It's A Roller Coaster Ride We're On

The end of June… I don’t know why but I always seem to like this time of year. The weather is perfect, the birds are always out, and the sun is always shining… well… almost always. It’s also thunderstorm season; which is wonderful because I love thunderstorms. This week we were in Illinois. I walked down the hall to Nick and Frankie’s room and knocked on the door.

“Hi Mel!” Frankie said, smiling at me as he let me in.

“Hey Tank.” I said, messing up his hair. “Hi Nick.” I said, sitting next to him on the couch. He pulled his ear buds out of his ears and paused what he was listening to.

“Hey babe,” he said, wrapping his arm around me and giving me a kiss.

“What were you listening to?”

He turned his laptop around so I could see the screen. I smiled and looked up at him. He was listening to Tyler Kyte, one of my favorite musicians.

“So?” I asked.

“I don’t know.” He said, shrugging his shoulders. “He’s good but… there’s just something about it that’s weird.”

“Something about what?” Joe asked, walking into the room.

“Ever hear of knocking?” Nick asked coldly.

“Chill, Nick. Sorry, okay?”

“He was talking about Tyler Kyte’s music.” I said, answering Joe’s question.

“Who’s Tyler Kyte?”

“One of my favorite musicians; he’s really good but Nick thinks there’s something off.”

“I’ll give him a listen sometime.” Joe said.

“Cool.” I said, smiling at him. “So Nicky, will you give him another try? For me?” I asked, batting my eyelashes. He sighed and kissed my temple.

“Anything for you,” He said, shutting down his laptop and pulling me closer to him. Joe went and sat on one of the chairs awkwardly. “So, what are you doing Friday?” he asked.

“Oh gee I don’t know. I’m so busy this week you know.” I said sarcastically.

“Well why don’t you clear your schedule for a very special occasion?”

“What special occasion?”

“Your three month anniversary with your boyfriend...” He said, looking deep into my eyes.

“It is?” I asked, my eyes opening wide. Really?

“Yeah, three months from that night in Texas...”

“Wow. Three months!” I said, sitting up.

“Well technically that was on a Saturday so I thought it should be Saturday, but we leave Saturday and I planned out this whole big thing. So, I thought maybe we could do it on Friday.”

“What whole big thing?” I asked, getting excited. I glanced over at Joe and he had his head back staring at the ceiling. He was breathing deeply.

“I’m not telling.” He said, kissing me softly on the lips.

“It’s our three-month anniversary.” I said, in disbelief.

“Yeah, it is.”

“I feel kind of stupid that I didn’t even know about this.”

“That’s quite all right.”

“I mean, I feel really bad that I missed our two-month anniversary.”

“That’s quite all right too.” He said, chuckling.

“How was it?”

“Pretty good...”

“I’m glad.” I said, smiling.

****

Later I walked back into mine and Lauren’s room. She was sitting at the counter holding a box of hamburger helper. I walked up to her and put my hands on the counter.

“No. Put that away.”

“I want to cook.” She said.

“You can make soup.” I suggested.

“No, I want to really cook like on the Food Channel. I want to sauté things, chop things, and do the ’bam!’ And I want to arrange things on plates so they look like a pretty little hat. I want to be the iron chef!” she exclaimed.

“Fine,” I sighed.

“Really?” she asked, surprised.

“Yeah, I’ll help.”

“Okay. I need… a pan.”

“I hope this room comes with a nice big fire extinguisher.” I said, walking over to the hotel cabinets where sure enough I found a pan.

“Funny, funny girl, now, if only I’d bought some hamburger.”

“You didn’t buy hamburger?” I asked, stopping what I was doing to stare at her.

“Yes, I bought hamburger. I just like saying things like that so you look at me like I’m crazy.”

“So tell me, why the sudden need to be domestic?”

“Well, you’re always the one to cook at home and now that I’m getting older… and I’m in a relationship, I think I should finally hone some cooking skills.”

“Ah, I see. So you really like Kevin huh?”

“It’s more than like Mel. I love him.”

