Sinister Smile With a Hole in My Heart

Kate Smith, the girl Jack loved and knew better then himself, physically looked to be in bad shape. She’d always been thin, by Jack didn’t like the way her hip bones now protruded out noticeably.
She was wearing her favorite jeans. A designer pair that she’d been longing for that Jack had bought her for an anniversary present. They used to sexily mold to her body just right but now they hung loosely on her.
And lastly Jack noticed the dark circles under her eyes. The way she looked it was as if she hadn’t slept for days.
However despite her new flaws, she looked just as beautiful as ever to him.
His. His Katie.
After an uncomfortable amount of looking each other over, Kate gave Jack her signature side smile. Lightly biting the right corner of her bottom lip. The sight of his tall, lanky body and boyish face made her smitten all over again.
“Jack,” she said warmly and went in for a hug.
The two fit together so perfectly. It was natural. Kate’s arms looped above her, around Jack’s neck and met at the nape of his head. Jack’s left arm surrounded her torso and gently lay on her lower back. His right arm wrapped around her right below her chest and held her close to him. His chin sat atop her head just right and neither of them realized they had been holding each other a tad too long, until Drew let out a wail from upstairs.
“Aw, someone’s not happy.” Kate joked as the two awkwardly untangled.
“What are you doing here?” Jack questioned getting straight to the interrogation with out even the pleasantries.
The small redheaded girl faltered a bit.
“You don’t want me here…?”

“I love you here,” Jack looked down and paused. “But Seattle…it was your dream.”
“was. Dreams can change Jack. Honestly, when I didn’t come home over the summer, it was because I was afraid if I came home, I wouldn’t be able to go back.”
Jack’s brow contorted in confusion.
“But you loved SU, and the city.”
Kate sighed and ran her fingers through her hair trying to start again.
“Last week, I was trying to distract myself,” she started one of her, often long, rants. “I was talking to my mom on the phone. She kept talking about home. The fall festival. The Muller’s annual end of the summer blow out. Jill and Drew. Just mindless chatter,” she continued. “And I literally had to hang up the phone to prevent myself from buying an airline ticket. Anyway, I was going through my dressers, like I said, to distract myself; and buried away I found this,” She reached into her handbag and handed Jack something black and soft. Gently Jack unfolded it.
The band’s first official tee shirt. A black tee with white elegant script spelling out “all time low”, a red crooked heart sat beneath it.
Kate had made the design and printed up a shirt for each of the boys for a Christmas gift, when they started to become recognizable around town.
The night before she left home for school after she’d come to comfort the Barakat family, she had found Jack’s in his top drawer.

“Look what I’ve found!” Kate exclaimed smiling big.
“Hmm?” Jack asked coming up behind her.
Kate gently took out the crumpled shirt from the disarrayed drawer.
“Our first shirt,” Jack mused taking it out of her hands.
“You hated it,” Kate laughed a little masking a bit of hurt.
“No, I didn’t,” Jack said taking on a sudden seriousness he’d never quite took in the prior twenty years of his life. As if to prove his point, he whipped his current shirt on and threw the other shirt on instead. Striking a model pose and throwing on a goofy grin he seemed to once again gain his silly manner.
“Cute,” Kate said smiling slightly then looking back down in the drawer immediately, a sudden sadness came over her.
Jack didn’t seem to notice her change in demeanor, and squeezed her ticklish sides in a playful manner.
“What are you doing in there anyway, snoopy?” he asked
Kate shrugged turning her head. Jack playfully turned the girl he loved around, even though they were not currently together.
“What’s wrong?” Jack was confused at her visible upset state.
“I go back to school tomorrow, and I’m sad to be leaving…you.”
“Baby-,”
“And here I am crumbling…and-and YOUR dad just died. I came to comfort you and now you have to-,”
Seeing the girl he’d grown to love more with the years. His first kiss. His first sexual partner. His first love. Jack couldn’t resist the urge to pull her closer and press his lips to hers. Pulling himself away after a few moments, he scolded himself.
“I shouldn’t have…-,”
Kate shut him by resuming the action, and Jack discarded the shirt he’d just put on.

