Too Blind to See It!

**** Chapter 14

"Who is it?" I asked from the other side of the door.

"Jenna it's me!" My heart beat harder in my chest. How is it that just this man's voice was enough to send me into a frenzy? I looked at my watch seeing that he should have been in practice, and flung the door open.

"Are you Ok? Why aren't you at practice? You didn't get hurt did you?" He was pacing the hallway running his hands through his hair.

"I'm fine, I mean I'm a little…" His words died off and he hadn't stopped pacing to look at me and I was getting nervous.

"You never miss practice Zach. Are you sick or something?"

"I miss practice sometimes Jenna. I'm not the good boy you think I am."

I laughed at him. He was so cute getting slightly defensive, so I decided to egg him on a bit since he was so obviously flustered, but about what, I couldn't tell you. "You're not? Sure you are Zach you always do the right thing. I think you're a good boy." It was weird that he was still in the hallway and making absolutely no attempt to come in.

He abruptly stopped pacing and turned to look at me for the first time since I'd opened the door. A fire burned behind his eyes that I'd never really seen before. He looked a bit like a man possessed but in a good way, if that's possible. "I'm not a good boy. I'm not a good friend at least."

"What? What are you talking about? Are you going to come in?" I was very confused and a bit tired of standing in the doorway trying to make sense of what it was that was bothering him.

"I'm a terrible friend," he replied running his hand through his spiky brown hair again.

"Zach you're not making any sense. Why are you a terrible …" He stepped inside the door closing it behind him while I spoke and he cut my words short by pressing his finger to my lips. "Shhh, I'm going to show you why," he said softly. He removed his finger and replaced it with his lips. He caught me off guard yet again as his lips danced over mine taking me from reality to my dream world paradise where princes and princesses really do exist, find true love and live happily ever after.

As quickly as the kiss started it stopped. "That's why. Because I want to do that." Was he talking? I knew he was but I was still in a Zach induced coma and my lips still tingled. "I want to do that a lot. Do you understand what I'm trying to tell you?"

"You like me?" I asked softly feeling silly for my word choice.

He laughed a real laugh and pulled me in tight to him so that his lips hit my forehead. "Yes Jenna I like you. A-LOT. Now can I kiss you again?"

My cheeks were pink, and I nodded my agreement feeling like I should be jumping up and down to let him know how completely and totally happy he had just made me. His lips met mine at exactly the same time the butterflies attacked and I felt like I was floating on air. Nothing else mattered. There was nothing innocent about this kiss, he was staking a claim, letting me know the days of just friends was behind us. His tongue found mine for the first time and became acquainted, while his hands roamed my back side. When he finally pulled away, he looked down into my eyes not releasing me from his grip. "I don't want you kissing Marc Staal anymore." I nodded my agreement. No part of me ever wanted to kiss Marc again. I didn't want to kiss anyone else ever. "Ok so I know it makes me a horrible friend, and I shouldn't be after his girl, but Jenna."

"I was never Marc's girl Zach."

He smiled at me, "Good because he doesn't deserve you and…" This time it was my turn to shut him up. I was done being timid little Jenna, the woman that sat around waiting for Zach to give me a sign. He had finally shown me that he wanted to take that step, that friendship wasn't enough for him, that he wanted me. Now I needed him to know that we were on the same page, that I wanted to be with him every bit as much as he wanted to be with me. I didn't hold back taking his bottom lip between my teeth eliciting a little groan from him that only served to deepen our already heated kiss and set Zach's hands roaming down lower where he cupped my rear and made me squirm closer to him.

"Finally gonna get yourself a piece of that, huh Parise?" Phoebe asked loudly as she walked through the living room. Zach jumped two feet back as if my father just walked into the room, his face a bright shade of red. "Caught with your hand in the cookie jar huh? I hope you plan to make an honest woman out of her."

"I do actually," he replied making the cutest little smirk and not taking his eyes off me.

"Phoebe!" I scolded.

