I'd Kiss You Goodbye If I Thought It Would Make You Stay

“Hey babe, you got me, goin.’ The kitchen’s on fire and we’re stuck in the oven. Oh, oh-you should know, all of this makes me love you more.” - Shaimus

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Michael

I wake up startled, out of breath, and in a cold sweat for some reason. I sit up and glance around the room, making sure I’m in the right place.

I look down to see Rachel sleeping beside me and let out a sigh of relief. I start to calm down, rubbing the sleep from my face with my hands.

That’s when it comes back to me. I’d been dreaming I was back in Australia all those months ago, after I broke up with Rae.

I shake my head at myself; not wanting to remember those reclusive months when I’d probably driven my family crazy with my moping.

I shove those dark thoughts from my mind and turn to Rachel.

“Rae,” I say, nudging her softly. She doesn’t wake, only pulls the blankets closer around herself and gives a small frown with her perfect lips. “Rae…”

I decide to let her sleep for awhile longer and take a shower; she’s had a long week with Suzie, Seb, and Jude in L.A., and we had been out walking around downtown until late last night.

I get dressed and place my suitcases by the front door, then return to the bedroom to try and wake her again.

“Rachel,” I try again, touching her cheek and brushing her bangs off her forehead.

“Hmm?” she murmurs, finally opening her eyes and stretching.

“I have to leave soon,” I remind her, running my fingers down her arm.

“Oh,” she says, sitting up straight and rubbing her tired eyes. She gets out of bed and yawns lightly.

“You don’t have to get up,” I tell her, glancing at the clock. It’s almost five in the morning. “It’s so early.”

“I want to,” she insists, as I follow her down the hall.

She abruptly turns around to hug me tightly, pressing her face into my chest. I rest my head against hers, feeling her sudden tears soak through my shirt.

We should be used to this by now, but it’s just as hard every time.

I don’t think it ever gets easier.

“I don’t want you to go for so long,” she says, finally pulling away and wiping her eyes with her sleeves. “I just got you back.”

“I know,” I sigh, pulling her back to me and kissing the top of her head.

We stay like this until Mike calls to let me know they’re waiting outside in the car, and then I have no choice but to go.

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“I don’t know, Suze,” I sigh into the phone. Lately, I’ve just been lounging around the apartment, missing Michael and everyone else, as well. Jon is the only one in the city right now, so I had gone out to lunch with him today for old times’ sake, but he’ll be gone soon, too.

“Come on. Come down and stay for the weekend. The guys will be in town. We can see them play; they’re going to be at small venue. It will be fun,” she coaxes. “You’re seriously telling me you want to be alone on your 24th birthday?”

“Well…” I say, now considering it, even though I’m not exactly in the mood for traveling. But I hadn’t realized they would be in L.A. that day.

“You can see Michael…” she sings convincingly.

“Fine,” I sigh, smiling in spite of myself.

“Great!” she exclaims happily. “See you next weekend!” She hangs up so I won’t change my mind.

Not that I’m going to.

I have a feeling this is going to be a birthday worth traveling halfway across the country for.