Love Is Only a Myth

My alarm clock rang, louder and louder. I sighed and hit the snooze button. This was the time I should have been getting up to go down to the pool with Anthony, but I knew that that wasn’t going to happen. Even if it did I wouldn’t enjoy it. It would be way too awkward and I was too tired to go anywhere.

It wasn’t as if I had slept last night. I was awake for what felt like all night. My conscience wouldn’t let me rest. It kept me tossing and turning all night. All I could think about was what Anthony had said and what Sam had told me.

I crawled out of bed and walked to the bathroom so that I could take a shower. I looked in the mirror at my horrid expression. There were bags under my eyes showing that I had a restless night. My eyes were blood shot red from crying so hard for so long.I honestly can’t remember a time when I cried like that.My hair was matted, tangled, and all over the place. I looked as if I had travel through a tornado.

Then again I have. I haven’t done it physically, but emotionally and mentally I have. My life was spiraling and I had caused it. All because of one four letter word. One word changed everything. A word that I don’t understand has changed my life.

But how can I understand it. I’ve never seen it. The only examples that I’ve seen of it is my parents and that ended horribly. Teen “love” never lasts so of course I’m not going to use that as an example. But what if this is all this is, teen “love”.

I turned on the water to the shower. I needed to clear my head, and a shower always seemed to help. I undressed and stepped into the shower. The feeling over the warm water running over my skin relaxed me,for now.

After washing my hair and doing everything that I needed to do, I cut the water off. I grabbed a towel off of the rack and used it to wrap around me. I stepped out of the shower and in front of the mirror. I tucked in the top of the towel so that I wouldn’t have to hold it. I brushed my teeth and combed my hair. I decided to let it air dry, because I wasn’t in the mood to dry it. I was now in waves but once again, I didn’t care.

I changed into a pair of black skinny jeans and a purple graphic tee. I slid on a pair of silver flats to finish the outfit. I walked back to the bathroom and looked at my self in the mirror. I still seemed tired, despite my outfit.

I decided that I would just wear make-up to cover it up. I put on some black eyeliner, eye shadow and lip gloss. I looked as if nothing had happened, which is what I was going for.

But I knew what I felt like on the inside. I was miserable and confused. Everything I may think about love may be wrong. I can’t just accept it like that.

Yes you can

I’m not in the mood right now conscience

I grabbed everything that I would need for the day and picked up my key off the night stand. It was still early, classes wouldn’t start until later. I decided that I should go have breakfast instead. It could give me something to do, since I can’t sleep.Even if I wanted to.

I shut and locked the door behind me as I entered the empty hallway. Instead of walking I looked to my left down the corridor until I set my gaze on his door.

I stood there staring at it, hoping that the door would open. Hoping that he would step out into the hallway and look my way. Hoping that he would walk over to me and ask if he could explain what happened yesterday. This time I would listen to what he has to say. I would try and be open minded about what he has to say.Though I still don’t believe in love quite yet.

But it never happened. The door never opened, he never entered the hallway. In fact no door down that side of the corridor opened. I stood there hoping, yet nothing happened. I sighed not caring if anyone was around to hear it. I should have known that that wouldn’t happen.

I turned on my heel and began walking towards the elevator. As if I had anything else to look forward to today.

Even though the situation between you and Anthony is stupid, on your half, at least try to cheer up

I’ll try but I’m not making any promises
***

I sat at the breakfast table across from Chris. Luckily he was already down here, so I wouldn’t be alone at the table. I thought that Anthony would have come-down with him but I was wrong. He said that Anthony was still in the bed sleep. I tried to shrug it off and make it seem as if I didn’t care but according to Chris, I didn’t do a good job.

“You know” Chris spoke as he finished his pancake “By the way that you dressed, you would have thought that nothing was wrong between you two”

I simply shrugged and ate another piece of my pancake. I wasn’t in the mood to talk about what had happened yesterday. I wanted to just eat and drown my sorrows in syrup. Hopefully I‘ll drown them so much that I forget about them entirely.

