The Disease Called Men

Preparation is important! What? Of course it is! What kind of bride comes to her wedding unannounced?!

Cerise's Crap, I really need to do this urgently list:
1. Get those Brookfield boys out of Aldenbury!
2. Get those Brookfield boys out of Aldenbury!
3. Get those Brookfield boys out of Aldenbury!
4. Buy Sarah a birthday present, dammit.



I hated this. I hated how Aldenbury – my heavenly sanctuary – was becoming polluted by Brookfield. I hated Brookfield. What did Mr. Reynolds once tell me? To never mix my colours with the whites? No… that wasn’t it. Although my best blue shirt did become a rather dappled puce colour – no! He told me never to give up! To not be beige! Didn’t he tell me not to be beige? How could I stop this –

THUD!

Nikko had dropped a huge pile of books and a high stack of papers. He glared at us. “I myself took the bloody time and effort to research and personally hand write each of you a copy.” He began to halfheartedly hand us papers. “If anyone of you ingrates dare to draw on my notes – especially the kind of the nether regions of the male anatomy – I will kill your family.”

Miller let out a quiet gasp and Kyles dropped his pencil.

Nikko expectantly looked at me with a ‘where the hell is the your work, Cerise?’ look written on his face. I casually turned away. Crap, I didn’t know I was supposed to prepare something!

“And Cerise, you…”

I frowned at him. “What? Am I your number one suspect of committing such crimes? Do you honestly think I would draw …that on your precious, dearly beloved papers? What are you, dense?”

Kyles and Miller chuckled. Nikko blinked at me. “What? N-no! I was going to ask if you wrote the report on – ”

“Well, I didn’t.” I huffed and crossed my arms. “I didn’t even know we had an annoying meeting today! We were supposed to have our meeting on Thursday. Geez, you’re so annoying.”

“Today is Thursday, you fool!” Yasmin scolded.

I ignored Yasmin. “Why do we even have an annoying meeting? I just saw you all on Tuesday. And that,” I threw a disgusted look at Nikko, “I saw yesterday.”

Miller frowned. “You did? Why?”

“What?” Nikko smiled quite warmly as he batted his eyelashes. I stared at him. Why do guys always have thick eyelashes?! What a waste! “You miss me already, honey?”

I scowled at him. Disgusting! “No darling, I just had enough of your face.”

Nikko leaned in and pinched my cheek. “Aw, you’re so cute when you’re being vapid!” He mockingly cooed.

In the background, I thought I heard Yasmin mutter something like, “Then doesn’t that mean she’s always ‘cute’?”

How annoying. I swatted his hands away and huffed. “Hey, will you get over me already?”

“What?”

“Look, I know you like me – and that’s not your fault – but could you please refrain yourself from touching me? It’s kind of disgusting.”

Before Nikko could retort, Julia coughed. “Where are the principals?”

“And who the hell suggested this idea?” Added an impatient Yasmin, finger tapping on her desk.

“That would be me.”

I nodded fervently at Yasmin. “Yeah, this is a stupi…” I turned around to face the speaker. I froze. It was a woman.

“I am Ms. Fischer,” the woman stated as she let the door shut with a loud BAM! “I am the Principal of Brookfield Boys College.”

I was quite taken aback. I had just naturally assumed that the Principal of BBC was a passionate retired army officer who took pleasure in disciplining boys and turning them into men. But Ms Fischer was everything but. She reminded me of the ‘Snow Queen’. I shivered. Seeing this woman was ten times worse than any old expired army officer. I don’t know. She seemed like one of those teachers that were out to get you just because your clothes weren’t colour coordinated or something. I gulped. I knew that I did not want to mess with her.

“…Stupendous idea!”

“I know, isn’t it, Cerise? That’s what I said!” The bald principal chirped up as he entered the room, rubbing a mysterious newly formed bump on his bald head.

I mentally groaned.

“Ah. So you are Cerise. Mr Van Goldenburg had strongly reassured me that you are an impressive and capable student.” I squirmed as I felt Ms Fischer slowly scrutinise me from head to toe. “I hope you do not disappoint.”

I stared at her, now consciously aware my mouth was hanging slightly open.

“We will need organisers for the event.” Ms Fischer began to flick through some papers Nikko had placed on the table earlier.

“Ah,” the bald principal smiled, “does anyone want know anyone who is suitable for the job or would like to volunteer – ”

“Nikko, you should not have any trouble with this, I presume.” Ms Fischer didn’t even look up.

“Ah – ”

“And I am sure Cerise should be more than happy to help.” She glanced at me. “It is her job, anyway.’

“Actually, I – ”

Ms Fischer stopped going through her papers and gave me a deadly look, daring me to continue. “Yes, Cerise?”

“Ah, actually, I wanted to-to see…” I swallowed, “to see Nikko after the meeting. I want to discuss more details with him.” Annoying! Why don’t I just engrave my name on my tombstone while I’m at it, dammit!

Ms Fischer blinked at me slowly. She didn’t appear too impressed. “I already expected you to do that Cerise.” She then looked back at her papers. “I also expect Yasmin and Clark to aid you, should you need any help, otherwise they will be responsible for numbers, locations and other minor details which will be later discussed. I expect Julia to manage the financial areas, while Cody should be responsible for handling reports and contacting people and so on.”

I stared at this woman. Who is this person?!

She adjusted her glasses, pushing them to the bridge of her nose. “I only expect the best from you all.”

