A Summer Nowhere - Comments

Omg I love this story, and I love James.

@ Cyanide Shivers
Thank you so much! I'm glad I swayed you.

This story is semi autobiographical, so I'm super attached and the honest feedback means a lot.

Dude, I'ma be frank and tell you that this is definitely not the kind of stories I usually read. At all. And I actually wasn't planning on reading it at all until I saw a comment that said that you didn't really use dialog. Then I had to check it out because I really, really hoped you were using dialogue because dialogue is such an awesome tool to use in writing. Then I actually started reading it and I was pleasantly surprised to be sucked in to this world you've created. There is just enough snarkiness and you capture the small town vibe perfectly. I guess it just reminds me of place I used to live and I found myself smiling despite not being into stories that usually follow this type of genre. So thanks for reminding me of good memories and being well written. Oh, and keep it up because you are very, very good at writing. Hopefully my own stories will flow as well as yours do. :cheese:

@ caligulasAquarium
Oh my goodness, thank you so much! This is all really amazing feedback. I was concerned about the wordiness/confusion because from the beginning I didn't want to fill the story with dialogue. I think maybe throwing conversations in here and there to lengthen and separate chapters would be a good idea during future editing/writing.

I'm thrilled that you enjoyed it, nonetheless. And I can't wait to see what you guys think of the coming updates.

Summary
I really love the way you set up the summary. It sounds like a movie almost, which I definitely appreciate because it's hard for people to capture that kind of thing in stories, if that makes sense. Jobie's life sounds like it's going to be really interesting and I can't wait to read about it!

Chapter One
I love the way you opened up the story. Honestly, it really captured my attention. The bit about Jobie's name sounds adorable, omg.

The third and fourth paragraphs in is where things got confusing for me. There were so many names and descriptions thrown in at once, it was hard to keep up. I had to read those paragraphs over a few times to make sure I got all the names and who they were right.

Jobie's mother sounds like an absolute sweetheart. She must have really swayed the company if she looked over the fact that she didn't have experience like that.

Lynn definitely does sound like a cool mom! And I like how Sam and Jobie became friends. You know, saying what both of them would bring to a desert island. That's definitely a cool way to become friends with someone!

That's the thing about girls—we want everything for ourselves, even though we learned we were supposed to share. --I really liked this quote.

I'm surprised Jobie was allowed to smoke, especially due to the fact that her mom seems pretty strict. I'm wondering if it's because she didn't know?

Hmmm, I don't know how I feel about Mike kissing her like that. I really hope he wasn't just using Jobie. That'd be a real shitty thing to do.

Jobie's mouth sounds a lot like my mom, omg. I can't get over the similarities, honestly.

I feel really bad for Sam and all the stuff she's been through, but I also understand where Jobie is coming from. When I was younger, I used to want that too. I wanted to live a life where things happened. But when things actually started happening, I wanted to it all to go back to the way it used to be. I'm wondering if that will happen to Jobie as well, or if she'll just accept everything.

All-in-all

I really enjoyed what I read. I want to see what happens with Jobie and how her life will change in future chapters. I'll definitely be reading on. I didn't see any mistakes and the flow was okay. I did feel like there was a lot of information, which can turn people off, so I'd watch for that. Other than that, this was great. I'm going to subscribe!

@ RiotGurl
I'm so glad! I tested it out my phone to make sure it wasn't as all over the screen. And thank you so much! The next chapter is in the works.

This story is the cutest thing ever!!! I'm all caught up and I demand you write more.
I love how spunky Sam is and protective of Jobie. I have the sneaking suspicion Jobie is going to end up with Gary!♡♡♡
Heather is just a total twat waffle, but really fun to hate. I love how Gary scared her by driving down the extra bumpy roads.
I also like the comment, if you cut her open you would find another one of her inside.
Thank you for tightening up the layout. Sooo much easier to read now.

@ RiotGurl
Thank you so much! I'm really glad that the southern voice came through. This story is very near and dear to me, so I am beyond thrilled that you're enjoying it. And I will definitely adjust the layout.

Hello there!!! I just finished chapter one. I have a hard time with long mibba chapters. (Reading and writing them)
This really sucked me in though. It honestly felt like someone was sitting on a park bench telling me their story. Almost like Forest Gump.
Jobie has this bumpkin charm that is absolutely adorbs. There were a ton of lines that had me unintentionally cracking up. Her mom telling her that she didn't have enough energy to smack her in the mouth. Holy Crap man. That's gold.
The descriptions are so honest and totally without guile. This girl doesn't seem to have a conniving bone in her body.
I love how she totally flipped and started to clean when the neighbor boy kissed her.
Can't wait to read more. Hope this story gets lots of love. My only suggestion in narrow the layout. It's too wide to read easily on a mobile phone or kindle.