Love Is Only a Myth

I finished my drawing and observed it. I had drawn a rose, just the rose no stem or anything just the rose. I had shaded in some parts of the rose to make it look more realistic. I smiled down at the picture.

“Ms. Jacobs” Mr. Tucker said pulling me out of my trance. I looked up at him and saw that all eyes were now on me. “Why are you smiling so much?”

I shrugged thinking of my best excuse. “I guess I just love genetics”

As soon as the words left my mouth, the bell rang signaling that it was the end of the day, (insert cheering here). I picked up all the books and headed towards the door. I heard Chris calling my name but I didn’t turn around, I knew that he would just catch up with me.

“So are going to tell me yet?” Chris asked as we entered the hallway, told you so.

“Have you been waiting to ask me that all day?” He simply nodded his head. I groaned and rolled my eyes. I really could use a distraction now…any day now…..right now…before I have to tell him…..ugh.

“So” he said. Ugh, if this were the movies I would have gotten a distraction right now. I sighed as we walked out of the Main building.

“Me and Eric decided that we should be friends,” I said.

“Friends don’t kiss each other the way that you two did at lunch,” he pointed out. Why couldn’t he be a dumb funny guy instead of a smart funny one?

“Well we’re friends we’re just friends with…..benefits” I explained. Chris stopped walking dead in his tracks. I stopped and turned to face him. I ignored all the students walking past us and giving us side glances. They were in groups completely excited that the day was over.

“Who suggested it?” he questioned after minutes of silence. I began looking around in different directions, avoiding his question. Chris quickly understood my actions and his eyes went wide. I winced and turned away preparing myself for Chris to explode. Instead of overreacting, Chris just mumbled something under his breath. I asked him what he said and he looked up at me as if he had forgotten that I was standing here. “Why did you suggest this?” he asked. I had a feeling that this wasn’t what he mumbled under his breath but I shrugged it off.

I looked both ways to make sure that no one was listening but there were still people walking around near by to there dorms and such. I quickly grabbed Chris’ wrist and held my books against my chest in my left arm. I pulled Chris along until I had pulled him behind the Main building. “Swear on you’re balls that you won’t tell anyone what I’m about to tell you” I instructed while dropping his wrist.

He raised his eyebrows as a smirk played at his lips. “My balls?”

“What, you don’t have any?” I smirked back. His smirk quickly fell into a frown. “Swear then”

“Fine. I swear on my balls to never tell anyone what you’re about to tell me. No matter how weird swearing on my balls is” I rolled my eyes at his last comment. I couldn’t just say swear on your life because everyone says that, besides guys are all…I don’t know…..proud of there balls.

“Anyway” I said to keep myself on track. “Well I did it to piss your roommate Blackwood off” I explained.

A smirk was plastered on his face once more. “So you wanted to make Anthony jealous?” he sounded more as a statement than a question but I took it as a question. I shook my head and mouthed the word no. “Of course you were; what other reason do you have?”

I groaned; this was going to be hard to explain. I told Chris about the deal that I had made with Anthony. During the entire story, Chris still smirked. Nothing I had said changed his mind about making Anthony jealous. Well he’s wrong, I’m not trying to make him jealous…..I’m just trying to make him mad that’s all. If I were trying to make him jealous, then I would have to be attracted to him. Okay I’m attracted to him but not enough that I would want to make him jealous….right?

“You sooooo want to make him jealous. You sooo like him” he said.

“No I don’t--” “Yes you do. You just don’t want to admit that you do” he interrupted. “No I don’t,” I said.

“Then what exactly were you planning on doing after Anthony got angry when he saw you two making out?” he asked with a smirk still on his face. I opened my mouth to speak but no sound came out. I hadn’t thought of what I was going to do after Anthony got mad. I just wanted to make him mad; to prove to him that he doesn’t own me and that I can do whatever I want. “See, you like him. You’re just using making him mad as an excuse to make him jealous. In fact, you only kiss Eric when he is around. What’s your excuse now?” I remained silent. I didn’t have an excuse for that; or do I?

“Well it won’t make him as mad if he doesn’t see it when it happens. If he just hears about it happening then he won’t believe it,” I explained. That makes since, I honestly didn’t think that it was going to make as much sense as it did.

“You mean he wouldn’t have been as jealous if he hadn’t seen you”

“Will you knock it off already? I don’t like the guy” I said while getting slightly aggravated.

“Oh yes you do but fine I’ll stop saying it. I’ll just wait until you’re ready to admit it to yourself,” he said while lifting his hands as if he was surrendering. He started to walk away while I stood there dumfounded. There is nothing that I need to admit. Sure, I’m attracted to the guy, but I’m not the only one. I’m only physically attracted to him, not in any other way. “By the way” he said while turning around. “If you really wanted to know what the thing with the belt was you could have just asked me”. My eyes went wide. He knew about the belt, but how. “He’s my roommate remember” he explained answering my thought.

I quickly ran over to him and grabbed his arm. “Tell me”

“On one condition”

“Sure anything”

“You have to tell Anthony the truth and by truth I mean you have to at least tell him why you and Eric are friends with benefits,” he said. I couldn’t tell Anthony why. He would probably think that I just wanted to make him jealous. Then again, Anthony doesn’t seem like he’s going to tell me anytime soon, what happened. I guess I could tell him, but I’ll leave a few things out.

“Deal”

“Well…” he said trailing off at the end. He began to scratch the back of his neck. I’m guessing that he wasn’t suspecting me to actually agree to his demand. “The night of the party, Anthony took you home because all of us were too intoxicated to and you were about to go off with this guy if you catch my drift” I nodded understanding what he was saying. I remembered that part but that was about as far as I had remembered. Everything else was a blur.

“Well when you guys got back to the dorm” he began. “You were kind of…in the mood. So you were flirting with him and pretty hard from what he told me. He said you even made him go in your skirt for the key,” he explained with a smirk. I groaned. I still didn’t remember it but I do get flirty when I’m wasted beyond repair. “So you guys got in the room, you layed down and he started to leave but you called him back. He came over next to you and then you….well….” he said trailing off at the end.

“Well?” I said getting fed up with his stalling. He could have just directly told me what had happened rather than dragging it out.

“Well you kissed him,” he finally said. My breath caught in my throat. “Then you too started making out and you took off his belt. You to only stopped because you suddenly had the urge to throw up from all the alcohol intake I guess” I had kissed Anthony; Anthony Blackwood at that. I did it, not him me. From the story, it sounds as if he was being caring, nice (like he usually is when no one is around us) and trying not to take advantage of me, but I ruined it. I kissed him. To make matters worse I almost had sex with the guy. I almost lost my virginity to him because I was being drunk. The scariest part was that drunken thoughts are sober thoughts so is it the same for drunken actions? The absolute positively worst part of this entire thing is,

I can’t remember the kiss.