"Don't give it up all at once Jenna girl. Make him work for it." She smacked by butt as she walked past me into the kitchen causing me to jump toward Zach.

"Sorry I didn't know Phoebe was still here."

"You have nothing to be sorry for. I'm glad you're here." I looked up at him through my eyelashes.

He reached out and pulled me into him again. "I'm gonna go, let you have some time with Phoebe. I know she needs you right now, but we need to talk." He brushed the hair from my eyes and smiled down at me, eyes sparkling. I loved when he looked at me that way.

"I'd like that. When?"

"Tonight? I'll bring dinner. I'd have you to my place, but I don't exactly have furniture. You could sit on my lap on the recliner."

"I might like that."

"I might too, just a little too much. Is seven Ok?"

"Perfect. I'm looking forward to it."

"You have no idea Jenna."

****

It was my turn to flop down on the couch and sigh. Was this actually going to happen for us? Was this our time after being friends so long? After tip toeing around it? After dreaming that this could one day happen for us? The one person I’d ever met that sent me to cloud 9, the one person who’s mere presence could take my breath away, the one man who never escaped my thoughts, was finally ready to give us a shot. It was as if my dreams were really coming true and I couldn’t break the smile from my face.

'Don't Kiss Marc Staal,' that had to be a joke really. How could I have? How could I have kissed anyone else ever after what he made me feel. For a moment I was worried that I'd already fallen too hard for him. That his kisses were enough to send me into a world that revolved around Zach Parise. He had no idea the affect he had on me. I swear I would have married that man. If he asked me that day, if he came right back in there, he wouldn't have even needed a ring, and I would have said yes. I felt like such a freak. Phoebe was right about me. I lived in a dream world where the thought of him coming back through that door and asking me to marry him was actually some kind of possibility. All Zach had to find out is that I was thinking that far ahead and he would have been long gone. Who could blame him. I'd be lying if I said I never thought about marrying him, or that even before our first kiss that I suspected he was the only man I could spend the rest of my life with, but as that future brought tingles to my arms and a smile to my face I did want to enjoy the here and now. I wanted to have the time with Zach to swap kisses, and intimate moments. I wanted him to take me to dinner and I wanted to rub his back after games. I wanted to do this right with him, no holding myself back, just enjoying every moment that we would be together.

I thought over my list of firsts, or should I say my list of haven’ts, the things that I’d never done before, many things I would never have considered doing. Zach made me look at this from a whole new perspective. Some things were simple and innocent like walking though campus with our arms linked together, but others were not innocent at all, bordering on dirty and made a blush rise to my cheeks, despite the fact that I was alone in the room. The possibilities swam through my head as I laid back on the couch still trying to remember the feel of his lips touching mine.

"Think Fast!" Phoebe yelled and tossed a bottle of water to me. "I know you're in heat, and I thought that might cool you off a little."

"I'm not even going to yell at you Pheebs. Say whatever you want. I'm in too good of a mood."

"You know if you put that cold bottle between your legs it helps down there too?"

"Phoebe!"

"I thought you weren't going to yell at me," she teased.

"He's just… amazing."

"I knew that when I saw your leg pop."

"Ok, OK! Stop teasing me Pheebs." I reached over and gave her a hug. "I'm sorry about all this."

"What are you talking about? Why are you sorry?"

"I know we don't have the best timing on this; it's gotta be hard to see Zach and I together when Travis…"

"Woah! Just stop right there. Not another word about that, OK? I'm happy for you. So fucking happy my nipples are hard. You have no idea, but there is no way you're going to turn this into a heart to heart about my feelings and a bunch of Travis bullshit. I did what I did, he said what he said. The End. Now tell me, how long do you actually think you're gonna stay a virgin now?"

"Phoebe, you really think you're just going to move on? You can just go back to the way things were?" I strategically ignored the issue of my virginity, instead hoping that she’d want to talk to me about Travis.

