Robin, Boy Virgin: Original Series

It was Sunday morning, around 10 o’clock. I was sitting outside on my front steps (even though it was cold as fuck out), trying to drink a cup of coffee. I was sitting outside, waiting for Glenn and Linda to come home. I was tired of being alone. Even if I just locked myself in my room, I wanted to know that I wasn’t alone in the house. I wanted to hear Glenn and Linda talking downstairs, making me lunch or dinner I wouldn’t be able to eat.

Suddenly, I jerked the coffee cup, throwing the drink out on to the frozen lawn. I put the cup next to me on the steps and crammed my hands in my pockets. I know it was stupid to wait outside, I should just wait inside and not catch pneumonia, fack. But I wanted to see Glenn as soon as he got here. I didn’t want to, like, hug and cry or anything. I just wanted to see him, I guess, when he pulled into the driveway-

The Charger came whipping down the road and pulled along side the boulevard of my yard. Before I could think of anything, I felt my heart pound, out of all the love I still have and concern, as the wheels of the car skidded on black ice, worried that Cora would crash into the ditch that borders the lawn. But, of course, she didn’t. I wondered why she didn’t pull into the driveway-

What is she doing here?? I can’t take anymore; she’s already… like… what is this??

Cora climbed out of the Charger and looked over at me. She blinked and slammed the stiff car door purposefully. She walked around to the passenger side and opened the door. She grabbed something and then cautiously, but again purposefully, walked toward me. A plastic grocery bag was hanging from her hand.

I watched her walk toward me, my heart beating faster and harder as she got closer. I was terrified and I was in love. She is so beautiful. Eventually she was standing in front of me, a few careful feet away. She took a few breaths, staring at me. Those eyes of hers darted around, staring at my face.

“Hi,” She said finally. I pressed my lips together. I couldn’t say hi back. I was scared I was going to get my heart given back to me and then broken again.

“Robin… I…” She tried to say… whatever she was trying to say. She took a breath and glanced up at the sky for help. Then she looked at me.

“I don’t expect you… to forgive me. What I did… what I did was unforgivable. I know that,” She said. She sounded nervous, but Cora’s version of nervous. Beautiful and confident, somehow, at the same time.

“But um… you were right. You were right about everything,” She said in a rush of breath. “Like usual,” She added, tilting her head and looking away and smiling crookedly. She looked at me again and grew serious and Cora-nervous again.

“I was scared. I was… I was terrified. I’ve lived in California with my parents, my whole life. And I thought, when I came here with my mom, it would just be… temporary, you know? Like, maybe, my life would go back to the way it used to be, if I was patient,” She said. I stared at her.

“Ridiculous. I know,” She said suddenly, shaking her head and closing her eyes. She swiftly opened them again. “But, then, you know, life kept going and I… I fell in love with you,” She said. I stared at her and my brain blinked, if that makes any sense. I’ve never heard her say it like that. So… like…

Uninhibited and crazy. Like the way I say “I love you” to her.

“And I was scared because I didn’t expect it and I didn’t know how to deal with it. I didn’t realize I was clinging to the past the way I was…” She went on, frowning in thought at herself, and looking away from me. Then she blinked and she looked at me, her face suddenly, like, painfully compassionate.

“And! And when you made love to me? That- oh God,” Came rushing out of her mouth and looked up at the sky again. “That was absolutely not a mistake. What was the mistake was me, what I did,” She said and looked at me. My brain blinked again.

“The mistake was not telling you that I was scared and not confronting it and instead being so… fucking stupid. The mistake was running away, I know,” Cora admitted, her words flowing out of her and her eyes darting all over the place. Then she fell quiet and looked down at the ground.

“I know I’ve put you through hell, Robin. It was because I’m love with you but I was… really scared,” She summarized simply. Then she looked at me again.

“But I’m not scared anymore. I don’t want to go anywhere. I want to stay right here, wherever you are, that’s where I, I want to be. I, I need to be, there… now,” She said, slightly incoherent.

“I love you, Robin. And I don’t expect you to love me anymore, after what I did. That’s ok. I understand, really, I do,” She said. She blinked and suddenly remembered the grocery bag. She hastily bent down and yanked out whatever was in the bag…

Oh my God. A huge two litre bottle of Coke. She held it out to me.

