Midnight Rain

The rest of the school day passed quickly after lunch time. I still had to stand before a crowd of people, judging me, to tell them my name and where I moved here from. My anxiety wasn’t almost gone until the final bell rang. I hurried to my locker, which was in E hall. I had no home work so I just kept my book bag in my locker. I walked out of the school into the California sun shine with nothing in hand. I saw many students heading to cars, the bus area or going to a small parking lot where someone was picking them up. Hardly anyone was walking back to their house or where ever they desired to go after school. For that, I was thankful.

I started my journey home in silence. I thought about my incident today and lunch and how my secret had almost been let out. Some people would want other people to know so they would keep their distance. I was different from those people. I needed my secret to be kept. I couldn’t take having more awkward glances while I walked down the streets or down the hall way at school. I’m not sure if I could take it. I almost couldn’t take the curious glances today. I made a mental note to speak to my therapist about this late on in the week.

It was roughly two thirty when I arrived home. I opened the door to be met with the smell of something burning. I quietly closed to door and walked into the kitchen where I was face to face with a puff of smoke. I coughed and moved some of the smoke with my hand before walking over to a window and opening it. I heard a loud sizzle from the small kitchen. The walls were white with pictures of an animated chef on the walls. The counters were made of white tile. I could tell they hadn’t been cleaned in a while by their dullness.

“Uncle Bill?” I asked after getting coughs to die down. Now that I was in a place that I was familiar with and with someone that I was familiar with, the anxiety and anxiousness was washed away until tomorrow morning when I would have to go through the same thing all over again. It was depressing in a way.

“Hey Amanda how was school today?” He asked after most of the smoke was clear. He was awake now I could tell. His hair was brushed, his eyes were shining bright and he wore a smile. He had on a pair of blue jeans and a black wife beater. Sometimes I found myself wondering if he owned something besides wife beaters.

“Horrible.” I grumbled sitting at the breakfast bar. Bill handed me a can of Pepsi and gave me a sympathetic smile. He said nothing and I took that as a sign to tell him why it was so bad. I sighed before popping open the can and beginning again. “Anxiety is what made it so bad. There was this guy that was nice but he was pushing me to tell him why I came here. Not to mention the fact that while him and his friends were talking I remembered what I did to my Mother. I cried silently before one of his friends noticed and pointed it out. I was about to tell him I was fine before the bell rang and I booked it back into the building.” I said remembering my unforgettable day at Huntington Beach High. I took a sip of my beverage.

“Who was the guy that wouldn’t stop pushing you to tell him why you came here?” Uncle Bill asked getting some things from the fridge. He got a loaf of bread and come peanut butter and jelly and started to make two sandwiches. When I didn’t answer he looked up at me once before going to making his sandwiches. “Do you remember his name?”

“The guy that wouldn’t stop pushing me was Brian Haner. The one that pointed out my silent tears today at lunch was Matt; on of Brian’s friend. Then there was Brian’s other friend Zack-he just asked the normal questions. Like what’s you name? Where’d you move here from? Did you like it back where you used to live?- you know the normal questions.” I said telling Uncle Bill thank you after he handed me a sandwich. I hadn’t realized how hungry I was until I got the food. I took a bit and waited Uncle Bill’s reaction.

“I know him and his parents.” Uncle Bill shook his head as he was putting his ingredients away. He looked at me and sighed shaking his head. He took a bit of his sandwich. The way he was eating it, he took large bites and chewed slowly to keep him from talking, made me think that he knew something that I didn’t.

“What are you not telling me?” I asked raising an eye brow, keeping my eyes on him, as I took a drink of my Pepsi. I was getting full after the first three small bites. My eating habits have changed and I didn’t like them.

