Too Blind to See It!

Aiden, a fucking soccer player? I paced outside Jenna’s door looking a bit like a stalker trying to come up with a plan. It wasn’t like we were broken up. We just had a fight, a simple fight. OK I admit; I was a grade A asshole, and she should be mad, but she wouldn’t date other people over this, would she? I was kicking myself in the ass for not talking to her sooner, for not clearing things up, for not begging for forgiveness. God I was a freaking idiot. I ran my hands through my hair, my desire to know what was happening behind that closed door all but consumed me.
 
I could hear voice from somewhere deep inside Jenna’s apartment, but I couldn’t make out  the actual words. The occasional bursts of laughter made my anger rage out of control. I wanted to know…no, I needed to know what the deal was with the soccer prick, and what the fuck did that smirk mean?  Another loud burst of laughter erupted from her apartment and I couldn’t take it any longer.
 
The banging of my fist against the door echoed down the hallway. When Jenna opened the door she had a glass of wine in her hand and a pristine white smile on her face that slid immediately off when she saw me leaning against her door frame. “What do you want Zach?” she snapped.
 
“We need to talk,” I replied through gritted teeth.
 
She looked at her watch then back up at me. “You’re about two weeks too late for that, now if you’ll excuse me.” Her tone was low, like she was trying to keep her new friend from hearing our conversation.
 
“I want to know what’s going on with you and blue balls over there.” I pointed to the girly man standing in her kitchen
 
“Zach,” she said hushing me. “Do you have to be so vulgar?”
 
“I think I have a right to know if you’re seeing someone else Jenna?  Soccer’s a great sport you know, for guys who can’t skate.”
 
I could see her getting visibly irritated with me. It reflected in those beautiful eyes. I reached for her hand, but she pulled it away. “I don’t think you deserve anything. How about I call you in two weeks and explain then Zach? How would that work for you?” Oh yeah, she was mad, but I’d rather be there with her, letting her yelling at me, then on the other side of the door wondering what the fuck was going on, on the other side.
 
Just as I was ready to plead my case Aiden peered around the corner. “Everything Ok Jen?” he asked.
 
Jen, he calls her Jen? What the fuck? “Mind your own fucking business ball boy.”
 
Aiden’s eyes went wide, and he made strides into the room. Looked for a minute like I was going to get my confrontation after all, but Jenna cut him off meeting him half way. She put her hand on his chest which made me want to leap over her and punch that pretty face of his. “It’s OK Aiden. Zach is just leaving.” She glared at me as she spoke
 
He looked down at her and removed her hand from his chest holding it briefly. Then his eyes met mine and that same smirk appeared. “You sure?” he asked her, but his eyes stayed locked on me.
 
“Yeah Aiden, Let me just finish up here and I’ll be back in a sec.”
 
He looked toward me. “I always told Jenna she should be a Rangers fan. The Devils must be hurting if they’ve resorted to this type of PR. Why don’t you go knock on the next door and try to get fans there.”
 
“You son of a …” Before I finished my sentence I’d made my way to where I was standing, but it was Jenna’s turn to put her hand on my chest to stop me.
 
“NO!” she screamed. “Aiden go!” He obeyed and turned toward the kitchen.
 
“This is ridiculous. What are you doing Zach?”
 
“Keeping you from making a mistake.”
 
“I’m a big girl. I can make my own choices, but I guarantee you there will be no mistakes made here today.”
 
I’m not sure it was her intention, but that somehow made me feel better. “Jenna I’m sorry.” I had a lot more to say, a pleading apology that I worked over in my head for two weeks now, but she cut me off.
 
“No. I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I’m kicking you out. Now GO!”
 
I tried giving her a pout and when that didn’t work I remembered how much she liked my dimples. I remembered how we’d been lying in bed and she kissed each one and told me that’s what did her in. That she could never resist me when I flashed my dimples at her. Well apparently that was true until now. “Come on Jenna,” I finally pleaded.
 
