Sweet Like Sugar - Comments

Ughhh I'm dying. I cannot express to you how much affection I feel for them! This story is the cutest thing in the whole wide world and you are SUCH a gifted writer. Like seriously that's what you should do. Please keep updating! I love it so much. I hope they get to actually date soon. GAH. I love them.

Aww so cute! I wish they didn't have to hide though. Can't wait to read more! :D

Awesome update. I definitely love these characters a little more each chapter. :) Looking forward to more.

This story is super lovely. There were a couple little typos and grammar mistakes, but that's nothing a proofreader can't fix. Your writing style is lovely, so calm and sweet! Albie's personality comes across so strongly in this, you can't help falling in love with him a little.

There's so much to admire in this story. It's simple but it's so, so effective. It feels real. I've subscribed and I hope you keep up the updates! The world could do with a little more of this butter and sunshine.

Okay I've always loved this story but that last chapter is just.. Wow. Seriously such fantastic writing. Perfect pacing, it was like poetry. "Just react" - *swoon*.

Anyway it's lovely to see this story back! Thanks for the update!

Uhmm what a very great Christmas present! I've missed these two a lot!

I was so happy to see this updated. I adore these characters! I hope you keep writing it.

Merry Christmas indeed. I missed this story.

Thanks for updating! Whenever I get stuck on a story I normally decide to just get to the parts I had planned and forget about the stuff in between. So good job!

Thanks for updating! Whenever I get stuck on a story I normally decide to just get to the parts I had planned and forget about the stuff in between. So good job!

This is awesome ^u^

Yay I'm really glad you updated! Been missing this story. And I love Albie to pieces.

I really like Albie's character. You write him so realistically. He seems very kind and relatable.

I love this story so much and I hope that you do continue to write it.

Oh my gosh this stooorrryyyyyy!! Please update <3

I was so happy to see this updated again, and I really can't wait to read another chapter! This is definitely one of the best stories Ive read on here :)

I've been missing this story! Glad you updated and I'm still very in love with this story. And oh my goodness I just love Albie. Can't wait for more!

so i kept going to my friends list to see if people have written anything knew and i kept seeing you and being like "this girl is basically me, her icon is sailor moon and her username is about the wonder years" but i never went to your profile until now. i am so glad i did because wow, this story is amazing. please update soon!

Firstly, everything that I picked up

In chapter one, I think you're missing a "not" in this sentence - I'm the only one with the nickname curse, though. - in between "I'm" and "the".

And this - That's how things were her. - looks like it should be here.

Also this line of dialogue - “Look, Sugar,” She says sternly, - as it has a comma should have the "she" with the 's' lowercase. It's only uppercased if there's a full stop or a name following the dialogue. You have other dialogue that needs fixing the same way.

Chapter two

told me that I once I broke out of my crib - I assume that this second I isn't necessary?

but she also cold just not - I assume you mean could?

Chapter three

guy liner when his band was preforming in shows - it's performing.

Also the chapter title has a typo - a dirty gay theif - it's thief.

Chapter four

the fear form almost getting caught, on top of the running was taking it's toll - a small typo as it's supposed to be from and the second word is its as it is wouldn't fit.

afraid I could handle anymore running today. - I'm sure you mean couldn't here?

Chapter five

It was going to dive me insane! - I'm sure you mean drive?

Chapter eleven

So…I’m really sorry about what happened last night.” - you're missing the opening speech mark.

Chapter twelve

You have a maid? Jesus, Finn. Are you rich?” - missing the opening speech mark.

He’s interrupted by my fist slamming hard into his right shoulder.” - and this closing speech mark shouldn't be there.

And my favourite quotes

"I still didn’t even have armpit hair." - Aw, poor Sugar.

"Why am I always surrounded by such hostile girls?" - oh, bless you, Sugar. You'll learn about teenage girls soon enough.

"How would we even have sex?" - oh my gosh, is he for real? He is so innocent!

"Then I started to wonder if Finn ever wore a jockstrap when he played soccer. It felt so naughty."

"He was speaking in some gay lingo that I had never even heard of." - bless your little cotton socks. Have you not found the Internet before, Sugar?

Overall

This was so cute. I absolutely love Sugar but I can't get over how incredibly innocent he is. I can never cope with innocent boys, especially when the Internet exists. I mean, I knew more than he did when I was eleven - including how boys had sex. Haha. I love how you write Sugar and how awkward and annoying he can also come out to be. Like, Peeps tries to help him but then he's too adamant about not being gay to fully see what she's doing, and it sucks that he's already got the whole "oh, no, being gay will be the worst thing ever because then I'll be a fag and queer" because honestly Sugar, you have such an accepting friend of Peeps telling you it'll be fine, and with a family like yours, you'll probably have all the support that you'd ever need.

The friendship between Lia and Sugar is so relatable to me, although a camp situation like that never happened. It's just the way he was emotional over the letter (although it's commonly not thought to be the boy thing to do, I'm glad that he did before he was openly "gay" - even though he's been thought as of gay. I totally relate to you about that, Sugar. I was apparently a lesbian from the time I was 11 until I was 15 and it cropped up with someone I never normally talked to) and how she really missed him.

And boy, Finn is just so cute. He's like the boy that everyone wants to exist because he's so friendly and nice, even though his tendency to over-apologise is a tad bit annoying, but hey every character needs a flaw. Although Finn's could also be the friends he keep because I just have this inkling that they might go one-up "robbing" that shop and do something that he won't be able to redeem and take him back down to "arsehole" level to Sugar (which would probably be sensible for him - until he realises that Finn was innocent, that is). I think I'm over-thinking this whole thing and making my own plot up. Sorry!

Other than the things I picked up, I couldn't find anything to really fault or that draw away from the greatness of this story. It's cute, easy to read (as in isn't overflowing with annoying flowery description every two words) and feels completely American. I don't even think I can actually explain that last thing other than it's so cute and Sugar's so innocent and I don't think I've ever met a person who is that innocent above the age of 12, and I'm pretty fairly certain that Sugar is definitely older than 12 (though I'm not sure how old eighth grade would be?). But this was absolutely lovely. I can't wait to read more!

Missed this story sooo much.