I'm the Kind of Human Wreckage That You Love

I swung my bedroom’s door open and grab a bag, I threw some clothes inside, as well as some money and ran back downstairs. I grabbed an apple, a bottle of water and a bag of cookies and locked the door behind me. I couldn’t waste anytime, I had to find a way to go to Los Angeles as soon as possible…

The first thing that came to my mind was to go and ask Brent, Brian’s brother but then I remembered that he was probably in school, like I should. Then I headed to the Berry’s brothers. I knocked on the door and waited.

“What the fuck?” muttered Jason, rubbing his eyes as he opened the door to the small apartment he shared with his brother. “Adeline! What happened?”

“Sorry, I know it’s still early but I need your help Jason!” I explained as I dropped my bag next to my feet and hugged Jason. “Could you drive me to Los Angeles?”

“What?! Why? Did something happen with the guys?” he asked, as he held me by the shoulders, inspecting my face. I pushed his hands away.

“No, I just need you to drive me to Los Angeles. That’s all.” I said, detaching each word.

“Listen Adeline, I can’t do that…” he said, rubbing his neck. My eyes widened.

“What? Why!” I asked in disbelief.

“Damn! What’s the screaming about?” asked Matt Berry as he appeared behind his brother.

“Adeline wants to go to Los Angeles, she needs one of us to drive her there.” Explained Jason, not looking away from me as he spoke to his brother.

“Don’t you have school?” asked Matt, crossing his arms in front of his tattooed chest.

“That’s none of your business! All I am asking is for you is to drive me to Los Angeles!” I said again, loosing patience.

“Well, sorry Adeline but we can’t do that!” said Jason as he walked back inside the small apartment. My mouth fell opened as I looked at Matt Berry, he had an apologetic smile on his face.

“I would drive you down there Adeline, if I was sure your brother wasn’t going to slit my throat…” he apologized, squeezed my shoulder and then closed the door in my face. I kept starring at the closed door for a few minutes before I started to head back to the street, my bag swung over my shoulder.

I didn’t have much money to call a cab, my friends couldn’t even help me… My only option left was to walk…
I rubbed my face and started heading to Los Angeles.

**

I hadn’t left Huntington for more than ten minutes when a car slowed down next to me. I kept my head low and accelerated my pace. The person rolled down the window, and I heard the music blasting. I knew the car was packed with men. I put my hood up and shoved my hands in my pockets, never lifting my eyes from the road.

“Hey!”

I accelerated.

“Hey! Do you need a ride?”

Don’t look up, do not look up! I kept telling myself.

Finally, the music stopped and the car drove past me. I let a sigh in relief and started walking at a normal pace.

Call me crazy, I know I shouldn’t be walking to Los Angeles, which is just a stupid idea… But my friends let me down and I had to see Brian… Each step was taking me further from home, and closer to Los Angeles. I was deep in thoughts, the sun was high in the sky and my hoodie was tied around my waist, and my stomach was growling when I heard another car slowing down beside me…

The window rolled down and I heard a too familiar tune to just keep my eyes on the ground, I had to look up because there was no mistake there, it was Green Day playing in that car. I looked up and saw a girl, probably just a few years older than me, she was looking at me worriedly.

“Don’t tell me you are going to walk whole the way to Los Angeles…” she said as she parked the car and I stopped walking.

“Of course I will!” I replied. She lowered the volume and shook her head at me.

“Are you aware that you will probably never make it to Los Angeles?”

I looked down at my beaten up Converses. She was right. I probably never make it alive… I let out a frustrated sigh and kicked a rock.

“I was heading to Los Angeles, do you need a drive?” she stopped for a second, and then added, “I am not some random creepy guy, and I will not ask you for money or anything… I am just offering you a ride because I think it’s not safe for a girl like you to just walk there… And I would understand it if you refused my help.” She said with a kind smile.

Part of me wanted to ignore her and keep walking… while the other part wanted to take the offer… She was a girl, around Matt’s age, and was alone in her car and she had good taste in music… and I really needed to get to Los Angeles

What should I do?

**

“So, why are you heading to Los Angeles? Or should I say, what’s so important there that you would risk your life walking there?” asked the girl, I had learned that her name was Charlotte but she prefers Cha.

“I need to see my boyfriend…” I explained, while gazing out of the window. “And you, why are you heading there?”

“You must love him very much…” she said while looking at me. I didn’t react so she just dropped the subject. And I was glad she did. “I’m going to see a show…” she explained. That caught my attention.

“Which band, Avenged Sevenfold?” I asked quickly.

