impress you more! You're surprised with every chapter, which then makes me want to surprise you EVEN MORE with the next one!

@ Psychotic Secrets
Thank you! I'm super glad you enjoyed it! I definitely try to stick in a few lines that just make you stop and go "wow, this guy is EFFED!"

@ wanderlust king
I love the detailed comment! Thanks for the bits of advice but regarding the writing of the last paragraph, I wrote it like that because I simply liked the sound of it. There are actually times throughout the story where Wolf has been quite choppy with words. I don't read it as not flowing smoothly, but rather setting a tone.

I like the layout a lot. The red background is a really pleasing color, and the banner is really cool looking. Good job with that.

The summary is good, as well. I would make the bit about it being an original fiction a smaller font, though, to show it's not as important as the rest of the summary.

I just read the first two chapters, since my story only had one chapter when we did the swap.

The first two paragraphs set against the second two, in the prologue, are a really great contrast. You think maybe, in the first two, it's someone in love with Red. But you see in the second do that it's someone dangerous who wishes her harm.

The last paragraph doesn't flow all that well. Maybe something more like, "I called her Red, and so that became her name because I wanted to splatter her rich blood on the pure white snow." Something more like that, flows better.

You paint a really gorgeous picture at the beginning of the second chapter. "Snow blanketed the world in a glittery, icy wonderland, frosting the tress with sugar..." Really great imagery, you do it over and over again. Superb.

It's a great mix of beautiful imagery set against intent of malice at the end of the chapter. I really enjoy it.

Over all, you're doing a really good job.

This, is this really good. I love the very end. That quote was just superb.

Great story, good grammar and spelling and good details. I love the mix. The imagery makes this story stand out. Even thoughts to little red riding hood, I can't help but think its better than that story. Really amazing. I really like this story:) Great job.

Even though after every single chapter, I'm left baffled at the characters and how they are not how I expected them to be, I forget before the next chapter. The wolf has surprised me yet again, and I'm starting to believe that I will never really get used to his character. Sure he's cruel, sure he's violent, but this chapter just made him seem like an animal. Unable to train, unable to tame, unable to treat him like anything other than what he is. It seriously impresses me if Red's endurance, she's pretty damn brave. Either that, or she's pretty damn twisted. I thought it was a little sad that Red wants to be like Sarah, whether that's because she envies the bond she had with the wolf, I have no idea. All I am dying to know is what exactly happened all laid out, and what the hell the wolf's name is! Haha.

But really, an excellent read.

Red’s knitted heart slipped from the cloak bouncing merrily against her chest. This girl of the beautiful night was not of the sun. She belonged in the darkness. She belonged in the shadows.

Beautiful writing.

Every chapter never fails to amaze me...

Holy cow, this... this story... has left me speechless.. it's sheer awesomeness... has taken my breath away. This by far has too be one of my favourite stories I've ever read besides My Heart is Filled with Hate. By god Red is just so beautiful. And Wolf is just... just amazingly sexy yes I think he's sexy

The description you put into this story is spine tingling especially were Wolf rips that guys spine out and I just love it so much :') This story is so beautifully twisted <3

@ xXVengeancechickXx
Haha, what does that say about me if I wrote the psycho wolf?!

I'm glad you can relate in that strange way

That was so great! Really intriguing. I like being inside Wolf's mind. I can almost relate in a strange, weird way. Now I sound like a psycho. Hahaha. But anyways, awesome story. Keep it going! :D <3

@ SmilingScarlet
Thanks!! I really had to push this one out, haha! I dislike writing about his history -.- and can't wait to get back into his relationship with Red!

@ saber cat lucas
Thank you! That's such a compliment! I'm so glad my writing has made such an effect!

Quote

They called me a cannibal. A psychopath.

I was an artist.

That last line definitely got me. Wow, amazing.

Ok ive been reading on mibba for about two year now, and honestly this is the best story ive read.

@ saber cat lucas
Thought I should mention... this is just a dream! I've now added it in the author notes but Red isn't dead! He is only dreaming of her!

