I Accidently Kidnapped the Joker. Crap.

*Joker’s Point of View*

As this woman ran at me I couldn’t think. I was too dazed to even defend myself and by the time I finally realized what was happening, it was too late. This damned woman knocked me out, AGAIN! Now I knew how my victims felt.

For what seemed like only a few minutes, I slowly woke up to feel warm water slowly dripping through my hair. It felt good seeing as how I haven’t washed my hair in a long time. Now that I think of it, I don’t think I’ve washed it since dying my hair last. I never opened my eyes, knowing that she was looking at me. Well not at me but probably at my features.

I waited for the room to be completely silent before opening my eyes and yelling “Hello there handsome!” into her ear. I laughed, clearly amused at her shocked expression. Her green eyes were as wide as I’ve ever seen them as her mouth hung open.

Us being in the tub together made me remember all those sappy chick flicks Harley made me watch with her. A woman would be seated in a tub full of steaming hot water with floating rose petals all around her as she waited for her man to get home. When the man came in he would smirk, trying to be seductive, and his fake acting would kick in. A soft core porn scene would play and you probably know the cheesy ending.

‘Gotta hate those dumb Lifetime movies’ I thought to myself.

“I always thought these scenes in the movies were cliché but they seem rather enjoyable” I giggled at my own comment. Why? Because you just can’t seem to find a good audience these days. My eyes never left this girl in front of me, not even when she took off her shirt. She probably forgot her undershirt was white but that was fine with me. Her black bra was cute. I giggled again as I raised my eyebrows at her, waiting for her to scream or slap me but instead; I only felt cold water being dripped onto my head as she mumbled “jerk.” Of course I heard her, but I wanted some fun.

“What’d you say?” I asked trying to seem irritated. ‘Hee hee, got her!’ I thought smugly to myself upon seeing her jaw clench. I blocked out what she said, knowing what her answer was. This girl was predictable at times or maybe I was just that good at identifying people. I grinned when realizing how much fun I could really have with this girl. My mouth opened as I wanted to ask her something but she cut me off.

“How are you feeling” her voice now clean of any trace of attitude asked.

I just looked at her, questioning if she was serious but I said “Ya know doc, you never did apologize for hitting me with your bucket mobile.” I again laughed at my joke, not expecting anything out of her but I heard her gasp when I hit my head. I licked my lips and mumbled an “ow.” She quickly moved but I didn’t pay attention. All I could see was stars.

My attention was focused on her again as she asked “I uh, do you need help out” in a nervous tone.

‘She really needs to stop being so serious’ I thought myself. “Now do I really look that pathetic to you miss?” I asked. She just rolled her eyes and turned to walk out. “Wait!” I called after her “Can you help me?” I actually did need help. She grabbed my arm and draped it over her right shoulder while supporting my back with her left arm. She handed me the towel and we began to walk out of the bathroom. I glanced to my left to look into the mirror and immediately became angry.

‘How dare she’ I thought in fear. I grabbed her and slammed her into the door, not really knowing what else to do.

“Look at me!” my voice commanded. She slowly looked up at me scared. “Why did you do this?” I questioned.

“What do you mean?” she asked. You know when you are scared or panicked so you snap at everyone because you don’t have control over a situation? No? Well you’re
experiencing it now. I grabbed her throat

“Why did you wash off my face.” I didn’t intend on sounding so mad it just happened. I was embarrassed she saw me like this. Not even Harley has seen me without my ‘war paint.’

“I only washed off your make-up, I’m sorry, I had to.” She responded. She sounded truthful enough I guess but I was still angry.

“This isn’t me! This is just false flesh that haunts my every thought. I didn’t want for it to happen but it did. That paint and these scars are the only reminder I have of who I really am, not this pasty, ugly organ of shame!” my voice yelled at her in a bit of a high pitch. I meant every word of it. Ever since that day I’ve been ‘the Joker.’ I was no longer what my actions had made me into my entire life. I was no longer in control or able to live the life I wanted. Her face was frozen in shock as I took in every inch of her features.

'Flawless' I smiled inside 'but not for long.' I let her go and walked away. With my back turned I said “Hurry up and wash my clothes, I have places to be” I knew I left her confused and that’s just the way I liked it.

‘Feels good to be in control again’ I thought with a feeling of accomplishment.

I walked into her living room that was filled with boxes and other packing materials. “What a strange girl” I said realizing something odd “I guess I don’t fully have her figured out yet.” I was a bit let down since I thought I knew her but that was alright. I then noticed how much fun it will be to get inside her head and tweak around every perfect fiber in there. I began wondering what was taking this woman so long but I didn’t mind; I needed my peace. But shit she’s been ‘gone’ for almost an hour! Hell, I barely noticed since I was thinking too much.

Her couch was old and worn but it invited me over. ‘Looks comfortable enough’ I thought to myself while taking a seat. As I was about to put my feet on her surprisingly new coffee table, she dropped a hot load of laundry besides me on the couch while mumbling something.

“Aren’t you going to fold them up for me” I asked rudely, afraid my clothes would wrinkle. She extended her arm as I felt something nudge the back of my head. I slowly turned my head, just enough to see her.

“No, but I’ll tell you what you’re going to do” she stated as her thumb turned white from the pressure she applied to the hammer of her Magnum. She looked fearful as I did the same until I noticed something else. I wanted to burst out laughing but I had to keep my cool. So I played along until I looked into her eyes. Somewhere in there, I saw fear, enjoyment, and confidence. She really was serious.

So much for being in control again.