“What?” I asked, smiling at her.

“Well, he kind of… said it to me. Last week. Before you and I started talking again.”

“And in all the time that has passed since we started talking again you couldn’t tell me?!”

“I’m sorry!” she said, giving me an impish grin. “It slipped my mind.”

“It slipped your mind to tell me you were in love. Geez,” I said, rolling my eyes.

“Okay new subject.” She said.

“I have this huge favor to ask you.” I said, sitting down next to her.

“Oh, something I can hold over your head. Let’s hear it.” she said, rubbing her hands together.

“Friday night is Nick’s and my three-month anniversary.”

“Three months? Wow.” She said, smiling at me.

“And Nick apparently has some big, fancy evening planned for us.” I said, starting to sound giddy.

“Very classy of him…”

“Yes, it is.” I agreed. “But, for me to actually partake in the aforesaid fancy evening I’ll need help getting all glamorous.”

“Aw, sweetie, of course I’ll help you.” She said, smiling at me.

“Thank you. So much…”

“Of course, now, let’s make this stuff.”

****

“So, what are you going to wear with that?” Lauren asked as she fixed my hair.

“Mm, you tell me.” I said, standing up and walking to my closet picking up two light sweaters.

“Uh, where is he taking you?”

“Why?”

“Well, you don’t want to clash with the décor. A lady plans ahead.” She said as if I should know.

“Well, if you must know, he’s taking me to Andeloro’s.” I said, smiling.

“Oo, isn’t that romantic.” She said, smirking at me.

“I know!”

“Wow, it’s going to be just like Lady and the Tramp. You’ll share spaghetti, but it’ll just be one long strand. But you won’t realize it until you accidentally meet in the middle. And then, he’ll push a meatball towards you with his nose and you’ll push it back with your nose. And then, you’ll bring the meatball home and you’ll save it in the refrigerator for years…”

“Lauren?”

“Uh, neither. Just wear your coat.” She said, standing up. “This hair just won’t stay in place... You look beautiful.”

“Thanks,” I said, hugging her. Then there was a knock on the door. “That’s Nick. Bye Laur.”

“Bye honey, have fun. Don’t forget the meatball.” I smiled at her and walked into the hallway where Nick was standing all dressed up in a nice suit.

“Melissa you look… beautiful.” He said, placing his arms around my waist, leaning down and kissing me.

“Thank you. You sure clean up well yourself Mr. Jonas.” I said, smiling at him.

“You ready?” he asked.

“Let’s go.”

He took my hand in his and we walked to the elevators. We took them down to the lobby and he led me out the front doors where a horse-drawn carriage was waiting for us.

“Oh Nick,” I breathed, staring at the marvelous white creatures in front of us.

“Come on,” he said, leading me to the carriage and helping me up.

We rode the carriage all the way to the restaurant. There was a slight breeze blowing around us as we rode through the early summer air. His gaze was directed at me the entire time and I smiled at him whenever I glanced over. Sometimes my mind wandered elsewhere… but I always got it back on track. We arrived at the restaurant and Nick helped me out of the carriage and inside where we were immediately led to our secluded table.

We mulled over the menu. I couldn’t make up my mind so Nick helped me. We ate and laughed… mostly he talked. I was kind of silent. I don’t know why… I always had something to say to Nick.

“That was really good.” I said, folding my arms on the table.

“It was?”

“Yes, it was.”

“How was the salad?”

“Great.” I assured him.

“What about that cheese bread thing? Too heavy?”

“Just heavy enough.”

“Really?”

“Nick, everything was perfect. Even the soda was good. I don’t know how they do it but the Coke here is definitely superior to the Coke anywhere else.”

“Okay, at what point during that did you start making fun of me?”

“I would never make fun of you,” I gasped, holding back a smile. “Especially after you ordered three kinds of pasta for me, just because I couldn’t decide.”

“Well, you shouldn’t have to decide. Tonight you should have everything that you want.” He said, reaching across the table and grabbing my hand in his.

“I just have to say that I am now a very big fan of the three-month anniversary.”

