Midnight Rain

Just one day went by and I couldn’t face Zack. I was scared of the awkward silences and the odd glances. I was scared at what he would say or do. I let him inside me. He inside my brick wall I had put up at all times. I wanted to force him out, but as hard as I tried, I couldn’t. I nearly felt ten times better knowing that he was inside; I guess you could say I felt safer.

It was Saturday and I woke up with the sun. The soft snore’s coming from my uncles room told me that he was still home and he was still snoozing away. I didn’t mind. I got out of bed and walked over to the bathroom; I did what I had to do and walked back into my room. I pulled on a pair of cutoff jean shorts and a yellow tank top. I put on a pair of my black and white checkered flip flops and walked into the kitchen. I wasn’t feeling hungry, so I wrote my uncle a note and left it by the coffee pot. I slipped out of the front door without being making any sounds.

The streets had cars going both ways. Every one of them had a destination; most of them being work. I walked down the sidewalk kicking a small deformed rock. The sun was already up and the grass was slick with morning dew. I avoided the grass at all cost because I didn’t like it when my shoes were wet around the edges. I knew my foot would stay some what dry; I just didn’t like the idea of it.

My mind went from the grass back to Zack as I walked down the street; heading for the beach. I knew I wanted to let him in; I wanted to tell him everything. I also knew that it would be a large risk. A risk I am not willing to take. I turned down onto Main Street and headed for the beach. I had grown fond of the beach since I arrived in Huntington Beach. The walk was a short one. Before I knew it I was taking off my shoes and letting the hot sand make its way between my toes as I walked towards the waters edge.

The water was a bright blue. It looked cool and comforting. Not any people were on this side of the beach. I walked in the part of the water where only the cool liquid would cover the tops of my feet. I felt a smile creep onto my lips as the happy feeling that seemed to be erupting in the pit of my stomach. I nearly forgot how much I adored solitude and silence. A dry breeze blew making my hair dance in it from behind me. I could hear the waves crashing on the shore and having the water being pulled back out before more was pushed against my feet.

I licked my lips and remembered the kiss that Zack and I shared. I liked it much to my own surprise. It was like we had our own frequency flowing between our lips when they were touching. The frequency was like messages that didn’t need to be shared with words; actions speak louder. Normally I shy away from people; I didn’t like the conversations or the physical contact. It freaked me out a little bit because I felt like they were trying to invade my body, mind and soul. Zack is different. I want him to invade my mind. I want him to know my train of thought. I want him in my soul. I want him to invade my body just as he pleases. I couldn’t fight the fire I felt in my veins or the things that went through my mind. I may have been very sheltered over the years but I wasn’t stupid. I knew what sex was. I knew what it meant. I wanted it with him and that small fact scared me to death.

I, more then anything, wanted to cry. I didn’t want to have these feelings. I didn’t want to have these thoughts. I wanted them to go away. I haven’t heard from the voice of reason as he likes to call himself. I only didn’t like the voice when he was degrading me in some way, shape or form. I stopped walking when I was under the shadow of a palm tree. My feet still stood in the water and my shoes were still being held by my index and middle finger on my right hand.

“I didn’t think I would see you out here this morning.” That soothing voice said from behind me. The corners of my mouth pulled up to the top. I swallowed the smile that wanted to form on my lips. I turned around to see Zack standing only a few inches from behind me. His hands were shoved into the pockets of his blue jean trousers. His shirt was black and white checkered print with white buttons. The first four weren’t buttoned. It was a short sleeve; so you could see the beginning of his sleeve for his tattoos. His black hair was straight but it blew in the slight breeze. He smiled at me.

“Got up early.” I said looking at my feet and then looked back up at his smiling face and couldn’t help but smile back. “I decided to talk a stroll on the beach. What about you? Why are you up so early?” I asked as I began to walk again with Zack by my side. His shadow forecasted over me; but I didn’t mind.

“My Mother woke me up this morning when she was getting ready for work and I couldn’t go back to sleep.” He said with a sigh. I didn’t have to look at him to know that he was still tired and all he wanted to do was go back to sleep. “So, much like you, I decided to walk on the beach.” I could hear the smile in his voice.

It was quiet for a while. I was secretly hoping that he was going to bring up the kiss we shared; but at the same time I wish he wouldn’t. I sighed and walked over to a large rock that was surrounded by green plants with white and purple flowers on them. I sat on the rock and set my shoes on the ground. Despite the heat of the day the rock was cool beneath me. Zack sat next to me and I felt his arm brush up against my own. I hid my slight blush.

“So about what happened the other day.” Zack’s voice trailed off.

Oh shit…

“I was wondering.” Zack said. I could tell he was searching for the right words but I couldn’t be completely sure. “I was just curious…”Zack’s voice trailed. I was tempted to finish his sentence for him but I wasn’t completely sure where he was going with his question so I kept my mouth shut and waited. “Did you feel anything between us?”

I was shocked by the question but I wasn’t sure what to say. I wanted to say yes but in the back of my head I wondered if he would say that he was sorry because he didn’t. I feared rejection basically. I also didn’t want to say no and ruin my chances then have to explain my trains of thought at this moment some where down the line if I regretted it. I bit my bottom lip and let my heart over ride my better judgment. “Yes, I felt something.” I said in a low voice. I felt eh anxiety gripping me at the organs and pulling them out through my bully button. I wanted to be sick.

I turned to see a smiling Zack. I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not. I knew what guys mainly wanted but I couldn’t help but want that and so much more from this boy. “So did I.” His voice was soft and genuine. His eyes shined something that I couldn’t place. I smiled back at him. What does this information mean I couldn’t help but ask myself as Zack ran the back of his hand down my cheek.

“Would you like to give a relationship, as more then friends, a try?” He asked as his eyes searched my own. I saw a flame of hope burning within his and I wasn’t going to lie to him. I simply couldn’t.

“I would like that very much.” I whispered with a soft smile. Zack’s smile grew as he pressed his lips to mine gently. I felt a wave of nausea hit me hard not knowing what to expect from someone was a horrible feeling but I wasn’t sure if it was that or the fact that I had never actually kissed someone.

Zack places short, soft kisses on my lips that I was glad to return. I felt his tongue trail on my bottom lip and felt the anxiety do some work on my organs even more. I let him part lip lips and let him slide his tongue inside my mouth and explore it. I had never had a feeling such as this before. I felt my veins catch fire even more then they had the day before. I let my hand graze over his neck giving him chills. He ran his tongue over mine with a smirk. He was teasing me and he knew it. I rubbed mine against his softly with a smile. The feel of our moist tongues rubbing together made me feel so much alive. I couldn’t remember a time in my life when I had ever felt so alive. He ran his tongue over my own once more before he placed a soft kiss on my lips before he let his head rest on mine. I ran my thumb over his cheek and couldn’t help but smile. He was everything that I wanted and more.

“I’ve wanted to do that since I first laid my eyes on you, Amanda.” Zack breathed. His warm breath masked my face. He smelt of cigarettes and something sweet; I couldn’t place the aroma. His words scent a wave of joy though me. I couldn’t stop myself from smiling again. “You’re so beautiful.” He said just barely above a whisper. I didn’t think I was supposed to hear that last part but I did and I felt my thank you to myself.

I kissed his lips again; earning a smirk from him. I pulled away and got off of the rock and grabbed my shoes. I looked back and saw Zack still sitting there. “Are you coming or what?” I asked with a short laugh. Zack smirked and caught up to me. He laced his fingers with my own and we made our way down the beach.