Uncle Bill swallowed his bite of his sandwich. He stayed silent as he looked at his food. He sighed before looking at me. I was worried about what he was about to say, I wasn’t sure why, I just was. “I’ve known him since he was a kid.” He said taking a sip of his beer he had beside his sandwich; I hadn’t noticed it sitting there. I turned my eyes from his alcohol back to him. “He is persistent. He will not give up until he gets his answers. Watch what you say around him.” The door bell rang and Uncle Bill went to the front door to answer it. When he opened the front door a ray of sun slight washed over into the house. Uncle Bill kept the blinds closed most of the time.

“Oh hello. I heard you met my niece today at school.” Uncle Bill said letting the guy in. I was sure it was one of three people or it could be all three of them. I was a bit shocked at how they, or he, knew where I lived. I raised my eye brow as Brian walked into the kitchen.
Brian smiled warmly at me. I nodded once in his direction.

“Yeah, Amanda’s a cool girl.” Brian said with a small laugh. I took my plate to the sink and washed it, keeping a close eye on Brian. I was a bit freaked out by him at this point. I turned my eyes to the task at hand. I was trying to reassure myself that he was just a teenage and this kind of thing happened all the time. I rinsed the suds from my dish and began to towel dry it.

“Is there something you needed?” I heard Uncle Bill ask. I could sense a form of defense on his side. He was protective over me. Bill had even told me that it was better if no one knew that had happened in Idaho for obvious reasons. I had told him I felt exactly the same reasons. I now knew that with Brian around I was going to have to control my emotions and watch what I say. After all, according to Uncle Bill Brian is persistent and doesn’t give up until he gets his answers. I put my dish away and on the counter was , the only, medicine that I had to take. I took out the small blue pill and took it with my Pepsi.

“You have a headache?” Brian asked when I turned around. I shook my head yes so there would be no more questions asked. Brian nodded but frowned. “I was going to ask you if you would want to come and hang out with me and some of my friends but since you have headache, then maybe it’s not the best idea.” Brian rambled giving me a weak smile. I didn’t really have a headache; I felt fine. I took one of my pills because I couldn’t afford any messing up. I smiled slightly.

“The pain will subside. Sure, I’ll go and hang out with your friends and yourself.” I said with a light tone. I threw my empty can of Pepsi away before waving by to my Uncle Bill. He smiled half heatedly when I walked out of the house with Brian. I knew that he was happy that I was finally getting out there to meet new people but I could see the regret in his eyes as I walked out the door. I knew he was worried about my secret getting let out. To tell you the truth, I was scared too.

We walked down the street in silence. The sun wasn’t as high in the sky any more so the temperature dropped a few degrees. The leaves were still scratching against the concrete as our silent walk progressed. I had always thought that California was a very hot, dry place. A place where it was hardly every windy; just an all in all dry place. Much to my surprise when I had arrived that the weather was nothing to what I had suspected.

I glanced at Brian when he pulled out a cigarette and lit up. I got a respectable amount of the stench swaying it's way into my nostrils. I scrunched up my face and kept my mouth shut. I saw Brian smirk out of the corner of my eye. My stomach clenched and I felt my palms begin to sweat. I had a bad taste in my mouth as it started doing dry until there was no moisture left inside. Then he did what I had assumed he would.

"So we are going to where my friends and I hang out all the time after school." Brian said taking a long drag of his cigarette. Within seconds he exhaled a blue, grey smoke from his nose and mouth. The smell was awful but the sight was something to be seen.

"And where would this be?" My voice didn't come out as snappy as I would have hoped like it normally would have if I had, indeed, had a head problem. I looked at Brian whom seemed to be deep in thought. To my surprise he wasn't chatting my ear off; and that was alright with me.

We kept walking down the street; turning down a few streets. Still Brian had said nothing of where we were going. Normally it would make me happy that he wasn't attempting to have a conversation with me but now since I didn't know where we were heading and he wasn't saying anything my anxiety and anxiousness came back with more power then it had when I was at school.

