Living for Now - Comments

About Damn time!

I'm in love with your story! Update soon!

Please update! This I such a good story!!!

Hello, I'm here from my Christmas Grinch blog, and yes it's about time I've gotten to this :). I read the first chapter and part of the second chapter. I think this is extremely well written, I love the air of mystery surrounding the Narrator in the first chapter. The way you describe Steve is beautiful, and you captured that hospitality gentlemen charm thing that he does so well. The way you write makes me want to read more, and I will definitely come back to this, but I have to go finish the rest of my blog before February.

Oh ok. So Lily is her granddaughter. I thought she was somehow Bridget's daughter but that wouldn't make sense. :)

Hi there!

I'm super bummed that I can't write a magazine review for this - since I'm not all that great with the background, but I hope that I can make it up to you by writing a super long comment! If I ever decide to stop rambling, that is...

SUMMARY
"Yeah, yeah, I'll go get him." She said, >> The period should be a comma here, since it has a dialogue tag. And the dialogue tag should be lowercase.

One other thing that stuck out to me was: black Kawasaki Ninja 300. I don't know why it bothers me - it just feels a little contrived. I think you can get the same image without naming the bike, but that's just a personal thing. Though, it's really sick she rides a bike. Love it.

CHAPTER ONE
taking her helmet and walking off towards the exits >> I'm not quite sure what the "taking her helmet" bit meant. Since there's no real indication that she set it down, I just figured she had it with her. You could either nix the line, or just say she tucked it under her arm or something.

I'm glad that the little I know about Captain America is actually correct! I remembered something about the 1940s.

"Spencer," >> Since there's no dialogue tag, this needs a period.

Hearing her last name be called brought her to attention >> The "brought her to attention" read a little funny. Maybe "caught her attention."

You're doing a really great job with Bridget's emotions. Sometimes when author's express too much emotion about something the reader knows little about, it pushes me away from the character. I'm really intrigued as to what happened between them and why she's so apprehensive.

"You know you're only making it worse by thinking about it." Maria blatantly told her. >> Here, there should be a comma again. Anything with a dialogue tag usually is a comma.

I like the bit where she puts her sunglasses on. It adds a little personality - like, she's a chick who rides a motorcycle, but she's hiding behind a pair of glasses. Adds a nice bit of dimension.

The perspective switch is interesting, and I like seeing her through a different lens.

"Hello, ma'am," >> Again, here, there should be a period instead of a comma.

CHAPTER TWO

You did a really great job with the sudden shift from not recognizing her, to him remembering and hugging her. It's chapter two and I'm shipping hard.

Oh and you just killed it. Apparently she's not interested anymore, but we'll see about that!

"though we all know that isn't happening.” She began, staring down each agent that stood motionless before her. “What are you waiting for? Get back to work.” >> Again, the it should be: "though we all know that isn't happening," she began...

I'm going to stop pointing these out, since I just spotted another. But here's a little thing that might help with it!

I'm interested in the shift in her character, from who Steve knew to who she is now. I'm also intrigued as to why she didn't want to forgive him. Alright, so probably gonna have to jump on the Captain America train and read the prequel, haha.

I've noticed you've called her "the brunette" a couple of times, which I find interesting. Using her name or just "she" would work, but the brunette reads a bit funny to me. Just a personal nitpick.

Awh yeah, they're living together.

Great ending to this chapter! I like that they start on a rocky footing, seeing them come back together will be that much sweeter. And I love that he knows her well enough that he'll grow on her.

CHAPTER THREE
Ah, Bridge. I would be freaking about that, too.

Ahaha, he's playing Angry Birds. I love that you included that because it must be so confusing from someone in the 40s to suddenly have something with mindless games, haha.

Oh no they had a daughter, stop.

CHAPTER FOUR

Just kind of got lost in this chapter. There were bits from the dialogue that I mentioned before, but that was all I caught. Other than that, I was happy they were talking! And that he's learning to work a microwave :3

CHAPTER FIVE

"An ant has no quarrel with a boot." >> Love that line!

"Hill's been hit, but we need medical assistance soon.”>> Instead of "but" maybe "and."

Ooh... Loki... hear a lot about him but don't know a lot about him. But I quite like him, so!

CHAPTER SIX

Lily? Oh man.

Again - didn't notice anything too big. Just the brunette "title" again. But other than that, really good!

CHARACTERS

Just so you know, I read chapter seven, but didn't have anything constructive.

Alright, so the main characters are obviously Steve and Bridget, but I'll talk about the minors a bit.

I really like how you made Bridget cold, and how she wasn't the woman waiting around for her husband, who, you know, was lost in a chunk of ice. I like how their relationship is hard and how they have to work back at it, in this new setting. I think her personality could easily come across as annoying, but you did a great job on making her likable too. She's a little intimidated by him living with her, she hides behind her sunglasses. She was hurt and she's recovering how she knows how - it's done so well.

Steve is also really interesting. Like, the guy is from the 40s and so much has changed, including his love interest. It must be a lot to take it, and you write his childlike fascination with the iPad, or the microwave really well, without it feeling contrived.

The minor characters are a bit hard for me to keep straight, but that's probably because I'm not familiar with any of this. Their dialogue doesn't ever sound contrived, though.

Which brings me to the next bit...

WRITING

You're a dream with descriptions. There are passages that are very, very vivid and I can just completely suspend reality and drop into this world. Also, since I apparently can't say it enough, with having no background with the original story, I was able to really fall in love with the characters and the concept without knowing really anything, which is definitely a nod with how well you're writing this.