“No…” she replied shaking her head. “I’m going to see Good Charlotte… I saw Avenged Sevenfold this week end in Longbeach, they were pretty awesome.”

“Tell me about it…” I muttered darkly as I glared at the road. We were in Los Angeles.

“So where are you going?” she asked me.

“Just drop me here, I’ll walk.” I explained, rubbing my face.

“You sure?”

I shook my head and sighed. “I need to get to the other side of town, where Avenged Sevenfold are performing…” I said.

“I guess your boyfriend is one of the members right?”

I nodded, “He’s the lead guitarist, and my brother is the singer, or should I say screamer…”

“Oh yeah! I forgot they were from Huntington Beach… It must be hard to see the ones you love always on the road…” she said as the car slowed down and she parked it.

“Are we there yet?” I asked in disbelief, my heart starting to beat faster.

“Yeah, it was closer than I thought…” she explained as she got out of the car. I did the same, swinging my bag over my shoulder. “Do you mind if I’m coming with you?” she asked. I shook my head. She smiled and locked the car. We crossed the road. The van was parked there, next to the bar where they would be performing that night.
It was around 2 in the afternoon and the back door of the bar was opened. Cha and I made our way inside. Matt; Jimmy, Johnny and Zacky were all sitting on a couch, sipping beers and smoking.

“Adeline! What the hell are you doing here! You should be in school, and who’s that?” asked Matt as soon as he saw me, pointing to Cha who was standing next to me.

“I missed you too Matt. This is Cha, she drove me there. And I am here because I need to talk to Brian, where’s he?” I asked, trying to steady my voice.

“If it’s about you coming wit us, you already know the answer!” said Matt.

“I do not care. I need to sort things out with Brian.” I said. And that’s when I saw him, he was coming from the bathroom. He just looked handsome it was hard to resist the urge to run into his arms. But I resisted.

“Adeline! What are you doing here!” he asked as a big smile lightened up his face and he hurried to me. He wrapped his arms around me and tried to kiss me. I pushed him away and glared at his gorgeous face.

“I just need to tell you some things. First: You’re just a bunch of arrogant assholes, leaving just like that! Not even saying Goodbye. Second: You could have come and see me when you were in Longbeach!” I said, as I turned to look at my brother. “It’s not far from home and I would have loved to see you, but no! Just act like I don’t exist!” I said, my voice rising.

“I called you, you didn’t answer. I thought you were mad at me.” Brian said.

“Of course I am mad at you, at all of you!” I replied, turning back to see Brian. “You just leave like that, didn’t even say Goodbye and then you go and fuck random girls! Are you insane or what? Do you really wanna die?” I yelled, anger taking the best of me.

“What! I did not fuck random girls, I love you!”

“There’s a slight difference between fucking someone and loving someone!” I shot back. “I heard Kim talking about her best friend who hooked up with the lead guitarist of avenged Sevenfold!”

“I can explain!” said Zacky, making his way towards me. “That girl was drunk, she was flirting with Brian and he had troubles pushing her away so I came and took her back to the van and we… hum…” he trailed off, rubbing his neck. I raised my eyebrow.

“What happened to Kate, I thought she was the love of your life?”

“Oh come on Adeline, love of my life?! Don’t tell me you believe in that shit!” he said laughing.
I swallowed the lump in my throat. I felt numb, because not only I had been worrying about nothing, but I could hear Brian laughing too. Zacky went to sit back down on the couch, and so did Matt. I turned my attention back to Brian and walked closer to him. I lifted my hand, ready to slap him. I wanted to, but I didn’t. I rested my hand on his face, as I gaze into his chocolate eyes. I would have died for him…

I had been thinking about every kind of scenarios possible, but none of them included the part when my heart shattered to pieces. I became aware that we weren’t meant to be. Brian had chosen a different path from mine. He chose the rock star lifestyle and that did not include a girlfriend, just random fuck. His lifestyle doesn’t allow a wedding, or children… And I wasn’t part of his new life…
At that moment, one of my favourite songs sneaked into my mind…

Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go

I felt tears beginning to form at the corner of my eyes. I tried to hold them back.

So make the best of this test, and don't ask why

“Do you remember what you once told me about Green Day?” I asked him, hoping my voice wouldn’t break.

It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time
“That you would choose them over almost anything?” he asked, frowning. Clearly he was confused by my question.

I nodded and opened my mouth to speak but decided against it. There wasn’t anything else to say. I didn’t have anything else to say.

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

“Bye Brian…” I whispered as I dropped my hand and started to walk back to the car where Cha was waiting for me.

“Adeline! Take care!” shouted Matt from the couch.

“I’ll try…”