++++

The sound of Jack’s soft snores awakened Kate who happened to be a light sleeper. Opening her eyes to the clock, she instantly hopped out of the bed.
“Shit! I’m late.”
Hearing those words, for a male, in any context is enough to awaken them as well and Jack was no exception as his eyes popped open.
“My plane leaves in an hour!” she exclaimed.
“Can you take a later flight?” Jack asked hoping to coax her back into bed in his incoherent state.
“No…uh, no-where is my damn shirt?!” Kate stressed turning over blankets and looking everywhere while sliding into her jeans.
“Here,” jack said throwing her the all time low shirt. “Wear this. Bring it with you to think of me.”

“This was all it took me to realize, that if I had to convince myself to stay in Seattle.; that if I had to deprive myself of contact with everyone I love back home so that I wouldn’t flee at the drop of a hat, that I probably shouldn’t be there. And after that, I was on the first flight out of Washington.”
Jack was speechless. His brain seemed fried and he didn’t know what to say, or what this particular visit met in the future of him and Kate, but even he knew he had to say something. Kate was looking at him expectantly.
Say something! he yelled at himself.
“Oh.”
Yes, Jack said 'oh.' And as soon as he said it, he accompanied it with 'shit' in his head knowing he had flunked the test.
Kate tilted her head and opened her mouth to say something, but before she could was interrupted by a voice behind her.
“Hi, I’m looking for Jill?”
Kate turned around and Jack looked over her head to see who the unfamiliar voice belonged to. Kate instantly recognized him as the boy from the mall earlier.
Alex-Will as she’d called him.
Jack took in the boy at the front door.
He was tall, around Jack’s height and also had black hair.
However he was bigger then Jack and had large athletic muscles that Jack would never admit intimidated him.
The boy also had a boyish face and couldn’t be over 19.
Alex/Will recognized Kate as well, from earlier and sent her a smile, then turned his attention back to Jack.
“Is she in?” he asked politely.
“Who can I say is here?” Jack grilled him.
“Will,” Alex/Will said smiling remembering her special new name for him.
“Hold on,” Jack said turning his back to them, but then turning around again to Kate.
“You can come in,” he directed at her mostly yet both of them stepped in and shut the door behind them trying to make polite conversation and Jack went up the stairs.
Opening the door to the nursery, he found his sister just laying her sleeping son in his crib. He opened his mouth to speak but she quickly covered his mouth with her hand and nodded her head towards the door signaling, we’ll talk outside.
Jack went for the door and Jill followed grabbing one of the monitors on the way out of the room and quietly shut the door.
“What?” she asked slightly squinting her eyes.
“You have a visitor.” Jack said tilting his head and also squinting his eyes.
“Who is it?” Jill asked genuinely curious.
“Will?” Jack said it more like a question although it was supposed to be a statement.
Jill’s eyes widened and she quickly made her way down the stairs. Sure enough, when she got downstairs, Will was standing in the foyer along with Kate.
“Hi?” Jill said smiling yet surprised.
Alex/will smiled back, “hey.”
“Come in here,” she said leading him into the dining room and gave Jack, who had followed her downstairs, the evil eye conveying, Don’t you dare follow me, or eavesdrop or I will kill you, without actually an saying a word to her nosy brother.
“So,” Jill said sitting down and signaling for Alex/Will to do the same. “What are you a stalker,” she teased.
Alex/Will turned crimson at the comment but kept his cool.
“Actually, you forgot this at the mall.” He handed Jill her wallet to which she turned red. “And it had your address right on your ID. No lurking needed.” He smiled a brilliant smile that melted Jill and actually made her forget the other Alex for a moment.
“Now I feel kind of like an ass.” Jill admitted placing the tip of index finger in her mouth beginning to chew on it.
“Well, if you feel really bad, you can let me take you out for such a chivalrous deed,” Alex/Will flirted, and Jill couldn’t help but giggle. A not so subtle, audible scoff and slap told Jill that her brother was listening not so stealthily and Kate was as well. A pause from Alex/Will and Jill had been enough to let them know that they were found out and a moment later two pairs of footsteps were audible going up the stairs.
“Uhm, well-,” Jill stalled as soon as they were emerged in silence again.
“You have a boyfriend.” Alex/Will sighed and finished for her.
“Well no, yes. Sort of. See I do have a boy in my life, but not the way you’re thinking.” Jill pulled the baby monitor from her pocket and placed it on the table.
“I’m kind of a mom,” she said with a slight smile. This was the first time she had had to make this revelation to a guy she could potentially date, and Jill had anticipated this moment since she was pregnant and had thought about dating in the future. Granted she thought that it was be a little more off in the future, and that the first couple guys at least would take off running.
Alex/Will raised his eyebrows surprised. And Jill prepped herself for him to make a pleasant farewell and book it right on out of there, so she was surprised when he smiled and let out a relieved laugh.
“That’s all?”
“Well a baby is kind of a big deal,” she said pointed out at his nonchalant attitude.
“I thought you were going to say you were married or something.” Alex/Will revealed.
“Well, no. Just an unwed mother here,” Jill joked somewhat uneasily. “It’s just I wasn’t expecting you to still be so open to taking me out since you found out that I have a child.”
“Well,” Alex/Will said taking on a more serious air, “My mother was a young single mother, who went through a lot before she met my dad and I guess I just don’t discriminate on those things,” he said smiling.