There were only two things that stuck out to me that needed a little work. First, the dialogue tags. Hopefully what I mentioned about will help you out with those. Second, the brunette thing. As I said, it's probably just a nitpick on my part, but something about it just doesn't feel like a good description. Using Bridget's name, or just "her" would work fine, but the "brunette" sometimes confused me because I didn't quite make it an epithet to Bridget, you know?

OVERALL

I don't know what I quite expected coming into this, but I thought it was great. It certainly has come to life in front of my eyes, and the characters are vivid and fleshed out. The descriptions are great, agh. I wish there was more!

Great job with this! I hope this comment suffices :3

xxx Bee

Again, here to deliver an exceptionally late Mibbaween gift. Ehehe.

I literally made the strangest noise when I realised that this was a Captain America story. Again, I probably shouldn't comment on it (don't judge a book and all that jazz) but your layout is lovely. I adore the banner, it's so pretty!

As always, you've got this wonderful grasp on adding in the tiny little details that I just love. It can be too much sometimes, but you use it to your advantage and I think you've got your writing perfected so that it sits on that tiny verge between overly-poetic and overly-dry, which is great. Even right from the beginning I'm making up this fantastic image in my head of Bridget on her motorcycle and the whole interaction between Maria and her. It's so delightfully dripped with awkwardness and I just love that! I've not read the prequel yet but even after that tiny little interaction, I'm dying to go back and read through it because that really intrigues me.

The Angry Birds part. I can totally imagine that playing out in front of me and I love that you've included all of these little things to link into the fact that Steve is from another time. It just makes everything so much more credible and gives your story this extra little oomph.

I really like Bridget as a person. She seems like she has this really tough exterior (telling all of the agents to get back to work - that bit made me giggle a bit) and almost puts up these walls to protect herself (again, going back to read the prequel once I'm finished with my gifts because I want to know if there's a massive reason behind it) but every now and then, she shows these little moments where she lets her shield (pardon the pun) down and shows this soft side.

I'm really excited to see where you take this (and what Loki's doing with Lily. Ooh, drama llama) so I'll be subscribing and going back to read the prequel when I have time. Good job so far!

Hey there! This is your christmas gift!

Anyways, I like the banner and layout, very clean and neat, easy to read.

Now the summary...well it's more like a snippet isn't it, haha is really good, but I think it's a little too long. That's just my own personal opinion. It's really good though, I think it draws the reader in making them want to know what's going to happen after fifty years has past between Bridget and Steve.

The first chapter, might I just say I love how it is written. It's so well done with descriptions and emotions. Especially the ending bit when Spencer is describing Steve. I could only imagine how that must feel, fifty years and seeing someone you loved again, that's very intense.

I felt for Spencer when he spoke to her, I could just feel her nerves. Well done, that was just perfect!

It's very well written! I also love the banner, it's really cool.

Loved it! Loki is seriously scary. Lol. I'm not very familiar with Thor, Loki, or Captain America, honestly, and I haven't watched The Avengers. But as I've already said, you write so well and descriptively and...I adore this. <3

Menacing Loki! That works! Lol and you referenced to his Comic Con tangent... I think. I'm pretty sure he said that at Comic Con. :p

I am not a huge fan of Marvel, to be honest. But the way I have noticed that you write your characters, the fullness, how they are all fleshed out and fresh, I'll admit is quite attractive. Spencer is a treat, and though I don't know a lot about Captain American, I feel like you are skilled at filling in the blanks. Thank you doe sending this read over to me!

I love Fury's attitude from the summary. Did you have a video for The Glory Days? The name sounds really familiar. :o Awe, poor Bridget, I haven't read the pre-equal but I can't even imagine how she must be feeling. With that aside, your writing is fantastic! Everything flows so smoothly, and I didn't spot anything even slightly bumpy about it.

I guess you could write Loki as saucy with a bit of desperate crazy. Or you listen to Bruce's psycho analysis, "Bag of cats" crazy. Apparently, you can smell it on him. :p

such a well written story, great characters, great storyline, fantastic

The story is well-written and interesting. I love your characters and how you stay true to their emotions, no matter what situation is unfolding around them. Spencer is amazing. I know I've only read five chapters, but I have to say that she's one of my favorite female characters I've ever read already. She's a bad-ass and can take care of herself, yet she's not this, like, bitchy girl who doesn't need anyone else (most people tend to make their females overbearing and abrasive any time they try to create one who isn't all girly and emotional). Seriously...I'm going to keep reading this. Consider me subscribed. =)

This is really good I love this.

H my gosh Steve!!!!
I watched the Captain America movie and I'm kinda in love with him :) but not like Loki!!! You can't get in my heart for that reason Steve!

I love it :) seriously this is awesome!

I love the names of characters in your stories and the way you right. I like that the main character is called by her last name.

You've done such a good job with this story because I don't really feel like it is fanfiction. Like I said before, you're good with description, but it's not overbearing and boring to read. You give simple descriptions such as color and even the way the characters carry themselves.

I do love your wording, especially the way you ended the second chapter. “Hello, ma'am,” Just perfect. To me it seemed sarcastic.

Once again, you've done an outstanding job. Such a great writer!

Okay when I saw this I was like "holy crap it's been a year or so since I've read captain america stories!" it excited me I read the first chapter and I just decided What the hay I'm going to subscribe to this because it's fantastic! You have amazing writing skills bravo bravo.