“GO!” she demanded and pointed to the door.
 
****
 
“What the hell do I do now?” I asked Travis.
 
Travis agreed to tear himself away from Phoebe long enough to meet me for a beer. The only reason he gave in was because I told him he either met me at the bar, or he’d be bailing me out of jail when I went back to kick the shit out of that pansy ass soccer player.
 
Travis ran his hand across the back of his neck and sat up on the stool. He’d spent the better part of forty five minutes listening to me bitch and moan about the events of the afternoon.  “You really fucked up bro.”
 
“Tell me something I don’t know.” I took a long pull on my beer. Alcohol seemed to be the only thing between a relative state of calm and me kicking Jenna’s door down to get her away from the soccer playing fuck.

"Tell me something Zach. Why the hell did you get involved with her if you couldn't handle not having sex? It's not as though she kept her virginity a secret from you. You knew how she felt going in."

I glared at him trying to decide if I should ring his neck or answer his question. In the best interest of the team I went with the latter. "I can handle it…Fuck me..I thought I could handle it. I don't know anymore. No, no I can handle it. I can." I wasn't sure who I was convincing him or myself.
 
“Phoebe says you need to do some major sucking up. I’d bet she’s right. You didn’t talk to Jenna for two weeks, and by all accounts you were a rotten prick when you got home. All whiney about the color of your fucking medal.”
 
“I know. I know. I was a son of a bitch. She didn’t deserve what I did to her. Give me some good news will ya. Tell me something good. I need to get my mind off of this or I'm going to go insane.”
 
“I’m going to ask Phoebe to marry me.”
 
He said it so matter-of-factly, and I nearly spit my mouthful of beer across the room. “WHAT!?!” He laughed so hard at my reaction that his head fell backward and the other people at the bar turned and stared. “You can’t be serious.”
 
“Oh I’m serious all right. Like a fucking heart attack. I’m not going to ask her now, probably not even soon, but I’m going to ask her.”
 
I shook my head at him. Poor bastard was as in love as I was. “So why the revelation? What has moved you so much that you’re ready to throw all your years of bachelorhood away on one woman, till death do you part? I mean, I’ve always been a one woman man, but you…You were a regular man whore.”
 
“She’s a fucking goddess Parise. You’ve seen her. She’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen, and she fucks like the world might come to an end. It’s like reckless abandon. And just when I think she’s had enough she comes back for more. “
 
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but that just sounds like great sex. Certainly not enough to base a marriage on.”
 
“Sounds like someone’s jealous.”
 
“Fuck yeah I’m jealous. I was doing so well holding back, not pushing Jenna. I don’t know what happened, something just snapped in me and … Oh fuck, I probably ruined any chance I have with her anyway. I don’t even know if she’ll trust me after the way I acted.” I took a deep breath and another gulp of beer. “Marriage huh? You’re going to marry Phoebe for sex? Aren’t you getting that now? Why get married?”
 
“Because it’s more than that.”
 
“Convince me Travis, cuz I’m not seeing it.”
 
“That’s just it man. It’s what you don’t see. It’s what she doesn’t let anyone see except me, well and maybe Jenna. Phoebe has a completely different side. She’s funny and fiercely loyal. She can be sweet and completely vulnerable.”
 
“Sure she can,” I teased, not really able to imagine the latter two attributes on Phoebe, but knowing it was probably true.
 
He punched me in the arm. “I’m trying to be serious here Parise. She’s just…” I watched him get flustered. This guy was in way over his head. “She’s  shown me another side to her that makes me want to protect her and love her.”
 
“Love her?” I laughed. “I guess that’s important if you want to marry her.”
 
“You think it’s a bad idea? You think spending the rest of your life with someone like Phoebe is a bad idea Zach? I don’t think it is. I think it’s a fucking awesome idea, but unlike you I’m not into pushing women.”
 