"Here we are." Brian said walking down an alley. I felt dread wash all over my body as I followed him. I felt some of it subside as I heard the laughing of male and female voices. I still couldn't shake my uneasy feeling. We came into view with the two boys that I had met today at lunch and then some others I had never seen before a day in my life.

There were tow more boys and two girls. The first one I saw off the bat was the shortest in the group. His hair was bleached white around black spots. It was an expressive hair style; I had never seen anything like it before. He had a silver hoop on the side of his nose. He had a five o'clock shadow going on. He, as well as most of the guys, had some tattoo's along his arms. He had on a white shirt with Mickey Mouse on it with a pair of black straight legged jeans. The other guy was the tallest guy by far. His hair was black; short in he back and framed his face in the front. His hair was perfectly straight. He had on some black eye make up against his blue eyes making them pop. He had a black ball on his bottom lip; some sort of piercing.

There was two girls as well. One of them was a blond bomb shell. Her hair reached her collar bone. Her skin was fare above all making her pink lips and hazel eyes stand out on her body. The girl sitting next to her was also in the arms of the blue eyed boy. Her hair was a dark brown with some light brown highlights. Her eyes were a deep brown burning against her caramel skin tone. She was nodding her head to what the short boy was taking about. While I spotted Matt and Zack having a small, quiet conversation amongst themselves.

"Guys." Brian said loud enough so most of the talking and laughing was settled down. Everyone's eyes landed on us. I felt so self conscious under the eye of such beautiful people. I wanted to go back to my uncles house and not go to school for at least a month. "This is Amanda. Amanda you already know Matt and Zack." He pointed to the two boys. Matt looked at me as if silently asking me why are you here? It was a good question but I didn't have the answer. Zack smiled at me and winked. Now, I really wanted to leave.

"The tall guy is Jimmy, the girl he is holding onto is his girl Lee. The guy next to Lee is Johnny and the girl sitting next to him is Val; Matt's girl." Brian said pointing out all of the people who seemed to be giving me warm smiles. My eyes landed on Val. My breath caught in my throat. I could hardly breath. She smiled warmly at me and I couldn't bring myself to smile at her; all I could do is keep my panicking state under control and my face blank.

"So Amanda.." Johnny said after I took a seat away from them. I was sitting up against the wall wityh my legs pulled to my chest. They were still close enough so I could hear them and see them but I wasn't sitting by any of them. "Brian told us a lot about you." Johnny wiggled his eye brows and Val smacked him in the back of the head.

"Not nice Johnny." Val harshly whispered. Johnny shrugged his shoulders. My eyes fell on Brian who seemed to be giving Johnny a death glaring which Johnny seemed to be shrinking under it. I linked a few times and turned my eyes to the floor. I suppose we were outside of apartment buildings because there was no strange smell coming from the buildings.

I saw someone out of the corner of my eye sit next to me and nudge my shoulder. I felt my body tense up as I jerked my head to the side only to see Zack smiling at me. His facial features seemed illuminated against the pale moon light with assistance from the small light over head at the top of the building. I raised my eye brow and set my chin on my knees.

"Can I ask you something?" Zack's calming voice said all too smoothly. It scent a shiver down my spine. I bit my lover lip hard and nodded. I was expecting Zack to ask the same questions as Brian had during English. "Why do you isolate yourself from every one?" His voice was just above a whisper making him seem all the more mysterious.

I looked at him. His eyes were a soft green. I had never seen such beautiful eyes on such a remarkable face before in my life. Though; it was still much to early to tell, I had an assumption that he was like my guardian angel. I licked my lips and twisted my face up into thought. I knew, by his eyes, that he meant well. There had only been one person in the world that I would have never lied too; that person was Ana. Now she was gone and, so it seemed, that God may have laid this boy in my lap for a reason. Until I could figure out what this reason was; I refuse to lie to him.

"I don't trust myself." I whispered back calmly. His face changed from hope to confusion as the words seemed to flow freely from between my lips. I turned my eyes back to the ground in hope I didn't screw up.