Her Black Cross - Comments

Third chapter. I have no words. It's as stunning as the previous chapters. You never cease to amaze me with your work. I must tell you again, it's as if you're inside my mind with this story. Like everything the narrator is talking about, is basically me. The short style is working fantastic, as it's definitely got me wanting more already.

Overall, I'm just blown away by this update and I'm excited to read more already. I've already recommended it on this site but I might just have to spread the word somehow about this especially to a friend of mine on the site who would fall in love with this. Keep up the good work sweetie! Also thanks for dedicating (I feel so special and honoured because you're literally my favourite writer/person on here) and thank you for the mention! :)

Merry Christmas!

That poem on the summary is lovely, as is the layout. I'll get onto reading now. This was defintiely a very interesting and unique opening. I loved that it started off with the shock of the narrator being slapped. One thing I noticed was the third paragraph's opening sentence. It should read, "I know about those night(s)"

Again, the second chapter is just so strangely unique, but I honestly like it - it's just like an outpour of thought. I do feel like the ellipsis in the opening sentence disrupts the flow a bit, however, that could just be me.

You have to keep this up. Once again, you've amazed me with your writing. You really do have a way with words and describing things. So far the descriptions are relatable, I've spent many nights like you described. This is going to turn out to be a master piece, I can just tell. I'm 100% sticking around for this one, keep up the good work! :)

You should definitely keep this! The poem was really beautiful and it had such a dark feel to it. Like, it wasn't one that completely screamed darkness, it was more like a shadowy feeling that slowly crept up on you as you read it. It was absolutely beautiful and I feel like the summary alone is enough to pull you in. It sets the perfect mood, very mysterious, and the pace just feels so mellow right now.

As for the chapter itself, it leaves me with a lot of questions, I'm eager to learn more about the characters. The narrator, in particular, has my attention the most. The nights that were described are nights that I can relate to on such a personal level. I completely understand that emptiness and loneliness of just having that one cigarette. Geez, that feeling of not being good enough, I've been there.

This story is utterly fantastic so far and I'm planning on sticking around to see where it all goes from here. I love that I was immediately drawn in!

Definitely keep! This is very well-written and I didn't notice any spelling or grammar errors. I like the mood of this, it's dark and kind of mysterious. The layout is as well. I have nothing bad to say about this, great job.

The first chapter was really nice and I'm very interested in knowing what caused that scene between the two.

The layout has that mystery/dark feel to it and there's also that really nice poem. This is gonna be good - I know it!