“It’s funny how this worked out, don’t ya think? You got the girl that loves sex and is afraid of all the other relationship stuff, and I got the girl who doesn’t want sex, but gives me everything else I could ever ask for in a woman.”
 
“I think it worked out great.” Travis grinned.
 
“I’ll just bet you do,” I replied and gave him a good shove that nearly knocked him off the bar stool.
 
“So what are you going to do about Jenna? You know if I go back to Phoebe and I can’t tell her what you’re planning to make this right, she’s going to kick my ass. You know how much she loves Jenna. You won’t be the only one going without sex.”
 
I rolled my eyes at him then finished the rest of my beer. “Tell her I’m on this. Tell Phoebe that I love Jenna, and I’m not giving up. Not by a long shot.” I threw some cash down on the bar. Somewhere in my conversation with Travis, while he talked about spending the rest of his life with Pheebs, it dawned on me…I want that too and I want it with Jenna. I want a happily ever after. “You tell her I’m going to give Jenna her fairy tale.”
 
I turned and walked out of the bar. I had a friend who owed me a few favors and I was about to call one in.
 
****
Jenna’s POV
 
“Thanks for coming over Aiden. I’ll see you tomorrow.” I swung the door open to find what had to be two dozen white roses. They were held together in a bouquet by a sky blue ribbon. I bent down and took in their breathtaking beauty, so simple and pure, almost honest in a way. I knew they were an apology, the one I wouldn't let Zach verbalize earlier that day. I didn’t dare look at the card that was strung on the blue ribbon, not yet. By the time I turned to look at Aiden, I had large tears in my eyes, threatening to fall.
 
“Whoa. From the hockey player?” Aiden asked, and I nodded confirming they were from my hockey player. "Flowers aren't very original Jen." I ignored him because the white roses had jumpstarted my heart that I'm not sure had been beating for the last two weeks. "I'm serious about becoming a Rangers' fan. You need a real hockey team to cheer for."

"I don't think so Aiden. Once a Devils' fan always a devils' fan. Besides if I was jumping ship, it wouldn't be to the blue shirts. Now that's something you can take to the bank."

Aiden playfully shook his head at me, wrapped me into a hug, and then I watched him make his way down the hallway toward the elevator.

My eyes went from Aiden to Zach's door, wondering if he was on the other side, and then back to the flowers. Still in the hallway I opened the little card.

I don’t deserve you,
but I can’t live without you.
Please forgive me Jenna.
I Love You,
Zach

My heart started beating a little faster. I love you too Zach.

****

I rubbed the sleep from my eyes as I made my way to the door. Still mostly incoherent I flung it open to see Zach in all his beautiful glory leaning against the door jam, smiling from ear to ear.

"Morning Sleeping Beauty," he said, eyes sparkling, making my heart leap.

Why did I all of a sudden feel self conscious in my NY Jet's PJs and my bed head hair. Zach had seen me like this hundreds of times. I returned his smile, albeit rather weakly not sure if I should slam the door in his face or jump into his arms and kiss him.

"I brought you some breakfast." He held out a white paper bag that smelled like heaven, clearly a chocolate croissant from the bakery down the street, and a cup of Starbucks. Maybe he was Prince Charming after all.

Just as I was leaning toward the jumping into his arms option, he leaned down and kissed me on my forehead. Not exactly where I wanted those lips, but it was sweet none the less. "I miss you Jenna. I have practice, but maybe I'll see you later." He didn't wait for a response, whipped around grabbing his bag and headed toward the elevator.

I laid on my bed eating the most heavenly croissant and mulling over my situation with Zach. It seemed that my Zach had finally come home from Vancouver. I missed him so much, and I was ready to forgive him, but wasn't sure if I should let him know that just yet. The phone call that came next would solidify my decision.

"Morning Pheebs. What's up?"

"You need to get the paper. NOW!"

