I noticed just one mistake throughout the chapter.
You don't have to block out curse words, as long as you make the rating at least rater PG13ish, and you already have it rated R. The censors are just a little bit annoying.
I hope I made sense!
I really love this story and it shows some true potential, and I really hope you continue!
Laurcet:
It could be a sickly twisted story. Or too funny and cute haha.