No one replied.

“If you prove otherwise,” the robotic ice queen principle continued, “you will be replaced. I do not accept incompetence.”

The bald principal smiled and added, “And don’t forget to have fun!”

I mentally groaned. Somebody, murder me in my sleep.



“Hey Cerise!”

Everything goes away if you ignore it long enough. That’s common knowledge.

“Cerise!”

Ignore it! Dammit, go away!

“Cerise! Cerise Van Goldenburg!”

Shut up. Shut up, you ass!

“Cerise, honey!”

I stopped walking. I could feel my blood pressure rise. Hearing that disgusting person call me that had caused a vein to rupture in my head. I’m going to have a stroke! Only I was allowed to pretend we were married to piss him off. Just who does he think he is?!

“WHAT?!” I yelled as I turned around to face that annoying Nikko.

Nikko exasperatedly sighed, throwing his hands in the air. “Finally!”

“Listen,” I said as I pointed accusingly at him, “We are not married! How can your ignorance delude you into thinking that?!” I know I started, but still…

“I know we’re not married.” Nikko replied seriously.

“What?”

He sighed and looked away. “I’m… I’m widowed.”

“What?”

He walked up to me, cupping my face and looked me in the eye. “You are not the woman I fell in love with, the person you once were. You’ve changed. You’re dead to me, Cerise, dead.”

“WHAT!”

“I… I can’t believe how much you’ve changed…” That annoying loser sniffed and broke eye contact.

“You… you…” I flailed my arms, pushing him away. Who is this person?!

“Just thinking about it… it hurts me…” That annoying bastard dramatically placed a hand on his chest and sighed a painfully long sigh.

“You don’t even know me and you…” I caught him laughing. “Are you… are you doing this on purpose!?”

Nikko cleared his throat and averted his eyes as he stuffed his hands in his pockets.

“I can’t believe you get a kick out of pissing people of, you… you sadist! You’re so annoying!”

“And you love me for it, wife.” Nikko replied flatly.

“I do not! Argh! You’re so annoying. We are not a married couple!” I grumbled as I began to stomp away.

In the corner of my eye I saw Jennifer whisper to Ayano. Don’t tell me those two saw the whole thing. Ugh. Those two were the biggest gossipers in Aldenbury. I regret calling him my ‘husband’. I regret it, I regret it, dammit! Is this what Julia calls ‘karma’?!

Nikko cleared his throat. “Anyway, jokes aside. I do have a reason looking for you.”

I turned around and looked at him. “What? You mean you actually have other things to do than stalking me?”

Nikko half-heartedly shrugged. “Don’t flatter yourself. As much as you like to think the world revolves around you and loves you, they probably don’t. Everyone has better things to do. Like a life. I hear they’re fun.”

I groaned.

Nikko sighed. “That was revenge for earlier, you jerk. Don’t get excited. I’m here to ask you something.”

“What? Can’t you ask someone else?” I whined, “You see, I’m in a real big hurry, and I’ll be late…”

Nikko raised an eyebrow. “Late for what?” I could feel him frowning at me as I began to walk ahead. “Yeah, thanks Nikko for carrying all my luggage and for helping me move into my dorm!”

I froze. Oh no. Not the guilt card.

“Yeah, and thanks Nikko for putting up with my annoying – uh, I mean friend.”

I bit my lip. He wasn’t evil enough to coerce me with guilt into whatever he wanted me to do, was he?

“And thanks Nikko for writing all the needed reports for today’s meeting, even though I was too busy contributing… what was it? Oh, that’s right. Nothing.”

I slowly turned around. I really didn’t want to face him.

“And thanks for saving me from all those big bad bullies from beating me up.”

“I did not ask for your help, anyway, you didn’t do any – ”

“And thanks Nikko for not turning me in when I was trespassing at Brookfield. Even though if Ms Fischer found out I would have possibly been – ”

“All right, all right already! What is it?” Evil jerk.

Nikko smiled warmly. But I knew otherwise. “Wrong. It’s ‘oh amazing, wonderful, handsome Nikko! I’m overfilled with gratitude and awe! Is there anything my poor, shameless self could possibly offer to repay this debt?’”

I snorted. “What the hell do you want?”

Nikko smirked. “Now you’re getting it. Do you know how hard it was trying to talk at your level?”

I looked at him in disbelief. “Are you trying to flirt with me? Can you stop?”

Nikko scoffed at me as he retrieved a neatly folded piece of paper from his pocket.

“Oh great. You’re not going to ask me to write down my number or something.” I sighed and shook my head at him. “You’re doing it wrong. Aren’t you supposed to give me flowers or money or something?”

Nikko frowned at me. “Right. Because if I was giving you money, wouldn’t that make you a prostitute or some shit?”

“And there’s nothing wrong with that. If I accepted – which I won’t, unless you beg. But… I’m sorry… it’s just that… I don’t like Brookfield boys, or you, mainly you – ”

“Who the hell is confessing to you?!” Nikko growled as he shoved the piece of paper in front of my face. “‘West dorm’. Where is it?”

I stared at the papers. It was a registration form. “W-why would you need to know that?”

“We’re moving there tomorrow. Where is it?”

“What…?”

“I said,” Nikko exasperatedly sighed and slowly recited as if I had trouble understanding English, “I am moving to the dorms tomorrow. Where is the ‘West dorm’?”

I stared at him. He was serious. Oh my god.

Those little shits are coming. And they’re coming tomorrow