Bay Boy - Comments

question, what inspires you to write?????? and how do you get all of these good ideas!!!!!!!! you have really good writing skille, I live how you word and describe things. If you have any tips at all for writing please tell!!!!!!! Oh and sorry for any splelling errors, I was typing really fast and I am in a hurry, cant wait for the next update!!!

I love this! keep going it is really good:):)

Comment Swap brought me here!

The title alone actually really intrigued me, as did your character's names and backgrounds.

You have some really nice writing skills. I love it when a writer can produce impeccable imagery in your head, and that's exactly what you're able to do. A lot of stories really lack in that department; whether they don't describe enough, or their descriptions are just so complicated, it becomes a big garble of scenery; you are the complete opposite of both those characteristics, though, and I applaud you greatly for that.

Another thing I liked was the length of the first chapter. Usually they're short, because of introductions and whatnot, but I, myself, actually don't mind either way. I have stories with short first chapters, and others with long first chapters, and both were very successful. I think it depends on what kind of story it is, and with this one, it worked really well.

I also didn't see any grammar or spelling errors, which is amazing and I also applaud you for that.

Overall, this story is a great read. You have a gift with characterization and diverse word choices, which will take you very far. So, keep up the good work and please continue! :)

*Comment Swap*

So, this was written really well. I could picture exactly what was happening easily in my minds eye. (Thank you so much for that! You have no idea >.>) And while I will admit the first chapter was huge, it was still good. Not that I'm someone to shy away from huge stories ^^. Over all, really good. I didn't spot any grammar errors or anything so your good there too. Great job and keep writing! :3

i'm from the comment swap! i only read the first chapter, but it looks like this is a good story. first chapters are really hard to do successfully ya know like you gotta introduce the characters and ideas without it being too much, and you definitely succeeded in that. the descriptions you have are really nice, and i couldn't spot any grammar or spelling mistakes! good luck with your story!

Also, I do agree with Daydreamer09 the paragraph thing will help you a lot too! But do keep up the great work! It is very readable!
I adore Milena she is awesome! A very strong person indeed! Loved the way you descried her!

Your characterisation is really good! Milena and Jordan came across as seeming real, and I fully believed in them.
One little thing though - you only forget sometimes, but just remember to start a new paragraph everytime someone new is speaking. Sometimes I got a little confused.
But this story is extremely readable and I throughly enjoyed it! Keep up the good work :)

Wow, you have an intense way of writing. I enjoy your detail and strong word choice! You my friend are brilliant!

i love this :)

@ Katherine-Lynn
Aw thanks! Glad you like it

Love this story! Keep up with the updates and great writing! Also, I like how realistic you make the story :)

This is an amazing story. I loved it very much. You are a wonderful writer. I cant wait for more chapters! I read all of them in one sitting and I enjoyed every chapter! Keep up the awesome work! I loved the way you described the characters! They seemed so realistic and it was awesome. I could picture it all in my head and that is a very good thing when it comes to readers. That means you're an awesome writer! Ill give this story a nice recommendation. I'm looking forward to your next chapter. I'm sure it will be just as amazing as the rest.

wow this is really good! I just read all of the chapters in one sitting and I can't wait for more! The characters are perfectly made and the story seems to come to life when I read it! It's an absolutely perfect story and I cannot wait to read the next chapter! This was one of the most captivating stories that I've read so far! Thank you for writing such a magnificent story!
Love Katherine-Lynn <3

Not from comment swap. I love this story though!!! And it just keeps just getting better.

I was also brought here by comment swap. Man, the description for the characters is amazing, and makes them seem much more realistic than other persons' characters on this site. Keep up the good work dude, I can't say I'll continue reading this, but it's one of those, "It's not my type, but I know it's good" sort of things.

I was brought to this story by comment swap. Honestly, I can say I wasn't too excited to read this story by your boring layout and lack of summary but once I clicked on chapter one I was BLOWN AWAY. You are an amazing writer, you made me feel like I was right there watching every scene unfold right before my eyes. I would suggest creating an eye catching layout and interesting summary to pull the reader in. Otherwise, keep going!

Hey I'm from comment swap! I just read your first chapter and all I have to say is WOW! You are an amazing writer! You offer a lot of description and have great flow :) I am most definitely going to continue to read!!! :) Keep up the great writing!

Liked the story.. Was brought here by Comment Swap. :)

Woah. When I first looked at part one, I was a bit intimidated by the length of the later paragraphs, but I'm super glad that I read it. I will definitely be continuing. It's fantastic. I love the descriptions and the characters. I definitely loved Milena and her heterochromia. It's amazing that you made your characters so realistic and I commend that. There were minor errors in spacing and formatting, but they can be fixed. I only suggest breaking up your paragraphs a bit to make them less intimidating and easier to read through. Overall, it was fabulous.

i loved the ending of this, it was cute and funny :)