"What are you talking about? You don't read the paper? Why…"

"Jenna! Travis reads it OK. Go get the paper. The NY Times."

"Pheebs. I don't have a paper. I use the internet for news. Just tell me what's going on."

"Trust me Jenna girl, you're gonna want to read the paper today. Go steal it from one of your neighbors. They all leave them laying in the hall till after noon anyway. Go on. Go. I'll wait, but hurry."

Was she insane? Why couldn't she just tell me? Some force compelled me to the life of crime however, as I tiptoed out the door in my flannel NY Jets PJs to swipe my neighbor's NY Times.

"OK, OK I'm back." I announced into my iPhone and shed the paper from it's plastic skin.

"Now turn to D2."

"D2? Sports?" I questioned.

"Don't argue with me Princess, just do it."

As I turned the first page on the sports section, the boldness of it all slapped me in the face. Staring right at me was a full page apology for the entire world to see.

"But to see her was to love her,
love but her, and love her forever."
--Robert Burns

I know I've been Stupid.
Let me make it better.
If you give me another chance,
I'll give you your fairy tale.
Let me be your Prince Charming.
I love you Jenna.
Please forgive me.
-Zach

He didn't use his last name, but the bottom of the page had a large NJ Devils logo, that probably made thousands of Devils' fans wonder.

"Speechless Jenna Girl?"

"Yes." I replied simply. I was speechless, and completely in love.

****

I sat with my books and lap top scattered around me, my back against the door to Zach's apartment. I could have let myself in, but I didn't feel right doing it. So instead I sat in the hallway, trying to work on a project that was due in less than a week. I wasn't kidding anyone, least of all myself, the project, while 60% of my grade, was the last thing on my mind. All I could think about was Zach and his grand gestures to apologize and make things right between us. Sitting in the hallway, was my first attempt at meeting him half way.

Just as I thought I might actually doze off if I read one more word of Shakespeare, the elevator chimed and off stepped that gorgeous hunk of a man, the one that made my heart sing, the one that (to risk a bad quote from Jerry McGuire) completed me. I quickly closed my books and laptop and pushed them aside. When he caught site of me camped out on his door step, he froze, hand on his hip, and dimples evident all the way down the corridor. I jumped to my feet straightening my messed flannel, and he began moving toward me. My heart released butterflies though out my entire body. God I missed those butterflies.

He stood two feet from me eyes sparkling and smiling from ear to ear. "You're beautiful," he proclaimed making me blush. I could see him resist reaching out to me. "I see you got dressed up for the occasion," he teased and tugged at the bottom of my pajama top.

I laughed and brushed the hair off my face. Looking at him, up into his eyes, I knew I wanted to start over. Not completely over, just since he'd returned from the Olympics. I wanted to forget everything that had happened between us since he'd left and I just wanted to be happy with the man I loved. So I made an attempt to step back in time. "I want to start over Zach, from Vancouver. I just want to forget everything since then." I took a deep breath. "I'm sorry you lost the Gold." I turned my eyes to the carpet, and felt his touch for the first time in two weeks.

His fingers gently raised my face up so our eyes met. "No! I don't want to forget what happened. I want to remember what an ass I've been Jenna. I want to remember every detail so I can remind myself never to make the same mistakes again, so I don't ever come this close to losing you. Tell me I didn't lose you baby." He moved his hand from my chin and linked his thumb behind my ear with his fingers resting on my neck. I shuddered as he pulled into him. "You're still mine right? Tell me you'll forgive me."

Our bodies were touching and our hearts were touching and he stood there just waiting for my answer. "I'm all your Zach. You didn't lose me, and I forgive you."

His lips pressed hot against mine and his free hand found the small of my back and held me there against him. He tasted so good, like peppermint and Zach and I almost lost myself in what was one of the most intense kisses I'd ever had, but Zach pulled away. Our lips were as swollen as our hearts, but he looked down at me vaguely desperate. "Who the fuck is Aiden?"