I'd Kiss You Goodbye If I Thought It Would Make You Stay

“The life I gave for you is yours so keep it, you oughta keep it. If I had one last chance to take it all back, you know I’d take take take you.”- The Academy Is…

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It’s a day later, and I’m sitting at the airport in between William and Sisky, waiting to be boarded on the next flight to Chicago.

I feel myself falling asleep on Sisky’s shoulder, but now I’m awake as my inconvenient phone starts to ring.

“What’s up?” I mumble into the receiver, yawning.

“Rachel?”

“What’s up?” I ask Suzie again sleepily. She hesitates, and I can only wonder what she wants to tell me.

“Me and the guys are worried about you. We think you’re depressed. I mean, you were fine when we were recording, but now you’re back how you were after Michael-”

“No shit I’m depressed, Suzie,” I say, rolling my eyes, before she can delve any farther into that subject, and William glances sideways at me, frowning.

“Do you think you should get…help? Or talk to someone? Anything?”

“If I’m not fine in time for tour, I will,” I promise. She sighs, not believing me, because it’s what I’ve been saying for the past few months.

“Well, what if I pick you up later and-”

“I can’t,” I tell her. “I won’t be home.”

“What do you mean? You don’t even leave the house anymore-”

“I’m going home. I’m at the airport, and I’ll be in Chicago by this afternoon.”

“You’re what?!”

And now I’m feeling bad, because I realize that I’m leaving the city without telling my best friends and band mates and manager anything about it.

“Well, Bill and Sisky came by yesterday-” I try to explain, but she interrupts.

“Yeah, and they said they were visiting, not kidnapping you! Are they crazy? Wes is going to kill you, he just set up a-”

I open my mouth to retort, but William takes the phone from me.

“Hey Suze,” he says calmly. “Well, you told me you were worried about her, so I thought I’d help.” I can vaguely hear her loud voice through the phone. “Shit. Sorry, I didn’t know. But honestly, Suzie. She’s in no condition to be dealing with interviews right now.” Another pause, then he gives a short laugh. “Yeah, next time I’ll let you know before I kidnap your singer. Bye, Suzie.” He hangs up, passing my phone back to me.

“Thanks, Bill,” I murmur quietly, slipping it back into my pocket.

“You were supposed to perform acoustic on a radio show tomorrow,” he informs me. I bury my face back in Sisky’s shoulder, because now I feel horrible.

I groan audibly. Sisky wraps an arm around my shoulder and I lean into him and try to fall asleep until we board the plane, because it’s the only way I can think of to deal with everything in this crowded airport.