+++

Alex Gaskarth sat in his car rapidly tapping his steering wheel with the tips of his fingers. He was sitting outside of a store that he’d only considered going into one other night.
About nine months ago.
He didn’t know if it was for love or obligation. Selflessness or selfishness. But for whatever reason, Alex was not finding reasons to stay sitting on his butt instead of getting up and going into the store.
Not that buying something in that store, promised anything for him.
It was step one. Step two and the response to that would be the hard part to deal with.
Don’t over think this. Listen to your heart.
The lyrics to a song on the radio on an oldies station, sang to him.
That’s it. I’m going. he swiftly left his car and entered Helzberg diamonds.

+++

Michelle flopped down on her bed and tried to resist the urge to look at her cell phone for the fifth time in two minutes. She couldn’t for the life of her figure out why Alex was not calling her.
Yes, she liked him. A lot. Too much even.
But it’s not like she conveyed that to him.
She was pretty sure that she had conveyed the fact to him that they were, to her, just casual buddies who slept together. A lot. And if he had read past her hard exterior on her true feelings, he hadn’t given any indication. He was just perfectly fine with their little arrangement.
Looking at her phone one more time, Michelle growled at herself for being pathetic. The phone was on vibrate, which she knew yet she couldnt tear her eyes away
Closing her eyes to prevent temptation, Michelle remembered the first time her and Alex had gotten together, nine months ago.

Michelle, alone and seventeen had found herself at Dame’s. A local bar.
Her smile had gotten her entry with the bouncer, and her fake ID was supplying the drinks tonight.
Michelle never really fit in with people her age, they were as she liked to call them, high school bottom feeders and would much rather go out with her cousins, Jack and Jill and their friends. But tonight no one was around. Jill hadn’t answered when Michelle called. And Jack was already out and barely understandable by the time she reached him.
People-watching and on drink number three, with a wallet getting lighter, Michelle was beginning to get bored. Deciding she was done she left a tip under her glasses and stumbled a little out of the bar.
Walking under the awning of the strip mall, she spotted a familiar figure walking towards a jewelry store.
“Hey Gaskarth!” she slurred out at the boy who stopped and turned in her direction. He seemed to also have quite a buzz on as he slurred back at her.
“Mini-Mini Barakat.” He said looking her up and down with his gained booze confidence. “You look good.”
Michelle broke out into a grin for the boy she’d secretly always harbored a crush on.
“What are you doing going into the jewelry store?” she asked slightly pressing against him.
“Nothing anymore,” he smiled at her. “What are you doing?”
“Nothing anymore,” she said giving him the same sultry smile back.
And there had began the two’s pattern of bed hopping. With each other.
Michelle’s cell phone went off interrupting her memory. The vibrating alert she’d been waiting for.
“Hey,” she answered on the second rind a bit too eager for her taste.
“Hi,” Alex paused. “I’m outside. Can you come out?”
Michelle hung up without an answered and shimmied her way out of her window, onto her roof and swung on a branch down the tree, and out to Alex’s car.
“Hey babe,” she said leaning in to kiss him but Alex turned his head a bit, leaving the gloss mark on his cheek. Michelle furrowed her brow in confusion.
“Listen, Michelle-,” Alex turned to face her and as he did, something slid out of his pocket. He bent down to pick it up, but Michelle beat him to it.
A small black, velvet box.
Even more confused but less intrusive then most high school girls her age, she handed the box back to Alex who was now breaking in a sweat.
“Just. I-Look,” he said opening the box to her before he went on.
Michelle almost fainted. Inside was what she thought it would be. A small, elegant engagement ring.
“Are you proposing to me?!”