"That I do Snow White. You think Franko was hot, you should see the lead singer in his band. He has his tongue pierced and his head shaved, so he's always in control if you know what I mean!" She wagged her tongue at me in the most disgusting way possible.

"Ewwww!"

"Sorry Jenna girl, but I think you're avoiding the question I asked. What do you think is going to happen to your virginity now?" The question wasn't a joke, she wasn't being funny, and to make matters worse she actually expected an answer.

Sex. Sex with Zach Parise. It's not as though I never thought about it, him bursting into my bedroom door and taking me right there. Slowly peeling the clothes from my body, Pushing my body to limits I could never have imagined. Feeling his naked skin against mine as we both began to sweat. Him doing things to me that I'd only ever heard about from Phoebe. I'm only human. Of course I'd had those thoughts, fantasies really, but it was never a potential reality until now. I never had to ask myself if I would alter my values for him. If being with Zach would mean that everything I'd ever held dear to me would somehow become unimportant.

"It's not him I'm worried about," Phoebe said interrupting my thoughts. "I think if you asked Prince Charming to wait, he'd wait until hell froze over for that piece of you. Of course his balls would have fallen off by then, but that's a different story. I think he'll respect the wishes of his princess, what I want to know is if the princesses wishes have changed."

"Do I want to have sex with Zach?"

"Well Yah! I mean come on…How long did it take for you to get in a lip lock like that with that Staal kid? You probably never kissed him like that, wouldn't want to send the wrong signals. I know how you think, how you plan everything out so you are completely and totally prepared. I swear to God if we're ever lost in the forest you'll rip a bow and arrow out of your garter belt and go hunt for food.” She stopped and thought for a moment. “Ok, not a bow and arrow, Snow White would never kill Bambi. How about a basket to gather berries and pup tent to give us shelter? That's some amazing garter belt you've got there.." I rolled my eyes while she laughed at herself like she always did. "My point is that Parise is different and you can pretend it's not true, tip toe around it, ignore my question all you want, but it doesn't change the fact that he's different."

"Well Ms. Know It All, What if I told you that I agree with you. Zach is different? And what if I told you, I'm scared to death?"

****

Zach walked in with a bag of food in each hand, but that didn't stop me. I reached my hands around his neck and kissed him, all out kissed him, my knees shaking a bit, but letting my tongue find his, causing him to awkwardly try to juggle the bags in his hand, while pulling me closer at the same time.

"Mmmm, I could definitely get used to that type of greeting," he said, dimples perched on top of his smile. Making me swoon like a twelve year old with a crush.

We'd eaten meals together more times than I could remember, breakfasts on the floor at the coffee table, lunches at the bar that separated the kitchen and living room, and dinners at my small kitchen table but tonight couldn't have been more different. The first big difference was losing the buffer we always kept assuring that there was a safe distance between us, instead our arms and thighs were only inches apart nervously brushing against each other while we ate. Rather than avoiding eye contact like we had so often in the past, afraid our feelings would be too obvious, tonight we seemed to relish in it, letting our eyes meet and lock on each other's in excited anticipation of what was beginning. Zach wiped sauce off my face with a smirk and fed me off his fork exploring new territory as we enjoyed our take-out Ethiopian. My favorite part of the newness was when we let our hands entwine over dessert giggling like school kids so excited to have our secret passion for the other out in the open. Under it all though was my nervousness, anticipating that as soon as the meal ended, we'd be alone with all that passion.

"Come here." Zach instructed, pulling me away from dishes that needed to be taken care of and into the living room. I wondered if he intended the simple two words he uttered to be as seductive as the came out. Something about them made me unable to quiet the butterflies in my stomach. I briefly wondered if I should have been more careful what I had been wishing for all these years.

We snuggled into the couch, me sitting on his lap and nestled comfortably under his chin wishing I could get a handle on my nerves.

"Are you shaking?" Zach asked with a bit of a laugh.

"Just cold," I lied trying to save myself some embarrassment.