“Oh yeah?” he asked laughing.

“Definitely, I think they should have t-shirts and newsletters.”

“Well, I’m glad.”

“You did all this for me?” I asked softly.

“It’s not over yet.” He said a glint to his eyes.

“Wow. This is just like the Christmas that I got my own collection on the documentary of photography.” He gave me an odd look. “I wanted it.”

“Oh. Good.” He said as the waiter came over.

“One tiramisu, two forks, and one meatball to go...”

“Thank you.” I said, taking the bag.

“You want to explain the meatball?” Nick asked.

“It’s a best friends’ thing.”

“Okay well uh, ladies first.” He said, pointing to the tiramisu.

“Thank you.” I said, grabbing my fork. I dug it in and took a bite. “Okay… have I mentioned how much I’m loving the three-month anniversary thing?”

“Yeah you did.”

“Because, this tiramisu is so good… that if the anniversary were completely sucking right now, this would save it.”

He laughed and set his fork down, sitting back in his seat. He just stared at me with a big smile on his face.

“What?” I asked, starting to blush.

“Nothing.”

“Stop it.”

“No, you look cute.”

“I’m eating.” I said, rolling my eyes.

“Well you eat cute.”

“I do not eat cute. No one eats cute. Bambi, maybe, but he’s a cartoon.”

“So, uh, after we finish here, we move on to phase two of the anniversary evening.”

“Phase two? Sounds very official… are there spacesuits involved?”

“With matching helmets,” He said, leaning forward.

“Impressive.” I said, and then we both dug into the tiramisu.

****

Phase two. It consisted of no carriage this time, but a limo. It took us out of the city limits to an old abandoned field.

“Are we making crop circles?” I guessed as we walked along the lantern lit path.

“Nope.”

“Are you going to tell me what we’re doing?”

“Nope.”

“Well, okay.” I said. Soon we came to a clearing where there sat a vintage Mustang convertible. “Whoa.”

“Come here.” He said, opening the passenger side door for me. I slid in and he climbed into the drivers’ seat. I looked out over the field and then I saw something rising up.

“What the…?” I asked, a confused expression appearing on my face. The thing continued to rise and then all of a sudden, a movie started playing. “27 Dresses?!”

“Yup,” He said, wrapping his arm around me.

“Nick, this is one of my favorite movies.”

“I know.”

“Thank you,” I said, reaching up to kiss him before snuggling into his chest to watch the movie.

****

By the time the movie ended, it was dark out. A blanket of stars stretched across the sky. I was nestled in Nick’s embrace. I was comfortable… we walked back to the limo so it could drive us back to the hotel. A thunderstorm started outside. I opened the window just a little to smell it. I breathed in deep. I love that smell. I went back to cuddling in Nick’s arms as we got nearer to the hotel.

“I’m having one of those moments right now.” I said quietly.

“What moments?” he asked.

“One of those moments, when everything is so perfect and so wonderful that you almost feel sad because nothing can ever be this good again.”

“So, basically, I’m depressing you?”

“Yup.”

“You’re very weird.” He said, turning his head to look at me.

“And you’re wonderful.” We looked at each other for a moment before he leaned in and kissed me. I kissed him back but… something felt different. We pulled away and I opened my eyes to see him looking at me.

“Melissa.” He said, squirming in his seat a little.

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

I stared blankly at him. It was silent in the limo.

“Mel?” I snapped out of it.

“Yeah?” I asked again. Had he really said it?

“Did you hear me?”

“Uh-huh.” I said, slowly nodding my head.

“Well, say something.”

“I… I…”

“Yeah?”

“I loved the movie.” I blurted out. Oh boy…

“And that’s it?” he asked, pulling away from me a little.

“No, I just… I’m surprised. I didn’t expect… I don’t…”

“You don’t… love me?” he asked, removing his arm from around me and staring at me incredulously.

“No, I just have to think about it for a minute.”

“Think about what?” he asked.

“Well, saying ’I love you’ is a really difficult thing.”

“Well, I just did it.”

