The Walking Boy - Comments

Aaah youre back! I literally hissed when I read the last sentence /: update soon pretty please!

Not Amanda!
I have to say this is definitely one of my favorite stories on this site, it's amazing. Update soon

Fucking shit AMANDA AGAIN. God damnit I hate her. The story is great though, can't have a good story without an unlikeable character :)

You can't do this to me! I've been itching for an update, I get one, and it's a cliff hanger! This update was brilliant though, I love it. Thank you so much for updating!

Oh man. I bet Oliver is with amanda. Please update soon

Sorryyyyyyyyyyyyy! I know I didn't comment in such a long time >< I'm a terrible reader I know... You can punish me if you want to (no not like that you little pervert! Okay okay I already said enough stupid things..).
Soooooo when I began to read the 19th chapter, I already knew that it was messed up, and that she would probably leave because something would happen, and by something I mean Amanda. And I was right (not to be pompous but I'm pretty good at it. Haha just kidding)! Even if I prepared myself, I couldn't help feeling bad for Natalie.. :( She probably felt use (it's funny how I talk about the characters like they were real).. Legit feeling.

So I was really eager to read the next chapter to know what was happening in Oliver's mind. And there are the explanations! You did a really good job to describe his confuse feelings. I always think that your story is pretty original because nothing happen like we could expected. Your story is not a fairy tail. It's like real life. Sometimes things happen how we want, sometimes it doesn't. I think it's what make this so good.
The 20th chapter is very confusing, and it's probably because Nat and Oli are both confused. It's like we can feel it by the way you wrote it (or maybe you were just tired. Or drunk idk). I don't know what's going to happen next, like I have really no idea ._. (*Holli_simba used confusion* .... *The wild BoountyWarrior is confused!*.... Hum..Okay, whatever)
So, good job and I hope I'm forgiven? *puppy face*
Can't wait to read what your devilish self concoct for the next part! See you soon hopefully :)
xx

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such a great chapter, i feel bad for both Natalie and Oliver :( Update soon, can't wait to see what happens next!

wow, umm. damn it. This is one of few stories/books I have read that had me in tears SEVERAL times. I got so emotionally attached to it. I got pissed at times, and I even got butterflies sometimes. you are an absolutely amazing author.

Thoughts on Chapter 1:
Ok, you gave just enough background information. Most people give too much information and kill both the reader and the story. Yours was a good job.
I didn’t like the character of Doug (Although he's a nice guy), and there’s a reason for that. It’s because you know what you’re writing about. I mean, it was natural and real. I know many people like Doug who know a lot about your life and when you mention something about your family, they’re all like: “OH, Come ON! It’s your family. He’s your father. Oh come on, you’re not going home to your family. Why?”!!!
And I’m like “I’ve been giving you full lectures about my family. Don’t you already know? What’s wrong with you?!!!”
So, good job on the characters.
But you see, I think some of the paragraphs were unnecessary. Like this one:
When noon rolled around, Doug made a call-in order to ……Natalie paid the delivery boy and tipped him generously, although he didn’t have an even remotely lengthy commute.
And I think you also gave too much detail and little story. Almost nothing happened in the family visit part. Modern readers expect things to keep happening again and again. They’re weird like that. But in the end, I liked and enjoyed it. It had many positive points about it.
Errors:
…she parked in her usual spot and baled out of her car... (baled=bailed)
“Mum gave me one of my Christmas presents early, you have to see this…” (after ‘early’ you’ve put a comma. You should place a period. Putting a comma makes it a run-on sentence, which is a mistake.)
…it was the same guy she’d seen walking the day before on her way home from her parents house… (parents= parents’)

GOD you're killing me this is so great.

I'm officially addicted to this story! You're so amazing. Good luck at uni!!!

I'm officially addicted to this story! You're so amazing. Good luck at uni!!!

Great chapter, and good luck with school! :)

Omg this was so cute in a sad type of way!! I died

Oli,I command you to go to Natalie and love her! Now!

Damnit Oliver! Just ditch Amanda for cryin out loud. I just wanted to hug Nat and yell at Oli but at the same time console Oli. I loved it! Can't wait to read more and Good luck with school!

At least Oliver is trying to love her. I never liked Amanda, she can right fuck off. Don't worry the chapter wasn't bad. ;) x

Just a small error, when Oliver brought up that she was still in her pajamas, yet you mentioned before that she put on a pair of jeans. Just thought I'd point that out, great chapter :-)

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