"You're cold? Maybe I can warm you up." He leaned down taking my lips in his own and pulled me tight against him. He successfully raised my temperature, that was for certain. The combination of his lips moving against mine, his hand against my back and his other hand in my hair made me very aware of how quickly I could lose myself in him. My body had taken over and just his kiss had me moaning softly. When he pulled away, I was thankful, knowing I wouldn’t have had the strength to do it myself.

"So what I said earlier, about Marc?" Wait Woah, was he talking about Marc? After that kiss? Did he not know what that kiss did to me? Did he really want to talk about Marc now? "Mhmm," I replied, still lost in that kiss and wishing for another. "I just want to make sure you're Ok with it. You know, not seeing Marc anymore. I mean if something happened that made you feel connected to him."

"Do you think I slept with Marc Staal?" The question just seemed so ludicrous that I couldn’t help but laugh a little.

"Ah..well…no…It's just…" He looked away from me obviously embarrassed that the subject even came up.

"I didn't sleep with him," I stated matter-of-factly.

"I mean if you did… I understand… I mean it was your decision and…"

I put my hands on his face and moved it down so I could look back into his delicious eyes. "I didn't sleep with him," I repeated. He wrapped his arms around me and squeezed me tightly. I was able to feel relief fill his body as it relaxed and his hand on my back began to trace circles.

"You have no idea how relieved I am to hear that. He didn't deserve that, he doesn't deserve you."

"Did you really think I slept with him?"

"No. I honestly didn't, but some part of me just needed to know. It wouldn't change this though, us. It wouldn’t change my feeling for you."

“Zach, my time with Marc was set to run out. I mean, even before this,” I moved my finger back and forth between us. “I was getting ready to end it anyway.”

“You were? Why? I mean you seemed to like him, and I know he was crazy about you. A little too crazy about you actually. I can’t believe I’m asking you this.”

We both laughed a little nervous laugh. “It’s Ok. I don’t have anything to hide…It’s just, he’s a great guy, said and did all the right things, but my instincts kept telling me it was all wrong.”

“You have good instincts. What do your instincts tell you about me?” He innocently rested his hand on my thigh sending shivers up my spine and causing me to press closer into him.

“They tell me to be really careful.”

“Really?” His tone was startled, perhaps concerned.

“Mmhmm. Be careful because it feels very right.” I explained myself giving him chaste kisses on the sides of his mouth.

“Ahhh, you do have good instincts.” He pulled me around so I was straddling him, his hands perched on my thighs. “It does feel right doesn’t it?” The simplest little touches from Zach always set me body on fire, and now these purposeful ones were making me insane. To say that I was attracted to him was to say that Mt. Everest was tall or that Marty Brodeur was a decent goaltender. My usual alarms weren’t going off; I wasn’t uneasy. I wanted his hands on me, his lips on me, way more than I should have considering this was our first night together together. So when he stopped kissing me to ask me when I planned to break it off with Marc, I had to do my best to hide how flustered and how let down my body was feeling.

"I plan to tell him tomorrow.”

"Are you Ok with that? Do you want me to come with you?"

"No. I think I can handle it, but I don't want to talk about Marc anymore. Tonight's not about him."

He finished my thought. "It's about us… And do you know how much I like that there's an us now?" He asked, his lips brushed mine softly. "Do you have any idea how long I've wanted to be here with you, like this?"

"Enlighten me," I requested.

“Since the first time I laid eyes on you, when you told me you wanted to see me score 50 goals?”

“Yeah?”

“You don’t understand, I’d been with Allison for years and years, and the one thing she never did was encourage me. She never said ‘play great tonight’ or ‘I know you can do this’. It was all about her and how everything affected her. When you said that to me something just clicked. There you were, this beautiful woman who had never met me before giving me more encouragement than my girlfriend of over ten years had ever given me. It was that moment that I knew in my heart that things with Allison weren’t forever. And I have to confess, I always thought of you as more than a friend. I’m just sorry it took me so long to get here.”