“And you did it really well.” I assured him.

“What the hell does that mean?” he asked, his voicing rising as the limo slowed to a stop in front of the hotel.

“I’m sorry.” I said, shaking my head. “Please. This totally came as a surprise. I mean, with the dinner and the movie and then the… I just need a minute to think about it.”

“This is not something that you think about Melissa. This is something that you either feel or you don’t.”

“Please don’t be mad.” I said quietly.

“Why? Because I say, ’I love you’, and you want to think about it? I mean, go back and discuss it with Lauren?”

“Not fair.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, taking a deep breath and shaking his head. “I’m an idiot. I don’t even know what I was thinking.”

“Nick. Please it’s just not that easy for me. I mean, saying ’I love you’ means a lot. Think about it from my point of view. My parents and my life… I’m just confused. I need to…” I sighed. “It’s a really big deal.”

“Fine, come on. Let’s go inside.” He said, opening the door and stepping out into the pouring rain.

“Nick, please don’t be mad.”

“I’m going inside.”

“Nick tonight was amazing. It was perfect. Please, I swear, I just need a minute…”

“Whatever. It doesn’t matter alright?” He said, turning his back to me and walking into the hotel.

I sat in the limo for a few minutes. The driver put down the divider.

“Miss Douglas. Are you alright?” he asked.

“I… I’m fine.” I choked out.

I climbed out of the limo into the pouring rain. I stood there, staring up at the hotel, knowing that I broke Nick’s heart. One of the sweetest guys I know… and I broke his heart. Me. I wasn’t crying. I didn’t need to cry… I don’t think. Funny… I love thunderstorms, and here I am standing in the middle of one of the coolest thunderstorms and yet… I couldn’t enjoy it. I took a deep breath and walked into the hotel. Water dripped from my body with every step I took towards the elevator. I stepped inside and went up to our floor and walked to mine and Lauren’s room. I followed the trail of water drops from Nick’s clothes and saw them lead on to his and Frankie’s room. I quietly opened the door in case Lauren was asleep but stopped when I heard singing. It wasn’t Lauren. It wasn’t even Kevin. I peered inside. Joe was sitting on my bed, guitar in hand… singing a song I didn’t recognize.

“She’s so far away,/But oh, she feels so close,/It gets harder every day,/Harder to see, harder to feel this…/More than I should,/More than I could,/Put into words,/More than I breathe,/More than I’ve seen,/Inside me before,/Oh ooh,/Oh ooh,/What she sees in me,/I don’t believe,/So I’ve tried, so hard,/I’ve tried to be better for you,/More than I should,/More than I could,/Put into words,/More than I breathe,/More than I’ve seen,/Inside me before,/Oh ooh,/Oh ooh,/Will she listen?/Will she care?/Will she believe?/That I love her, oh I love her/More than I should,/More than I could,/Put into words,/More than I breathe,/More than I’ve seen,/Inside me before,/Oh ooh,/Oh ooh,/ Oh I love her,/Oh,/I love you…” he finished singing and closed his eyes. I stayed there silently… “Lyss…” he said quietly. He wasn’t looking at me though. He was looking at the guitar. I quietly opened the door the rest of the way and walked in. His head snapped up at the sound.

“Hi,” I whispered.

“Lyss… I… um…” he stuttered then he looked at my face and stood up, crossing the room to get to me. “Lyss what’s wrong?”

“We broke up.” I said simply. He pulled me into him, hugging me. Not caring that I was soaking wet.

“What happened?” he asked. It was muffled… his face was pressed against my hair.

“He said ’I love you’… and… I didn’t say it back.”

It was silent for a minute. Then, he pulled away from the hug and looked at me. I stared back up at him, his face was soft. He opened his mouth to say something then closed it. I wonder…

“You’re shaking.” He said, rubbing his hands up and down my arms. It wasn’t until he said that that I realized how cold I was. “You should shower… get warm.”

“Will you be here when I get back?” I asked, stepping one foot into the bathroom.

“For as long as you want.” He whispered.