Let My Heart Rest In Pieces

Let My Heart Rest In Pieces 040

Split

I was mad, angry, pissed. No, I was beyond that. I was seething with anger at this point, and I don’t even know if that could completely explain how damn angry I was. I had seen the looks on people’s faces when they saw me, and it was something close to fear. Everyone always feared and angry woman, it was a rule. But me, I was usually calm and polite, always smiling. This was the exact opposite of what I usually was, and that in itself was scary. Combine that knowledge with the first rule, and there was plenty of reason to be scared of me.

I hadn’t been in this foul of a mood when I got up this morning, but I had been peeved. Drake had not only been ignoring be for the past couple days, but he intentionally (I thought so anyway) missed out on something that was very important to me after he had promised to be there. Good boyfriends didn’t do that.

If he would have just apologized to me, I think we could have made up and been a semi-happy couple again. But you know what he did to make things even worse between us? He acted as if I didn’t exist. I walked into my third period class, expecting a heartfelt apology with him begging for me to forgive him. Instead, I saw him sitting on the other side of the room, acting as if everything was normal and I was nothing to him. This was the reason I was this angry right now.

When I stomped over to the lunch table, I was glad that he wasn’t going to be there or I might have used him as a punching bag to get rid of my anger. My body thought that it was a good idea, but my brain rationalized me to calm myself down. Not by much, but enough.

I sat down at the table and I saw my friends giving me concerned and fearful faces. I took a deep breath, trying to lighten my mood, but at this moment in time, it seemed impossible. Someone touched my closed fist, and I looked up to see that Frank had sat next to me and placed his hand over my fist.

“Envy, what’s wrong?” he asked me quietly, and the rest of my friends voiced in the same opinion. I gave them all a weak smile that didn’t quite reach my eyes.

“I don’t really want to talk about it,” I said, facing Frank, but talking to everyone, “but thank you all for caring.”

Everyone went back to normal, talking about the weird things that we usually ended up talking about. Some of the things said, usually by Bert, made me smile and want to laugh. I wasn’t acting like the usual Envy Moore, but I was making an effort, and that was good enough for me.

Thankfully, lunch ended quickly and I was free of my friend’s worried faces. I was about to sprint off to my Piano class when and arm wrapped around my waist. My first thought was of Drake, because he liked to do that a lot. But I knew it wasn’t him when the smaller body fit perfectly against my back as his arms held me close.

“Frank…” I started to say, but he shushed my by putting his head on my shoulder and holding me tighter.

“I’m worried about you Envy. This is definitely not you. Did one of us do something wrong?”

I shook my head, my hair lightly brushing against his face. “No, none of you guys here did anything wrong.”

“Drake then.”

I tensed just slightly, but pushed my anger down and nodded my head. “Do you want to talk about it?” he questioned.

“No, this is something me and him have to talk about. Thank you though.”

He kissed my temple and stood in front of me, giving that devious smile that he always seemed to be wearing. “Not a problem milady. It’s what best friends are for. I’ll see you in Seventh.”

And then he was gone, leaving a smile on my face as well.

~~~~~

“If you beat any harder on the piano, Miss Moore, it will break.”

I looked up from my hard concentration on the instrument in front of me to the tall teacher who towered over me. I gulped and gave him a sheepish smile.

“Um, sorry?” I squeaked out. He chuckled slightly and sat down on the bench with me, making me scoot over just a bit.

“I feel a very strong emotion in you Envy, and not a good one either.”

I grinned. “Is it that noticeable?”

“Only to those whose instruments you are trying to break.”

“Sorry,” I repeated.

“Why not let that emotion out through your playing?” Mr. Cell suggested, looking me straight in the eye.

“Isn’t that what I was just doing? You didn’t seem to like the piano abuse.”

A smile lit up his face and he shook his head. “I did not mean the beating of it, but channeling that feeling into what you are playing.”

His hands moved to the white and black keys, and he expertly started playing. His fingers moved slowly, giving the music he was playing a peaceful feeling, something that easily calmed me. I followed what he did, starting to play along with him, only on the other side of the piano.

Together we played a duet. It was simple, but held such depth and meaning. My anger slowly began to drain from me, and I felt much like myself again. We only ended our duet when the bell rang, making everyone rush out the door to leave. I looked over at Mr. Cell and gave him an appreciative look.

“Thank you,” I said quietly.

He just smiled and went back to playing as I walked away.

~~~~~

“-and then I got a detention for it!” Bert finished proudly, walking with us out of Volleyball when the bell had rung and we were all in our regular clothes again.

I shook my head at his nonsense. “I’ve noticed a pattern with your stories Bert. You always end up getting in trouble.”

He shrugged his shoulders, his long hair moving with him. “I guess, but the fun is totally worth it.”

“I don’t know, what about that one time when-“

“Never speak of it again,” the boy hissed at Dan, who was all smiles.

“Do I even want to know?” I asked Taylor.

“No, not really. Sometimes I wish I could erase that incident from my mind.”

I was about to reply to her comment, but was stopped when I saw who was standing not too far away from us all. When he knew he had my attention, he opened his mouth.

“We need to talk Envy.”

Everyone had their eyes locked on Drake’s looming form, his arms crossed over his chest and his brows pulled together slightly. If I hadn’t known him, I would have been intimidated. But I was not scared of him, but once again angry at him.

“Fine, let’s take a walk.”

“Envy,” I heard Roxy say from behind me before I cut her off.

“I’ll call you later Rox, see you all tomorrow guys.”