“Hola mis amigos” Seth spoke as he sat down. I held back the urge to roll my eyes and groan. I don’t have a problem with Seth, not one bit, it’s just that he’s Eric’s younger brother. That means that he probably knows about the status between me and Eric right now. If he knows the status then that means he’s going to have something to say and I’m not in the mood to hear it.

“Hey freshman, what‘s up?” Chris asked.

Seth smirked and folded his arms behind his head before leaning back in his chair. “I have a date tomorrow night?”

“Alright? Who with?”

“Chelsea Daniels ”

“Oh I‘ve seen her. She‘s a pretty hot freshman. How did you score a date with her”

Seth smirked again and placed his arms on the table. “You see, she‘s in my algebra class right and she’s a
Tutor. So I failed a test so that my teacher would tell her to tutor me until my grades “go back up” so now she‘s coming to my room tomorrow night”

Chris and Seth then high-fived each other. I rolled my eyes and snorted. You would think that these two were in the same grade by the way that they act.

Seth then looked at me and raised his eyebrow. Damn, I should have kept my mouth shut. “Something I do wrong. I mean you‘re the expert player at the table”

“HEY!” Chris yelled.

“Sorry but I haven‘t seen you get any action since I‘ve been here” Seth explained.

“I‘m not a player” I intervened. That was something that I wasn‘t expecting Seth to say. I was expecting something more along the lines of after what you did to my brother I don‘t think you should be saying anything.

“Like hell you‘re not” he said with a smile. “Guys already think you‘re hot, not all of them but like 75%. Well 86% of the freshman class thinks you‘re hot. Anyways and you have two guys who like you. Not even like you but the used the L word. I need to be taking lessons from you”

“Shouldn‘t you be yelling at me for hurting your brother or something. Not congratulating me on hurting him. Which is something that I didn‘t want to do in the first place”

Seth shrugged in response. “I’m not going to blame you for that. My brother shouldn‘t be so emotional and whipped and all girlish. I mean what kind of guy drops the L bomb on a girl when he‘s not getting anything in return”

I sent Seth an icy cold glare. It was as if I was trying to shoot daggers at him through my eyes. I couldn’t believe what he had just said, about his own brother at that. I understand that he is young and doesn‘t really understand what he‘s saying but that doesn‘t make it any better. It‘s people like him that were the reason for me not believing in love in the first place. I pushed my tray away from me and stood up from the table. I could feel my blood boiling as I glared at Seth.

“You know what Seth you‘re to young and immature to understand. You know what else just because they said that they loved me doesn‘t mean that anything is wrong with them. That‘s how they were feeling and they couldn‘t control that. And for you to think that they can is just--” the sound of Chris clearing his throat interrupted my rant.

I gave Chris a look that said “what!”. He raised his eyebrows and nodded his head slightly. I stood there for a minute trying to figure out why he interrupted me. That’s when it hit me, I said what Sam had just said.

I had basically said the same thing that she had told me yesterday. I just admitted that Anthony AND Eric didn’t do anything wrong. I said that there was nothing wrong with them saying that they were in love with me, I had just contradicted myself.

I blinked a few times to snap myself out of my trance. Both Chris and Seth were giving me confusing looks. Seth‘s was because he didn‘t know what was going on. Chris‘ expression was because he was confused about how I would handle everything that I had just said.

“I need some air” I said in a rush. I grabbed my things and hurried away from the table. I needed to get out of here. I needed to clear my head. I needed sometime to think.

I practically ran to the door of the cafeteria. I reached it just in time for the door to open and for me to bump into the person who had opened it. I fell onto the ground dropping my books in the process. I shook my head and ignored the pain that my butt was currently feeling. I looked up to find Anthony standing there with Eric behind him. Now they want to show up.

Anthony bent down to pick up my stuff but I scooped up my stuff before he could reach it. I stood up off the ground and onto my feet. “I‘m fine” I brushed past both of them before they could say or ask me anything.

I need to think