Somewhere Over the Rainbow

Friday, November 4, 2016
Lexi’s 6th Birthday
Joe’s POV

I was running a tight schedule. I had to rush to the airport with Jake to pick up Lexi’s presents. After dropping them off at the house I had to rush right back into town to pick Lexi up from school. I got there just in time… she came out smiling and hugged me tight.

“So it looks like someone had a good day at school.” I said, waving to Madeline as we walked to the car. As far as I knew… Luke was still being chicken and hadn’t asked her out.

“We had a party. Miss Maguire brought in cupcakes for me… she said she does it for everyone’s birthdays and they sang to me and we had lots of fun. I like it a lot at this school now. Gabby even gave me a present.”

“What did she give you?” I asked as I pulled out of the parking lot. I smiled into the rearview mirror at my daughter as she exuberantly explained the present her first friend from Stars Hollow had given her.

“Can she come over sometime?” she asked after her explanation.

“Of course. Maybe next week.” I said, pulling into our driveway. I unbuckled myself and turned to look at her. “I have a surprise for you.”

“A surprise?” she asked, her eyes going wide.

“Yupp,” I said, climbing out of the car. I pulled Jake out and helped Lexi down. “Close your eyes and squeeze them tight.”

She scrunched her face up and held onto my hand. I carefully led her up the stairs and I could hear Lucky barking as she heard us on the porch. I opened the door and led Lexi into the living room.

“Okay… open your eyes.” I whispered.

“Surprise!”

“No way!” she screeched running into the arms of her aunts and uncles. I smiled bright as Kevin, Nick, Lauren, and Lana embraced their niece. Brody was laughing and clapping his hands as Lexi gave him a kiss. She then ran over to me and jumped into my arms.

“Happy Birthday baby girl.”

“Daddy this is one of the best presents ever!” she said giving me a kiss. She then ran back over to her aunts and uncles. “Auntie Lana your tummy is so big!”

“Well it should be.” Lana said laughing.

“Wait no… Lana she’s right. You’re really big for six months… gigantic almost.” I said, sitting on the couch next to Lauren handing her Jake and taking Brody.

“That’s because she’s having twins.” Nick said smiling wide.

“Seriously?” I asked, standing up and hugging Lana.

“Yes. Do you want to know what they are or are you going to be Mr. Stubborn?” She asked, keeping her hands on her stomach.

“Oh just let me know.” I said rolling my eyes.

“One boy and one girl. We get our little Melissa.” She whispered and I gave her a small smile.

“What about the boy?” I asked, clearing my throat. I know it will be hard… but it’s what they want.

“We’re thinking of Tyler.” Nick said. “Joe… if you don’t want us to name her Melissa you can just tell us.”

My brother sure as hell can read me like an open book. I didn’t realize I had done anything to make them think I didn’t want it. I shrugged my shoulders and sat up so I could look Nick and Lana in the eyes.

“Look… yes it’s going to be awkward and slightly uncomfortable for me to start calling someone by that name again but it’s what you guys want. I can’t shy away from every person named Melissa for the rest of my life. It’s what she would have wanted… I love you both and this is your decision. You don’t need my permission.”

“Thank you Joe,” Lana said taking my hand with teary eyes. “We love you too.”

“Okay… enough of this.” I said, sitting up. “Let’s celebrate. I hope you guys don’t mind but a friend of mine is coming over with his daughter.”

“Names?” Kevin asked.

“Luke and Chloe. Luke owns the diner in town… Chloe has baby-sat for the kids when I’ve needed more time developing photos. They’re really nice people.”

“Can’t wait to meet them. So Lexi want to show us around?” Lauren asked standing up.

“Yeah! Come on.” Lexi said, taking Lauren’s and Kevin’s hands. Nick helped Lana up and they started to follow.

“You coming Joe?” Nick asked.

“No… I have to go check something in the studio out back. I’ll be right back.” I said, handing him Brody.

I walked out the backdoor to my studio. The key was in my pocket… I pulled it out and unlocked the door, closing it behind me. My body started to shake as I pressed my back against the door and slid down to the floor. Breathe Joe! I thought. I was over-whelmed. Lexi’s first birthday without Lyss… a niece on the way to be named Melisa… I just… I needed a break. I needed to calm myself down.

“Joe do you have the banner hung yet?” Lyss called from upstairs where she was dressing Lexi.

“I’m working on it.” I called back. “It’s a little hard doing it by myself.” I muttered.

“I heard that.” She said, coming down the stairs, our daughter in her hands.

“There’s my Ally-Baby.” I said smiling, dropping the banner and taking her out of Lyss’ arms. “I can’t believe she’s a year old.”

Lexi looked up at me with her brown eyes so similar to mine and laughed. I smiled and stroked her cheek. She grabbed onto my hand… her fingers were so tiny and soft. I looked up and Lyss was smiling down at us.

“What?” I asked.

“You’re a really great Dad, you know that?” she asked, putting her hand on my cheek.

“I try,” I said shrugging, leaning in to give her a kiss. “You’re a great Mom.” I whispered, my lips still against hers. She slipped her arms around my neck and kissed me again. “Lyss… Lexi.” I said, pulling away with a laugh.

“Right. Sorry baby girl.” She said, leaning down and kissing Lexi. “Come on… everyone will be here soon.” She said, picking up the forgotten banner. I set Lexi in her pen and together, Lyss and I hung the banner for our daughter’s first birthday.

A knock on the door pulled me out of my reverie. I hadn’t noticed I had been crying until I saw the tear stains on the sleeves of my sweater. I wiped my eyes and stood up, opening the door to reveal Lauren.

“Hey,” she whispered, her arms wrapped tight around her, our breaths clouding in the chilly November air. “You okay? You seemed a little… tense in there.”

“I’m good.” I said, my voice breaking a little. I cleared my throat and walked out, locking the door behind me. We slowly walked side by side.

“You were crying.” She whispered. Not asking… stating.

“I was just… over-whelmed is all.”

“I understand. You’ve gone through a lot. You lost Melissa not that long ago and now you have to celebrate Lexi’s birthday without her for the first time. You moved out here to New York… started Lexi in a new school she didn’t like at first. You created a whole new life while still trying to hold onto Mel. I keep forgetting sometimes you know?”

“Really?” I asked, looking over at her. Her face was solemn. A light snow had begun to fall.

“Yeah… I’ll pick up the phone to call her and then remember… she won’t pick up. I’ll go into work and walk over to her cubicle and forget that it’s now Lana’s cubicle. I’m sure it’s the same for you sometimes?”

“Sure… sometimes yeah. If Jake’s crying in the middle of the night I’ll reach out to shake Lyss and then my hand hits air and I remember that it’s just me. Lexi’s actually trying to help. She wants to change his diaper but I won’t let her but she does feed him. It’s been five months but it’s still hard adjusting and everything. Sometimes... I'll put on our wedding song and just... remember.”

“Things will get better. I’m not sure if it will ever be 100% for any of us but we’ll get close.” She said, wrapping her arm around me. I gave her a hug and kissed the top of her head.

“Thanks.”

“For what?”

“I think I needed to let that out… and you’re the person I would have wanted to share it with anyway.”

“Anytime bro. Now come on, let’s have a party.”

*********************************************************************************

I wake up and tear drops
They fall down like rain
I put on that old song we danced to and then
I head off to my job
Guess not much has changed
Punch the clock
Head for home
Check the phone, just incase
Go to bed
Dream of you
Thats what Im doing these days

These Days - Rascal Flatts