And thanks to everyone who is commenting!!!
I love hearing your favourite pieces! It urges me to keep going... and I do have an end in sight!

Flawless, oh my goodnees I cant even explain how I feel right now, so whos Sarah? Update soon!!!! I cant believe he killed Red,forgot how evil he was.

Never in my life have I read anything like this. It's just eerie the whole way through. The beginning was so unbelievably mellow and calmed out that I forgot for a moment how evil the wolf is. He seemed almost human, or humane. He actually seemed thoughtful and curious. But then came the next bit.

The spears stretched high into the night sky, embedded deeply into the snow like needles stuck in a pin cushion.

I can't begin the explain how beautifully written this was. The imagery is perfect, and is the most creative simile I've truly seen in a long time. It was so necessary, and so damn good. Just wow.
Alright the next bit, it was just gruesome and terrible and I could barely hold onto my guts. The way the wolf licked her heart, urgh! Usually in gruesome bits authors censor that kind of stuff and just skip to the bit afterwards with heavy implications! But not this one, it was absolutely disgusting. And terrible brilliant. The way you can disgust me like that proves that your writing is above excellent, because you can invoke a certain feeling into the readers. That's not something everyone can do.
So I am assuming Sarah is the reason he is the wolf? But I'm so confused! Why were there spears killing everyone? D: I need to know, please update ASAP!

This is just flawless. This is flawless and I love you. One of the best original fictions I have ever read, hands down. I just... I can't even form coherent sentences right now. As soon as I read the prolouge I knew this was going to be brilliant.

I called her Red. And that was her name. Because I wanted to paint the snow in her blood.

Oh my god. How have I not found out about your excellent writing ability yet?!

“What are you thinking?” asked the girl with the red hood. The beat of her heart drummed deliciously in my ears. “I had a dream once,” I replied. “Of a beautiful red winter.”

Gorgeous. So gorgeous. I adore the phrase 'drummed deliciously'. It has such a lovely use of repetition, and although that's an odd thing to point out it makes the whole excerpt even more fantastic.

I have subscribed and recommended this, as you already know.

Da fuq? This completely and utterly changes my perspective on both of them. Everything I thought they were, everything I thought they would be, is entirely reversed. I thought Red was such an innocent person because well, she's young and she's sweet. Or at least her blood is, and I guess the tale made me think that. But I have to remind myself this is a story different to that, and that is just a falsely placed stereotype. It's the same for the Wolf, at the beginning I assumed that he was pure evil and corrupt. He is, I believe, but I think underneath those fangs is a victim. I never thought of it as two different people merged into one body until that last paragraph. It was so wonderfully written. The way he was saying that the wolf was looking at her, not himself. And then he was so completely consumed by the wolf himself that he became the very anger he was witnessing. Just wow. I'm blown away.update soon!

Wow this chapter! First of all I'd like to point out how amazing I think it is that she's given him a nickname, and Wolf is such a cool name too. I love that you snuck in the little detail about him having told her his real name, you just add these tiny little hints and facts that add layers no layers onto their relationship. We don't know what sort of relationship it could turn into or what it is even now, but you've given off little trinkets for us to identify as them becoming closer and more comfortable with each other. Secondly, Red is truly a strange character. She watches this gruesome hunt happen right in front of her like it's the most normal thing in the world, then merely asks the Wolf if he's chilly? I think there's more to her then we've been told, maybe something a little darker in her core.

I paused, pressing my nose into her neck and breathing deeply. “Don’t worry, my sweet Little Red. As soon as I am done cleansing my body in your delightful blood, I will lick every drop of blood until every inch of you is inside me.”

Insatiable lust alright. If the Wolf was dirty phone sex talking to someone, this is how it'd sound. Hahaha.

Oh man! He was not expecting her to respond like that huh? I really enjoyed this chapter, and way to leave us hanging xD Update soon, darlin'! :D

i loved this chapter but he confuses me