Do You Think You're Up For This?

”Taking everything for granted but we still respect the time. We move along with some new passion knowing everything is fine.” – Panic! at the Disco

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Michael grabs my hand and we leave the doctor’s office, our new ultrasound pictures in hand.

I’m happy today.

The doctor says our baby is perfectly healthy, which I’d been worried about, considering all my stress while on tour. And me stressing about my stressing wasn’t helping the matter much, either.

It’s the day before the guys’ (minus Michael) tour with Cobra Starship.

The first show is here in Chicago tomorrow night, so the timing just seemed right to throw a shower today, before they all leave. Jude even flew in for it and is going to stay in Chicago for a few weeks to catch up with me and Suzie.

Everything is set; Seb is filling in for Michael, and from what I’ve gathered, the fans aren’t even that upset that Michael’s not going to be on this tour and with me instead. And the ones that are most upset seem to at least understand the circumstances.

I’m not even as bothered by my growing stomach anymore, aside from my sore feet and back and other physical pains. I’m convinced it’ll be worth it.

The press doesn’t bother us much, either. I think they much prefer to follow Suzie’s rollercoaster relationships rather than my marriage or Jude and Seb’s social lives in L.A. Suzie carries enough drama on her back for us all, but her being with Mike has definitely slowed paparazzi-like interest.

Lately, everything’s seemed so…right.

Everything’s come a long way from being problematic to being perfect.

I tuck the envelope of our pictures into my purse for safekeeping and Michael helps me into the passenger’s seat.

We’re soon on our way to my parents’ house for the baby shower after a quick stop at home to change. Suzie, Courtney, my aunt, and Victoria are all there when we arrive, helping my mom set up.

“It looks great!” I tell them. They’ve decorated the backyard better than I could have ever done. “Can I help with anything?” I offer, feeling the need to do something to keep busy.

“No!” Courtney, Victoria, and Suzie exclaim at the same time.

“Sit your ass down and let us take care of everything for once,” Suzie sternly instructs me, sitting me down on a nearby chair to watch them finish setting up.

I fidget in boredom for awhile when I suddenly feel hands on my shoulders from behind me.

“I’m going to pick up the food with your dad,” Michael says in my ear, kissing me on the cheek. “Listen to Suzie. You’re not supposed to being doing anything.”

“Okay,” I reply, turning to smile at him.

Thankfully, I don’t have to wait around much longer.

The rest of Cobra joins us, followed by Jude, Seb, Mike, the Butcher, William, Sisky, Jack, Tony, and the rest of my family. Michael and my dad return with the catering, and everything runs smoothly from there.

“Watch it, pregnant rockstar coming through,” Suzie announces, while I navigate myself through the seats and tables in order to start opening the gifts.

Considering that the girls I know are limited to Suzie, Victoria, Courtney, and other family members, we invited our guy friends as well, so that Michael could be there without feeling weird.

Meaning, of course, that my baby shower was a free-for-all in my parents’ backyard.

Nothing new.

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“Hey Suze,” Alex says.

“Hi,” I reply quickly, as I brush past him on my way back from the bathroom.

I’ve been somewhat avoiding being alone with Alex all evening.

We’ve exchanged small talk, made a few inside jokes, and shared one awkward hug upon his arrival, all in the presence of Mike or at least one of our friends.

Now I’m just trying to stick by Mike’s side, to which he’s considerably conscious of.

Not that he’s trying to shove me off somewhere, but I obviously don’t do clingy. Tonight, it’s as if we’re one of those attached-at-the-hips couples that always make me want to vomit.

“Can we talk?” he whispers in my ear. “Inside?” I nod and he leads me into the house, up the stairs and into Rae’s old bedroom, where everyone’s coats and purses sit on the unused bed.

“Are you feeling okay?” he asks me.

“Yeah. What do you mean?” I quickly try to play it off. He frowns a little, his eyebrows scrunching closer together above his eyes.

“Just…I mean…you usually want to hang out with Victoria or Alex when we’re all together, since you don’t see them that much, so, I mean...”

“Is is possible that I might want to be with you because you’re leaving tomorrow?” I retort. I say it because it’s the first thing that pops into my head.

It’s not a lie.

I will miss him, and I do want to be with him.

It’s just not the whole truth.

Apparently, it’s the right thing to say. His lips curl into a smile and he draws closer to me, his hands on my hips. He closes the gap between us, his fingers sliding up my shirt and massaging my skin while he sucks at my neck. I wind my fingers into his hair.

“Classy, Mike. In Rae’s old bedroom,” I joke, although it's more turning me on than anything else. He mumbles something incoherent against my skin. I find myself being backed into the dresser and he helps life me up to sit on it more comfortably.

I wrap my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck, connecting our lips again. I forget all about avoiding Alex meanwhile our tongues clash and his hands wander up my skirt.

“I’m going to miss you, too,” he says, once we pause for breath.

The next time I open my eyes is when I vaguely hear the door opening, light invading the previously darkened bedroom. I immediately pull all limbs away from Mike, who also turns in surprise as I hop back off the dresser.

“Sorry-” the intruder starts, an uncomfortable look in his eyes at his realization. My face heats up, cheeks burning insanely. I tug down my skirt and fix my now-wrinkled shirt to avoid Alex’s eyes. “I-sorry,” he repeats, quickly grabbing his coat off the bed and closing the door behind himself, leaving us in semi-darkness.

Mike tries to kiss me again, but the moment’s passed by then, and it's too late to be repaired.