“But I am really sorry. And I just want you to know, that I still love you, even if you don’t want me around anymore,” She said. I stared at the bottle of Coke.

“So… if you don’t want to be my boyfriend, that’s ok. Really. I understand. But… will you just… let me be your girlfriend?” Cora asked. “I promise, I won’t put through anything more I’ll just… just, like stay away… and, like, admire from afar type of thing… I guess,” She barrelled on in a rush.

I interrupted her by taking the Coke bottle from her hands. I put the bottle down on the steps next to me and stood up, looking at it. I could almost freaking feel Cora carefully putting the heart that she’d tearfully carved out of me back into place seamlessly. Because, in the end, I couldn’t let comparatively five minutes of heartache ruin months of falling in love. I didn’t want to stay lonely and depressed over Cora, I wanted to be with her and be happy and in love. And if she’s apologizing and promising me that chance…

If you were me, I mean in my brain and in my heart, what would you do? Honestly. Would you hate Cora forever? Would you cast aside everything else? Could you really do it? Could you expect me, the crazy in love kid that I am, to do that?...

You know, she didn’t have to say all the things that she’d just said. I mean, it was incredible that she had, but the Coke bottle said it all. Once, when I was sorry and in love, I’d given her a bag of corn chips. Now, here we have a Coke bottle. The symbolism, man. I’d like to buy the world a Coke, and keep it company…

“Robin?” Cora prompted softly. I looked at her. She stared at me, those blue eyes worried about me.

“I’m sorry. I love you,” She tried to sum up again.

“… I know,” I said, nodding. I know it. I can see it, it’s in her freaking beautiful face, it’s in her husky Cora voice. She’s in love with me. I can see it, I can feel it.

I frowned slightly and then just kinda reached out and held her face and kissed her. Like in one, un-smooth action. Cora was only still (probably shocked) for a moment. Then I felt her arms go up around me, holding my neck and shoulders tightly.

We stood there in the fucking freezing cold, kissing like the crazy, in-love teenagers we are for… ages. Eventually I drew away just a little. I guess so I could say something, but nothing came to my mind. Fack.

“… are you serious? You’re forgiving me?” Cora whispered breathlessly, shocked and exasperated with me. I sighed, strange happiness flooding me, scaring away all the sucky feelings.

“Of course Cora. I’m freaking in love with you, right? I can’t not throw my heart out there all… all reckless and stupid. I have to do it because I love you,” I said with a shrug. I opened my eyes and my heart pounded to see her face so close to mine. And smiling. Oh yes, there it is. The beautiful Cora smile that makes me nervous and horny and in love. She touched my face.

“Right. Love is so stupid,” She agreed, frowning at me and still grinning. I grinned at her and the muscles felt a little weird, after not using them for a couple days, but good nonetheless.

“… I promise to take care of your heart this time,” Cora said. I paused, just looking at her, and then I abruptly threw my head back and moaned loudly.

“God, you sound like a fucking Freddie Prinze Junior movie,” I groaned. I looked down at Cora and grinned as she dropped her mouth and slapped my chest.

“Shut up. That was a very dark period for me. I was a scared, little girl. You should be sensitive about it,” She said, pretending to be annoyed and upset. But she wasn’t. I knew.

Because she wasn’t a scared little girl. She was brave. Cora had saved herself, in typical, brave, balls-y, confident, Cora fashion. She’d saved herself and had now saved me.

Fuck, if anyone’s riding off into the sunset with their arms around someone, its me. I’m the one, leaning against her back and grinning like a love-struck goon while she fearlessly charges forward on some kick ass war house-

Wow. Robin, you are pa-the-tic romantic goof. But I don’t care. I’m Cora’s pathetic, romantic goof.

“… why were you sitting outside, anyway? Aren’t you cold?” Cora realized, demanding, and frowning at me. Her hard eyes were glinting and she had that sweet, sweet, merciless teasing in her voice.

“No,” I answered, shaking my head. Cora smiled at me and then rolled her eyes.

“Well I am fucking freezing. Can we go inside please?” She requested obviously, still smiling. I nodded and moved to pick up the Coke bottle, but Cora grabbed me and kissed all down my cheek and neck before letting me go. I grinned and grabbed the Coke bottle.

I held out my hand for Cora and she took it easily. I grinned again and lead her inside.