They all mumbled their goodbyes and I walked ahead of Drake, leading him outside and down the side walk. The direction we were walking was to my house, that way if I didn’t feel like talking to him anymore, I could just run home. Kind of cowardly, but I didn’t really care at this moment.

“Envy-“

“Don’t you Envy me,” I growled, moving away from the hand that he was about to place on my shoulder. I continued to march with him only a couple feet behind me.

“Why are you so angry with me?” he asked quietly. My mouth almost hit the floor, and I turned to him. He seemed completely confused. Was he really going to be this dense?

“You’ve been ignoring me Drake! And don’t even deny it, because it is true.”

“I have told you, I have been busy with teachers helping on the work I had missed.”

“What teacher were you working with yesterday to keep you from the audition that you promised to be there for?”

His eyes widened, and I could clearly see the guilty look on his face. Usually, that was enough to make me want to wash the pain away from his eyes, but I wanted him to hurt like he had done to me.

“I am so sorry, I forgot all about it.”

“Obviously,” I said bitterly.

“I really did mean to go with everyone else-“

“The fact is that you didn’t Drake. Everyone else was there except for you. You haven’t been there for me for a while. You are abandoning me just like Frank did. At least he came to his senses and came back to me.”

Drake’s eyes steeled, something that I hadn’t expected, but that didn’t keep me down. I was trying to read what had gotten him on the defense, but soon figured it out.

“Of course you would bring him up, wouldn’t you? That boy is like your pet, always hanging around you.”

“Excuse me?” I asked, glaring at him harder than before.

“Don’t play coy with me Envy, I know what is going on between the two of you. You have been too close these past weeks.”

“Maybe it was because you weren’t there. I needed a friend to be there, unlike you were.”

Drake laughed, not of joy, but of pure jealousy and hate. “Friend, you are still trying to pretend he is only your friend? I am not stupid Envy.”

I frowned at this, not knowing exactly what he meant. “What do you mean by that?”

“I’ve seen the way you look at one another, it is more than friendship. It is the look that lovers give one another.”

I scoffed at this, putting my hands on my hips as we argued. “Are you delusional? Frank is my friend, one of my best friends actually. He was trying to help with the loss of you being gone and ignoring me.”

He held up his hands, as if he was giving up, and I saw his shoulders slump to agree with that. “I will not argue more about this, you are in denial Envy. So far in that even I cannot dig you out.”

I went to tell him that I wasn’t in denial, that I knew Frank and I were only friends, but he started talking again. “Do you want to know why I have been ignoring you, pulling away?”

“So you really were ignoring me,” I accused. He just shrugged. This was not the Drake that I had known.

“I was. I am not going to lie about it now.”

“Why?” I asked quietly, losing my strength.

“I want rid of you, to break up, and I've wanted that for a while now. If I were staying, maybe things would work out, but I am not and you're still denying everything with Frank."

“What do you mean if you were staying?” I whispered, hurt by what he had said.

“I am moving back to my homeland, and I am glad for it. Being here in America has only caused me pain. You have caused me pain, and I can no longer take it. I want rid of you.”

“Say it as if you care!” I shouted, feeling the tears rolling down my cheeks.

“We are broken up Envy. I hope to see you no more around school, but that will seem impossible with a class together. We will hopefully ignore each other successfully.”

He went to walk away, but I grabbed his hand. He looked down at me, his brown eyes cold. “You said you loved me.”

“I thought I did,” he said sadly, “but it was a false feeling. Goodbye Envy.”

I watched him turn around and walk towards his home, not giving one look back. He really, truly did not care about me anymore.

I fell to my knees where I was, feeling the pain as the concrete hit my skin and welcoming it. I clutched my chest, sobs racking my body as I cried. We both had been lying to ourselves when we said ‘I love you’, so why did it hurt so much that I was left alone now?

Because I had loved him. Maybe not with all my heart, but I loved him. And even though he did not own my full heart, he had shattered it completely without a second thought.

I finally had the strength to get up, walking down the street with my shoulders hunched, the tears rolling like a never ending stream. When I reached my house, I passed it, going to the one right next door, where Gerard’s familiar car sat in the driveway. I walked up to the door, knocking on it. It didn’t take long for him to answer the door.

“Envy?”

I looked up at him, my eyes completely defeated, and I didn’t know what to do. Gerard did; he brought me into his arms, hugging me tightly. I hugged him back, not wanting to let go. I faintly heard him ask what had happened, but I shook my head.

“Please, drive me to Roxy’s,” I asked him, my voice hoarse.

He nodded, getting his keys and leading me towards his car. I never imagined my pale friend as a speeder, but he wanted me to get to my friend quickly, and he wanted to know what the hell was going on. Gerard was smart enough to figure out I didn’t want to talk about it without Roxy present.

When we reached her house, Ger helped me to the door and knocked loudly. Roxy’s small form opened the door, the first thing she saw was her boyfriend standing there. The smile that was on her face disappeared when she saw me.

“Envy!”

I threw myself in her arms, and she caught me, cradling me against her as I cried. She stroked my head, whispering sweet nothings into my ears, trying to calm me.

“Please sweetie, what's wrong? You’re worrying us.”

“He broke me,” I whispered, not really caring if she heard or not. It was more of me accepting what had just happened. It helped me control my emotions enough to look into the girl’s kind blue eyes.

“Drake broke up with me, said he wanted to be rid of me.”

Anger flashed in her eyes, something that rarely ever happened. But it was only a flash, and she was instantly back to hugging me against her. “I’m so sorry V.”

“Me too.”