Where the Wind Takes Us - Comments

FUCK NAT YOU'RE AN IDIOT
AND YOU REALLY ARE MICK'S BITCH UGH
Mick is annoying lulz
he's so closed-minded and it's just ugkasdhflkjasd
IT MAKES HIM LESS ATTRACTIVE
and poor Josh, it's not his fault at all, and Natatat's really being a bitch, and not just Mick's :(((((
did that even make any sense lol
I HOPE SHE FAILS HER ART THING
MAYBE SHE'LL LEARN A LESSON
anyways
ugh Natatat u needa grow a backbone yo

The way you've developed your characters and their relationships here is beautifully done, and I love that there's so much more to this story than romance. The prologue was heartbreaking but it really grabbed my attention, and so has everything else along the way, including Nat's friend group and the whole Josh situation. You've got a great story here and I really want to see how it unfolds even further. :)

It's not just you... I honestly don't see what Nat sees in Mick. Which brings me to my first point: I still can't tell if this is a love story or not. There's just so much going on that the whole Nat/Mick thing seems to be in the background. It's not a good thing or a bad thing at this point in the story... in actuality it keeps the reader interested. (But just for the record, at the moment I am not a Mick fan.)

My second point: It probably has to do with Nat's personality, but she curses a lot, and to be honest it's kind of a turn-off for me when reading a story. It's really overbearing and comes off as the character being unintelligent. It's almost as if Nat uses the curse words in place of other words that could help get her point across better. I understand that she was very upset at the beginning of this chapter, but the cursing really wasn't necessary in my opinion. I know she has a "I don't give a shit" attitude, but there are other ways to show that, you know?

Overall, I love your writing and will continue to read this story. I wouldn't mind two or three updates a week, but only if you can get out work that you deem to be of quality.

Okay i hope u keep updating because this just git extremely interesting...please update! :)

Okay i hope u keep updating because this just git extremely interesting...please update! :)

Okay i hope u keep updating because this just git extremely interesting...please update! :)

I'm finally caught up on this story!
Ahhhh, I love your writing and I love how this story has a 'I don't give a fuck' vibe to it. Supa tough!
And Josh... oh Josh. "The guy who sits in front of you with the nice ass?" Oh you... Let me take you home Josh Carey.
Nat is so sassy, yet sweet, I love it.
AND GEORGIA. I LOVE GEORGIA.

omg he named his car after Barbara Palvin
that's perfect
JAMES AND GEORGIA THOUGH AW THEY'RE SO CUTE
OMFG
DELICIOUS ASS LMAO
ooooooh Josh sounds like a cutie patootie
CAN I HAVE HIM
CAN I TAKE HIM HOME
but OOOOOOOH NOT MICK'S BITCH? ;))))))
I'm VERY curious to see if/how she's gonna prove that!

i like him already, i cant wait for the next update.

I love Josh. Like, I LOVE him.

Oh boo, this prologue made me so sad. I was like, "Woo, gonna read this story and it's going to be so AWESOME," but man, way to kill a buzz. The happiness in me slowly drained down as I got to the end of the prologue. I think that's a great sign that you've got a good story, make Nic emotional. Check.

I could totally picture Natalie running to her room after snatching the berries, it's something i would do xD
I feel as though some of the description in the second chapter is a bit excessive but it's not bad or anything, I liked to read it.
Again, with the sadness at the end of the chapter. Just stop, i'm going to cry.

I'm really sad that Natalie can't talk to Mick and be honest with him, it's heartbreaking.

I do like this story, so i'm subscribing. I hope you update soon. c:

I am just so in love with this story.

You've come so far from writing Jonas Brothers fanfiction! (I think I'm finally over my want for that Kevin story.... maybe....) I'm just so proud!

AW I THINK I LOVE JAMES THOUGH
OOOOOH I THINK OTHER THINGS WOULD SOUND SEXIER COMING OUT OF HIS MOUTH ;))))
but ugh I love her last name Fader that is so sick man
BUT DAMN MICK
I really want for there to be some new guy to just come in and swoop Nat lol
and then Mick'd get all jealous n shit and ugh it'd be gr8
yeah Mick don't be a homophobe :((((
I'M JEALOUS OF NAT'S FRIENDSHIP GROUP TOO UGH
MY HEART BELONGS TO MICK 2 AND IT SUCKS
this is wonderful I want to live in this story and Australia and Mick sorry not sorry

I read through the first chapter and nothing seemed to stick out - grammatically or punctuality-wise. Great job! This definitely has a sad, melodramatic feel and I am already dreading how sad this is going to be.

In the second chapter, I did find one thing that was a bit of a small detail change in the way you wrote it, and here it is:

I do another thing wrong and there’s this constant cycle which I can’t seem to escape from.

I think with this sentence ending with from isn't really necessary. Instead I would probably remove it all together and leave the rest of the sentence as it is.

I know she’s pissed. But I can’t bring myself to care.

I don't know if these two sentences were separated on purpose, but if they weren't however, I would probably change the full stop to a comma.

Well there you have it, the only mistakes I could find. I thought it might be similar to all the other stories out there with this very topic as the center of the story but I was proven wrong. As vices pointed out, the sex on a washing machine is an awesome idea. I would love to see that in the story or at least implied that they did it.

Natalie's definitely like a lot of young teenagers out there and I love that, you've made her so realistic. Awesome job, I'll subscribe and recommend for everyone else to read. Thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to review this piece of work.

I love how she writes LOVE SUCKS in her notebook BAHAHA
contrary to the other cliche teenagers in books and movies and whatevs

does her mom know how difficult it is to actually go outside
NO
IT'S FUCKING DIFFICULT ACTUALLY, MOM

oh my god actually sex on a laundry machine maybe maybe maybe

AW NATALIE DON'T BE LIKE THAT!
MICK'S TOTALLY INTO YOU
HE JUST HASN'T REALIZED IT YET

and this also seems like it's going to be so perfect and I totally feel for Natalie and sigh I can't wait to read further.

Oh man! I'm totally diggin this!

"we weren’t sitting on a rooftop but rather you were sitting on my heart" <-- favsies, right there.

I'm excited for the first chapter!

aw I feel like this is going to be quite sad, but there's another guy in this story so POSSIBLY he could whisk her away because Mick sux even though he's super attractive (and so is this other guy). Can't wait for the real thing to begin!

yeah I totes loved Rooftop Musings and now I can't wait for this! :)

they're both so attractive like
actually no all of them are
idek what to do with myself