I'd Kiss You Goodbye If I Thought It Would Make You Stay

"Please stand by, we've come so far. These years we survived the ride that turned us inside out. - The Academy Is...

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

I won’t deny that I’m nervous walking into the Fuse studio for the live interview and acoustic performance today.

We’re introduced to various people and then ushered into hair and makeup.

Before I know it, we we’re waiting to be welcomed onto the show and Suzie is whispering encouragement to me while Seb’s patting my back reassuringly and Wes is watching us all nervously, as if he’s the one that’s going to be answering questions.

Meanwhile, Jude is trying to see how long he can hold his breath for.

…not very helpful, in any case.

The host says our cue, and we head onto the stage to open with our first single.

I step up to the mic. Suzie is holding an acoustic guitar instead of her usual lime green bass, Seb has his acoustic as well, and Jude’s holding a tambourine, seeing as he’s currently lacking his drums. Then he’s counting us in, and I forget about being nervous as I start to sing with Seb occasionally doing backups.

“Say what you want, I’ll believe it.
No, you don’t really have to mean it.
I never had a chance,
Always was a sucker for a part time lover’s romance…

Take time, if you need it,
Rewind, and repeat it.
Tears fall, better believe it,
Everyday feels like forever.”

I take a step back from the mic to catch my breath in between verses, and I’m noticing that many of the kids here are mouthing along the words, making me smile and giving me an adrenaline rush and a giddy feeling to go along with it.

“Say what you want, I’ll believe it
No, you don’t really have to mean it.
I never had a chance,
Always was a sucker for a part time lover’s romance

Yeah, take what you want,
I don’t need it.
I’ll play the giver if you’ll receive it.
I never had a chance,
Always was a sucker for a part time lover’s romance.”

We finish the song, I’m still on a type of adrenaline high, and I’m literally feeling myself aching to be back on the road.

“So, what exactly was on your mind when you were writing the album?” he questions right off the bat. I catch my band mates exchanging that old glance, but I can save myself this time. I even made sure to wear a long sleeve shirt today; it’s the easiest way to hide my wrist and avoid any questions about it, although it’s not very noticeable anyway.

“Well, the songs are about exes in general,” I clarify, surprised at my own calm aura. “The good ones and the bad ones,” I finish, emphasizing the ‘good.’

And then he’s off the topic of exes, which I’m grateful for, because I know that many people seeing this are going to assume that every single track is a hate song about Michael, which just isn’t true, because it never even occurred to me to hate him, even after the breakup.

I’m also happy that he’s questioning the entire band and not only me, which is usually the case with these interviews. That or they’re asking me how amazing it is being related to William, in which case I get tempted to tell them about how he put gum in my hair when we were seven because I told him he played baseball like a girl.

This is the most relaxed interview we’ve had in a long time, and it's actually fun, because now he’s asking Seb if he straightens his hair (yes) and he’s asking Suzie what’s the worst part of touring (seeing Jude in boxers) and what Jude does on his days off (Xbox).

Before I know it, we’re backstage again, and the interviewer is thanking us.

We say goodbye and head outside, where some fans ask for autographs, and I don’t mind at all. I’m just glad they don’t hate me for being reclusive these past few months.

And I don’t even flinch when one girl asks if Michael’s as cute as he is on T.A.I. TV.

I just tell her he’s cuter in person.